[All this aint mine. Just Frank Mugisha!!!!!] gug
Andrew Belonsky: Can you describe coming out to your family?
Frank Mugisha: I did not come out to my whole family. My Dad died when I was age 7, so me and my brother were raised by my mother. I did not come out and tell my mom that am gay for a long time. I did not know how she would react, because I had never heard her mention anything against or in favor of LGBTI people. She never mentioned any thing at all, even when the topic came up on TV or on radio. I went single sex boarding school and unlike other parents who warn their children about homosexual acts in school, my mother never mentioned anything about gay people.
At age 17 I came out to my younger brother, because he asked a lot of questions and some how found out that I am gay. He asked me and I told him the truth. He was age 15 then. He did not mention it again until he was 18, then he made it a big deal and thought it was funny. He made fun of me, but with humor. For instance, when we would meet a cute boy with a nice ass, he would tease me and say, “Does he turn you on?” He still does, but we are very close and he supports me a lot.
AB: How did you get involved in activism?
FM: I developed the idea of starting a gay organization after fully accepting myself as a homosexual man. The idea of starting this LGBTI organization was given momentum in 2004, when I found out that there was an organization called Icebreakers Manchester. I contacted one of its volunteers - David Armstrong - and he gave me the moral support and courage to carry on with the idea.
That’s when my mother came face to face with my sexual orientation. I told her I was gay and this is what I wanted to do. At first she did not object, nor did she support me. A few months after realizing how determined I was to carry on with activism, she tried to talk me out of it, but I said that I wanted to go on. I had only one year left to finalize my bachelor’s degree and I was free do as I please after my studies. I graduated in 2005, with Second Class Upper Honors Degree and that’s when mom stopped the hassle about my activism.
I also started to come out to my friends. I had tried earlier, but I lost almost all my friends who I had told that I was gay. By the way, most of my relatives don’t talk to my family because of me.
AB: What did you learn - as a child - about gay people? What were you taught?
FM: I was raised a Catholic. My brother and I went to all boys school until college. At home I wasn’t taught any thing good or bad in regard to gay people, but at school I was taught how bad it was to be gay and how sick and sinful it was. My class mates and school mates had all the bad names for gay people or people who were rumored to be gay. At school there was no choice: if one was rumored to be gay, he was expelled immediately. I stayed very far away from any one who was rumored to be gay or any one who made advances on me, because I did not want to be suspended or face humiliation. I wanted to be close to some one who felt like me, but, it was a sin. I thought maybe it was true: I am abnormal…
I prayed to God so many times to take it away and heal me. I made bets with God as a child I asked Him in my solitude that if He takes it away I will double the times I go to church. I asked God for a sign, a dream, a vision to take it away, but I never received any… Even now there are days when ask my self and wish there was a pill I could take to change the way I feel. However much we fight for our rights, even if we get the rights, there are some people who will never understand, there are people who will see us different and continue to hate us.
AB: How do you and your peers meet? I understand you’re living in dangerous situations, so how do you organize meetings? Where do you meet?
If couples want to live together in the same house then they have choose a very discreet place to live, or stay in gay or friendly neighborhood, or simply disguise as brothers or friends living together and never mention to any one what they do behind closed doors, other wise one can go to prison or face hate crimes.
AB: And your meetings?
FM: Our meetings are always in undisclosed places and we are very careful who we invite. We meet in safe places like our homes. Some of our meetings are gay friendly restaurants and pubs, but so far there are three such places that am aware of in
AB: Do you consider
FM: The fact that we vote and majority rules, yes
AB: In your opinion, why do your countrymen continue to cling to colonial ideals of sexuality?
FM: I think people are just refusing to face the facts. They cling to old tradition colonial ideals which suit them, but when it comes to some thing that doesn’t suite them, they fight the government to amend the laws. For instance, look at the land laws in
burying us in the sand.
The other thing is, these laws are in line with religion and some how culture. But me? I think it’s ignorance. Africans are not informed. No one has given them the better version of the laws: new laws according to social, political and economic changes. They don’t even know what and why these laws were put in place. That’s is why despite of all that goes on in
AB: Are you a religious person? Can you describe your relationship with the church?
FM: Like I said before, I am a religious person. I have tried to study the Bible and homosexuality and I find a lot of contradictions there. I find a lot of reason not to believe the Bible, but I can’t simply wake up in the morning and say, “There is no God, Bible or the Church”. No, I cant. Maybe my fear goes to religious leaders who have taught us that some people are bad evil or sinful just because of their sexual orientation. I don’t go to church as often as I used to. When I can I pray, prayer still works for me - always has. When the going gets tough, I turn to God. I don’t mind if He is there or not, but at some points I want to talk to some one, and at some points I want to believe in something, so I turn to God.