Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Kenny the Nigerian; Forced Outing

Something we all are at risk of.

Came across this in my browsing. Was actually posted on Kehinde Bademosi's Facebook page., as his own harrowing account of what happened when he was outed. By his ex-wife. A woman scorned? 

Kenny shared on how his ex-wife of six years believed God would heal him and convert him to a heterosexual man even when she knew his orientation before they got married.

Sigh..... We dont scorn you. We are just not made like you want us to be.
my wife had been to Abuja to tell them I was a pervert and had no moral standard to teach the youth how to develop their talents. In theory, when I spoke, my saliva emitted millions of gay matter that could infect unsuspecting young adults.

Dude is brave. Gay, HIV positive, Nigerian, and after the disastrous outing, he dares go back to Nigeria. Well, its not a great place to be, the US these days...., even when you are African. But,...., going back to Nigeria as a Gay Nigerian?! Takes some special courage. Some very, very special courage.

Friends refused to pick my calls. Wifey had told them I was gay. Church stayed away. Jesus had told them 'touch not the unclean thing.' The advertising industry in Nigeria, where I had spent a good part of my life raising talents and developing the industry stayed far away. Cricket. Even those I had assisted finding their first jobs in the marketing communication industry. Those who are now brand managers, creative directors, account planners, strategy directors, managing directors and all those sizzling titles. Wifey had told them "Kanny is a homo."

Thats what happens when one is outed when they are gay, and African.
Its hard at this time to actually know that actually, it is the world that is turning against you that is wrong. That you, in the wisdom of the creator, are who and what you are. And, you have been what you were supposed to be. And, wonderful as the creator thought you to be, you are still wonderful. You are being the best that you should be, acknowledging yourself, being true to you. Queer, and African. Yourself. Being any less is insult, to you.

The rub is, it is like you are smeared in shit, as Kenny so eloquently puts it, smeared in your own shit, with no fancy vacuum to whisk off the whiff of corruption.
You travel such a long distance in this life, achieve so much, fly high. Unlike others around you, once you are out, you have no suction device to hide your shit as a gay person. No support system. Just you. So your shit keeps falling from the sky, tearing through roofs. Then people continue to talk. How come you are like this? How come your wife is leaving you? How come you are still single? Didn't the Bible condemn that shit? How come, how come? 
And, all of this we live and learn to hide. How can we be who we are without this rubbing off on us?

Will come to be that Queer Africans are some of the bravest people on earth. Queer Humans anyway. Because it is so damn hard getting to a place of real maturity, that I cannot blame those who do fall on the way. And those who deny themselves, in frantic quest to be who they cannot be, someone else. Those who seek absolution from deities, and the promises of the falsest of prophets.

It is a struggle, from the point you realise your differences, with the whole world. It is a.....

Yeah. Words fail me.

But one thing I realise.

We shall overcome.

Because it is us...., the struggle is our lives.


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