It hurts Bad

I am unsettled.

Seriously so. Cannot concentrate. Cannot do what I want to do. Cannot vent, as I should.

I am finding myself snapping, short tempered, pouring it all on my mate.

But, it is not his fault. Ha ha ha..... Poor partner. He doesn't even know that it is not his fault that I seem all smiles but cannot settle and be happy.

It is a very beautiful day.

Woke up to a bright sun, and light washing everywhere. Should lift the spirits, that. The previous days have been a bit dull. Not dull enough to dampen my spirits..... well, damp does not do that to me. Lifts them up rather.

And, yesterday, I walked home. It was a day of beauty. Yep, my dad and mom don't live together. But, since I did grow up with my mom, where she is is the place I call home. So, I walked the five or so kilometres in beautiful afternoon sunshine. Was warm, pleasantly so. I loved it.

Got home to find mom there. Lady was happy to see me. As always. Bet you moms are always like so. At least, mine is. She has been trying to cajole me into a visit. But, am always busy, and I didn't expect her to be home. She had got her Christmas break from work. And, was happy to see me at last. Spent a pleasant few hours together.

And, I walked home, to our place, in the evening. Beautiful time.

No. That was not the cause of my bad mood.

See, with the end of the year comes the need to celebrate the time we met. Me and my partner. He is hugely into the significance of celebrating anniversaries and big days. Not a big deal for me, but, he finds it important. And, I find it important with him.

So, he has been busy working on that. Making a guest list, settling who will be doing what and when. I have been very busy too. Trying to stay under the radar, dodging the inevitable chores....! Hey, I never, ever intimated that I am an angel. And, chores for a party are the most boring thing on earth. I certify that!

This will be the tenth anniversary.

And, because of that, he determined to include our relatives. We discussed who. I thought one of my sisters may do. Well, I am not sure that she would. And, one of my brothers.... maybe....!

So, the other day, partner rings up my sister, and goes to extend the invitation. It is our big day, and we do want her there. If she would. [Why not me? When she is my sister.... I admit. I am a coward!]

. Fact is, they are chummy together, this sis and my mate.

So, he makes an appointment to see her. He goes and talks to her. Explains why we would be honoured by her presence. She listened to him. Promised to tell him her decision....

Red herring? When he told me, I thought maybe she wanted to consult my mom about it.

Anyway, coming home, I found my lover. He showed me a text message from her.

Sorry. Not able to attend. They (who are they, I wonder), they love us, but think that we are living in sin. They are saved (Pentecostals), and cannot attend when they....

I don't remember the rest of it. Hope you get the gist.

I was boiling. Kept quiet. Immediately afterwards, told my lover that I would ask my mom. I felt a raw wound. Would she reject me also? She is my mom, I told my lover. She cannot say no.

Went to bed angry. Desolate, devastated. Why does it matter so much? Why is it such a big deal? I have lived with him ten solid years. We are happy. Why do we need this seal of approval? This tiny little thing to be done, one of my sisters, one of my relatives accepting me for what I am, and coming to celebrate with me a significant event, the day I met and since been with my life mate? Why?

I guess I bottle up too much emotion.

Had to come out. Was not allowing me to concentrate, to do work as is necessary. I knew what was making me mad, and what has made me snap at my lover, my mate, almost bringing him to tears. I know, don't know why, I don't know why it bloody matters.

But, it does.

Yes. I feel devastated. I feel alone. That has emphasized it for me. What do my brothers, my sisters, behind the façade of 'acceptance' what do they really think of me? Of my mate?

Yes. It profits me nothing to speculate. Maybe, pouring out these thoughts on this piece of paper, posting them out there in cyberspace will help. After all, that is what the blog is for. To air my frustrations and hurt, my bewilderment with my world.

I am not perfect. I don't think I will ever be. Neither are my people, my relatives. But, heavens. It hurts. Rejection hurts to the highest heaven.

Am I ready to face a mother's rejection too? She knows I am gay. Knows my lover. Would she, will she reject me too? Should I give her the chance to do so? To say yes or no?

Would I be able to stomach a no? Even if the reason is her faith, or whatever other excuse it might be?

Gosh. It hurts. It hurts bad.

gug

Right, Wrong.

Who ever thinks that they have the market on what is supposed to be right?

On right and wrong?

Not me, certainly.

Pensive mood. What has brought it about?

Well, my lover is into preparing for a party. Budgeting, crossing out, budgeting again. He wants to talk to me, and I am bored. I simply, honestly cant keep up with all the details. They are beyond my poor brain. I do have my gifts. And, they do not include the details and dedication of preparing for my own party. I would rather let it go. That is sacrilege.... according to him.

