Sunday, December 21, 2008

Restless.



I have been going through a funny time.


I would call it rough, but that would be a misnomer. And inaccurate. Ever though of the fact that what we think of life is just not that bad, as we thought it is?


Am home at the moment. Sunday evening. I should be out partying. End of year parties. Kuchu. Couple that I should have been attending. Have not, so breaking some people’s hearts. But that will do.


I am home, seated, stomach is full, mind is alert, music on the radio- slows, western, the kind that seem to be a staple Sunday evening on the fm stations here.


Not many people are having it this good. So I am fine, as far as I can figure it. But my mind and heart are itching. New year on the way. I look back at the old, and wonder about the things that I have not been able to do. Life is passing by, and I do want to have somethings done. A specific something actually. Hoped that it would have been done this year, but, well, it wasn’t.


The year is winking out of existence. A new year is coming in, and I am thinking of resolutions. They happen to be very selfish, this time. Don’t see a need to make them less so. And selfish can be very lovely, in a way.


A selfless life can be little fun.




GayUganda

2 comments:

Leonard said...

Thanks Gay Uganda,

I love NOW...even when now is all of the feelings and doings that you describe...I once didn´t stay in NOW, I fled from it and played a lot of PRETEND...pretend has little value and REALITY in the NOW is filled with realife adventure...sometimes I do drift into the what´s next...but, not often because I discovered that I LOVE REALITY...it just takes some adjusting to.

Love to you and yours and the Holiday Season,

Leonardo Ricardo

spiralx said...

I suppose it depends on how you understand "selfless".

Your individuality is important, and valuable. It's also there for a reason. So it's right to value it, and to give it room, opportunity and time to flower.

But beyond that? Well: we are a social species. You are also a node in a network, one human being linked to others. Via a shared culture; a gender; a period of history; maybe a profession; certainly by blood and biology.

So if you see yourself as that node, giving everything you can to the larger whole, you may see how that trained and honed individuality can merge into the larger field of human and world opportunity.

Sometimes, you count. Other times, it's what you give that counts.

Physical death is not the worst thing that can overcome a human being.

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