But, I do protest too much.
I protest at ideals raped, ideas that sound and are beautiful held up to contempt by those who should not be doing so, by those who say they hold them better than I do.
I am no believer, but, I feel for this lady that wrote here.
In truth, I am a naïve, un-serious dreamer. Yet, if I am never to dream, who will dream for me.
I feel for this lady.
It is simply not possible, having read the papers or watched the news over the past couple of weeks, to stick with the programme. Like many of my generation, I could hardly be described as a good, or even decent, Catholic, but I'd managed to hang on in there, in the vaguest way imaginable.
Vague because it's hard to pay lip-service to a faith that you feel hates you; a faith that would rather let you die in childbirth than have an abortion, won't let you take the contraception necessary to prevent said abortion, hates gay people despite having many homosexual priests; a faith that talks ignorant nonsense about HIV and Aids, that would rather watch people die in Africa than let them use a condom; a faith that is unbelievably slow to say sorry about the fact that some of its members are habitual rapists of children.
I mean, you know, at some point you just give up. Not one of these things is defensible taken individually. Collectively, they are beyond comprehension.
A faith based on central authority and infallibility must understand that failure immediately to condemn the rape of children — in Ireland, in America, in Austria, in Germany, in Italy, Spain, Switzerland, the Netherlands and Brazil, so far — is essentially to allow it.
The Irish may have got a letter from the Pope last week, but it's a pitiful drop in an ocean that has turned into a cesspool.
Do I protest too much?
People see me as a stereotype. Gay, thus evil. I am sensitive to it. Of course, I use that very same stereotype to hide what I am, fearful that others will condemn me. So, like other gay people, I tend to re-inforce it. I may be evil of course. It is funny that there is no real consensus about that.
But, I still feel for that lady. Betrayed, looking at life with a bitter eye, asking myself, where can I anchor myself?
Religion? Ha, god forbid!
PS. By the way, I don't think I am going to celebrate Orombi putting his hand on any petition that condemns the bill like Desmond Tutu did.
Kind of disappointed. And, wondering how that prank came to be played…. Was a good one, and, it did slip my radar.
The previous post will remain, a reminder, and portent.
I am gay. Of course I am.
I may not be evil- but, I am certainly not perfect. Of course I can do better. But, why not remind myself of the falls as well as the moments of glory? I will not hide, like the Catholic church is doing. I lose nothing by claiming I am human. Actually strengthens me. For the church, the view is that it 'weakens' them. How un-Christ-like!