Now, here he comes again... asking for my input. My poor input. A yes, a nod of the head.....!

But, truly, I have been having a long walk.

Got off work late. Decided a walk home would be right.

Beautiful country, Uganda. Kampala. Saw the forecast, the lows of 18C predicted. And, indeed, I was feeling a chill to the skin as I walked the roads. Dark, patches of light from security lights here and there. Puddles of water on the roads. Recent rains... maybe.

Some are due to burst pipes, and sewers..., waste water into the street. Have to step carefully.

Not as many vehicles as usual, it is Christmas week. And, I am one of the few who have to work during this holiday time.

I thought about the irony of that, and then saw some street sweepers. Women.

Yep. I couldn't help but feel that my lot in life is much, much better than quite a few others.

I was walking home, to a brightly lit home, partner, TV, a warm meal straight off the stove. They were just starting the job of sweeping the streets of Kampala for another day. Come morning, the filth of the city will be that much less. Not perfectly clean... no, that would be an impossible dream, even in my world of ideals. But, they do a job of it. And, it takes them half the night, if not the whole of it.

My heart did go out to them. It is a soft thing, sways by the vagaries of the lightest of winds.

I do have to remember that I am the product of a very harsh environment. Pity is sheer luxury. And, it is demeaning. Those people that I see, they are survivors. And, they are doing what they can to make sure that they are winners.

So am I. In a way.

But, it does put my concerns in perspective. A harsh light.

The radio waves today have been full of the details (or lack of them), of the latest saga in the Pastor Wars. Frankly, I cannot even follow the twists and turns. I do know that Ssempa, Male and co are having to battle with prosecution. And that they are reveling in the chance to talk more, and more, and more. To smear dear fellow Christian and Pastor Robert Kayanja... the one they accuse of sodomy.

Fact is, from a very human point of view, Ssempa is a very nasty human being. Very. How he comes to be called Christian, me who is a non-Christian find kind of flabbergasting. It may be the charisma. It certainly is not the intelligence, as the 'eat da poo poo' monica has so ably shown. Nor is it from any compassion. This man of god, [I have heard this with my own ears], is in a smear campaign that would do a political campaign justice. See, the media love him. Very quotable. He had run away, but now he is forced back. And this gift continues to give.

What has he been doing? Well, insinuating. Fellow Christian, and Pentecostal Pastor Robert Kayanja is smuggler, thief, sodomite, guilty of bribery.... and other things. Surely....!

But, yes, that is Pastor Martin 'eat da poo poo' Ssempa. A truly nasty human being.

Don't forget that, in this instance, Ssempa is being accused of having actually bribed some people to say that Kayanja sodomised them. Imagine if the Bill had been law. Kayanja would be behind prison doors. Because of the accusations. Guilty, till proven innocent. Because he was accused, and by Martin Ssempa.

Why does he come to my thoughts? Just that, this gentleman believes that he has the blueprint to the lives of others. Oh yes. He is a pretty good politician. And, very bad, exceptionally evil man of god. And, that is from a non-believer.

Do I have the right to order around Ssempa's life?

Certainly not. Why would I want such a burden? I have all I can do to live my very own life. So, I will look at the Muslim-Christian fighting in Nigeria and mourn, the threats against Christians in Pakistan and Iraq with a shake of my head, and rejoice in the fact that Sir Elton John and his partner now have a son. Born on Christmas day from a surrogate mother.

In my own world, I can control a few things. I fail to control many others. And, I have absolutely no control on most that I would wish to control. But, I will be what I am. A human being.

Have a wonderful end to this lovely year.

gug

David Bahati, Influential Ugandan.

The Ten Most Influential Persons in Uganda in 2010 are....

I got this link over at the Throckmorton blog. For me, David Bahati ranked much higher than what is given. But, I am not the whole of Uganda....!

What struck me most is the analysis. Yes, it is true that most Ugandans in Uganda would disagree. Both with the ranking, (saying, surely the guy was not that important!), and with the analysis. Most Ugandans are homophobic. In a blind, ignorant way. Bahati was stating pure truth, according to most. So they are surprised that the world disgrees... and, are sometimes quick to play up the 'sovereign' card. Uganda should be allowed to kill off her homosexuals.

For me, the analysis is spot on. Though, again I believe that poor Bahati was a very willing pawn. An unheard of MP for a constituency that is one of the poorest in Uganda, forced himself to the attention of Ugandans, and the world at large. And, the deserts he reaps here are as deserved as his bigotry is unquestioned.

