I am seated at home, and a message comes in on my phone. I check it out, and show it to my lover. Here is the full text.
“You man you are gay that man is not yr wife he is a man like u am so disappointed in u Jesus loves u and he is not happy. Repent, now is the time.”
A simple message actually. Someone who saw me on TV maybe. Someone who knows me enough to have my mobile number. Who knows that I live with my lover. And he knows the ‘secret’ that before I would have died rather than reveal.
True. I am scared.
I am a human being. I may appear brave and all, but I am also a human being. I said before that I had entered the lion’s den and bearded him. Yes, I have. But that does not mean that I am not scared.
A message like that is very frightening. Should I reply to the number? My lover tells me not to. I think about it for a second, and I follow his advice.
So, who is it? Why has he or she sent me the message? What do they expect? What are they capable of?
I would be stupid not to be scared. And again I would be stupid to take off and run because of this. Not stupid bravado, but just plain sense. I have outed myself. That is a fact. I do have a lot of control on many things, but this was necessary.
Just that now it is becoming more personal. A few days, I hope, and then I will have weathered it, I hope.