#7 MP David Bahati

Late in 2009, a Member of Parliament, David Bahati presented the Anti- Homosexual Bill as a Private Members bill which would classify "aggravated homosexuality" as a capital offence.

The bill would punish people guilty of having gay sex with a minor, a disabled person or infects another person with HIV through homosexual intercourse with the death penalty. Other offences include promoting homosexuality, aiding and abetting homosexuality and keeping a house "for purposes of homosexuality". Bahati claims his bill would protect children, youths and the "traditional family".

While the controversy surrounding the bill began in 2009, it was not until 2010 that the bill and its author made worldwide headlines. In January, Ugandan priest Martin Ssempa gave his now infamous "Eat da Poo Poo" speech, a tasteless tirade against the gay lifestyle where he showed pornographic images to the press and people present.

The video has now been viewed over 3.6 million times on YouTube. And a musical remix of the video has been viewed almost one million times.

Then in October, Rolling Stone newspaper published "100 Pictures of Uganda's Top Homos Leak" on its front page. The paper was later forced to halt publication of such articles by a court.

All of these actions were spawned by the actions of one man, David Bahati. Homosexuality is already illegal in Uganda. But by introducing his bill and suggesting "death" as an appropriate action against homosexuality, Bahati has spurned a misguided hatred in the Ugandan population based on lies and ignorance on the subject and endangered the lives and safety of Uganda's gay community. His influence is unquestioned but so is his bigotry.

Come to think of it, Museveni would disagree with the ranking. It is not often that he receives a phone call from the US Secretary of State about a bill that is in the parliament of the Republic of Uganda. LOL, the Pres would rank Honourable Bahati much higher than he is ranked here!

And, as an afternote, the director of Public Prosecutions seems to believe that Ssempa and the other pastors do have a case to answer... in the matter of trying to outshout each other as to Pastor Robert Kayanja being gay..... or homosexual, or 'sodomising children'... or whatever the accusations were in the middle of this year. The Pastor Wars, I called them. Here is the Monitor article. That saga seems to be ongoing. We watch from the sidelines....

gug

After Christmas

I have had a beautiful holiday season.

Don't know, but I have appreciated the time more than many other Christmas seasons. Maybe it is the fact that I am more in touch with myself. Feeling, knowing more of who I am.

The Christmas of 2009, I was embroiled in the fight against the Anti-Homosexuality Bill. It was all consuming for me. No wonder, like a candle that burns too close, I burnt out, gutted. Nearly flickered out.

Now, it is the end of an eventful year. And, I am still here to blog and write of the things which interest me.

I am at home. In our backyard.

My husband is doing some housework. Yep, well, I should be with him. But, I am not. A comfortable relationship, ours. Yesterday, early this morning, we were in a bar dancing, holding one another close.

It is true.

And, it is in the only place which, at a certain point in time, turns into a truly gay bar. There was this amazed guy, straight, who seemed to have been there for the first time. Couldnt believe that we were there. We, as in gay people, gay Ugandans. Was one guy, trans I believe, who looked the African man's dream of beauty in a woman. But, one could see that he was not female. The straight guy went and asked to sleep with him. Offered him money....

Sportingly, the other agreed. And they decided on the price.....!

The straight guy, he was just trying to figure us out. Such a proposition can lead to a fight. Usually does. But, not at the bar, our bar. Not at that particular time. And, if it wasnt for the fact that it was obvious that he was faking the pass, trying to figure out whether it was true that the other guy was gay, and, maybe if the guy had liked him, the deal would have been good!

Anyway, he got into a conversation with my mate. Poured out his amazement, bewilderment at what was happening. And, would not believe that the people in the bar are gay. Well, this is Uganda! He later saw a trio of wickedly dressed women. Couldnt mistake them for men. They were talking together, and, very macho, he expressed his interest. Very confident that they would fall for his manly wiles.

Unfortunately... or fortunately, they were lesbians. They looked at him with surprised shock on their faces. Snubbed him in a way that should have caused a fight.... Ha ha ha.... men are not used to blank rejection like that.

Anyway, guy was cool. My mate told him that they were lesbians. Not in English, since they were talking one of the local languages. He told him that one of them was a man and the other a woman. He was too incredulous to think my man was telling the truth. Stupid. I was there holding him, caressing him all the time. He should have realised we were also gay.... but, we are sometimes too 'straight acting'! We are Ugandans. The camouflage is a necessary part of our existence.

Came home late, to bed, and woke up to holding him, making love. And now, am seated in the backyard. He does some housework. Domestic bliss.

Near us is my brothers house. One of the many sons of my father.

During this year, his perfect marriage has unravelled like a piece of old cloth. Thread by thread.

It has been painful to watch.

He is not a rich man, and had created his dream. Wife, four sons. All small, growing, a young family. But, by the end of the year, it is unravelled. The different pieces are scattered across the country. Literally.

Christmas day, I invited him for lunch. He declined to join us. But took the food we sent.

His dream has unravelled. And, he is feeling the pain. Not willing to face us, perhaps.

My brother, the elder brother, the one who is a pentecostal pastor, the one to whom I made the trek to come out; he has taken this year to try to convince me to get back to the fold. To become a Christian again. Or to forget that I am a homosexual. To him, it seems the two things are one, the same.

And, in some of the messages to me, he has been telling me that I can still have a woman, and have children. Because that is what he believes is God's will for me.

Nope. I am not comparing my gay marriage to that of my straight brother's marriage that has unravelled.

We are human beings. Despite the fact that we are gay. Just human. I have to remind myself of that.

Because, marriage is a tough thing. Not even children are a sufficient enough glue. And, I have to remember that. We two guys are gay, and 'married' in Uganda, and are still together because we somehow manage to beat the odds. Not many other kuchus have been able to do that. And, my straight friends also find problems.

So, why do gay people fight for gay marriage?

Actually, it is very simple. We are human beings. We demand the right, our right, like other human beings, to make the same stupid, silly mistakes that our straight counterparts make in marriage. Its as simple as that. We do resent the fact that our straight compatriots believe they have the right to make that decision for us. Why the hell should they?!

I could have been forced into a straight marriage. My Dad still hopes for that day... he hasnt yet given me another not so subtle hint this month, come to think of it.

My mom accepts my lover. Beautiful relationship there. I think they gossip about me a lot. I suspect she finds him easy to talk to... easier than her son... Hey, I am jealousy!

The year is ending.

My lover calls me in for tea. I will go. End here. Hope you are having some very good and happy holidays, with friends and family

gug

Pastor Wars... Another Round in Extra-ordinary Uganda

Frankly, I do not know what to make of the weather in Kampala this morning.

Yesterday it rained. In the morning. Afternoon it was hot. A sultry heat.

But now, it is cold. A cold, dull front has moved in, the sky is a dirty, dull, grey and there is smog. Too many cars, the whole day, and too little wind in the night. Yes. It is smog.

No. I don't know what to make of the weather today.

And, it is no reflection on my mood. Because, I do know what to make of the stories of the pastor wars....

I saw a snippet of the news on the television last night. But, you know, gay stories are so old news in Uganda. And, I was frankly too busy doing too many other things. But, today, waking up, someone had posted it somewhere I couldnt fail to notice.

I love the New Vision article headline.

Sodomy case: Pastor Male arrested, Sempa flees.

The article is juicy. Here.

PASTOR Solomon Male of Arise for Christ Ministry was arrested yesterday over reports that Pastor Robert Kayanja sodomised young boys.

Plain clothes detectives stormed Male's office on the second floor of Span House in Kampala at around 1:30pm and asked him to go with them to Central Police Station (CPS).

Male's pleas that he was busy attending to his clients, who needed counselling services, fell on deaf ears.

He was later driven to CPS in a Saloon car with private registration numbers.

At CPS, the detectives informed Male that he was heading to Buganda Road Court to be charged. That is when he demanded to notify his lawyers.

His arrest followed advice from the Directorate of Public Prosecution that Male, together with seven others, be charged for reportedly making false allegations against Pastor Robert Kayanja.

In a letter to the director of the Criminal Investigations Department (CID), principal state attorney Margaret Nakigudde said pastors Male, Martin Ssempa, Bob Kayira, Michael Kyazze, their lawyers, Henry Ddungu and David Kaggwa, together with David Mukalazi and Deborah Kyomuhendo face charges of conspiring to injure Pastor Kayanja's reputation.

The two lawyers were included for allegedly commissioning false affidavits.

Nakigudde said four sodomy files opened against Kayanja at CPS were closed for lack of evidence to warrant prosecution, and that Robson Matovu, together with all the alleged sodomy victims were medically examined but no evidence of anal penetration was found.

Now, now, now...

I have no proof either way. I don't know whether Robert Kayanja is gay. People ask, like I should know, because I am gay. How would I know?

He says he isnt. And, I have no reason to doubt him.

What I do know is that Solomon Male has been accusing him of being gay since I don't know when. Now, in Uganda, when Male is joined by Ssempa, then that is the only proof that is necessary. They are the authorities on gay things. The gospel according to Ugandans. Except that Robert Kayanja is also a big fish in the pond. And, he might have gotten tired of the constant sniping.

Yes, I do hope it is not an Oscar Wilde situation.

But, he has turned the tables on them very nicely. And, I hope he keeps up the pressure.. though it is the stigmatizing type for me.. You see, he is contending that they are maligning him that he is gay. I don't think it is malice... because I am gay. But, you know.....! The enemy of my enemy...!

The story from the Monitor, which, yes, tends to be more accurate! Fact. New Vision is nothing more that a parrot for the government... which again must mean that someone is seriously falling out of synch with his political connections. I mean Ssempa.

City advocate Henry Ddungu and pastor Moses Solomon Male were yesterday detained over alleged conspiracy to injure the reputation of Pastor Robert Kayanja of Rubaga Miracle Centre Cathedral, Kampala.

Six others were also charged. They are pastors Bob Robert Kayiira, Michael Kyazze and Martin Sempa, advocate David Kaggwa, Ms Deborah Kyomuhendo and Mr David Mukalazi.

Pastor Male and Mr Ddungu, who were slated to appear before Buganda Road Magistrate Court for plea, were taken back to police custody but were later released on police bond.

"We have been released but asked to go back to the Special Investigations unit (today)," said Pator Male. Pastors Kayiira and Kyazze of Omega Healing Ministries are facing charges of alleged criminal trespass and conspiracy to commit a misdemeanour before Mwanga II Magistrates Court.

Meanwhile, Pastor Sempa is accused of hiring Robson Matovu to blackmail Pastor Kayanja. Court heard that Pastor Male reportedly gave Mr Matovu a signed and stamped affidavit implicating Pastor Kayanja while Samson Mukisa was reportedly promised necessities on condition that he would speak publicly on how Pastor Kayanja had sodomised him.

A police report indicates that complaints of sodomy against Pastor Kayanja did not reveal any evidence the offences. "In retracting their statements, the complainants said they had been mobilised to make false accusations against Pastor Kayanja in order to tarnish his name," reads a report

Hmmmm!

Of those things, I do have no problem with what I feel.

There is one other thing. The so-called gay agenda. In Uganda, we are accused of 'recruiting' children, wanting to make the whole world homosexual. The likes of Buturo etc believe in these things without a doubt, with the fervour of a religion. Is there a gay agenda?

Well, I have never known one... though I am also accused of recruiting. On this blog, of course.

But, Barney Frank, who was wiping away tears, of emotion I believe, as Obama signed the repeal of DADT yesterday, articulated it in words that I find heart warming.

Hear, all of you. This is the real Gay Agenda.

Barney Frank reflected on fears that the so-called radical homosexual agenda would be enacted if Rep. Nancy Pelosi became House speaker.

The gay agenda, Frank said in a press conference Wednesday, is "to be protected against violent crimes driven by bigotry, it's to be able to get married, it's to be able to get a job, and it's to be able to fight for our country. For those who are worried about the radical homosexual agenda, let me put them on notice. Two down, two to go."

Now, if I was Buturo, I would be shaking in my shoes.... Shaking, shaking, here come the homosexual agenda, to takeover Uganda!

Have a lovely Christmas!

gug

Death to the Gay

Why do our countries hold us in such contempt?

Us, as in gay people. Why do they think that we are so bad?

It is a matter of fact that, in some Arab and African countries, gay people are mandated the death penalty. By law. Few people dispute that, because it is simple matter of fact.

Then, there is this almost meaningless, once in a couple of years, resolution, which condemns extra judicial killing of people.

There are many cartegories of people that are on the resolution, which, like many UN resolutions, is nothing more than words on paper.

But, African and Arab countries led the removal of those words from the resolution. Words specifying sexual orientation. They cry about the imposition of 'western imperialism'. They complain that we, as in me, gug, we are sell outs. They complain about our rights not tramping their sovereignty..,

Why do they hold our lives, my life as a gay human being, so much in contempt?

Recurrent argument I have been having with Comrade 27^th. How can you, my brothers and sisters, expect me to be more 'patriotic' than you? When that patriotism means that you want me in prison, and even expect me to die bravely, in the name of culture and 'sovereignty? Surely, there would be something wrong with me for me to lie down and accept such a state of affairs?

Well, I do affirm, I am gay, and I am proud.

And, for the results of that resolution, I roundly applaud the US government which came out and showed real leadership. Yes, it does help for us to have some friends in high places, including a strong gay lobby in the western world. Because, my own brothers and sisters would rather see me die, and kept in prison, than that I live and stay alive.

Western delegations were disappointed last month when the U.N. General Assembly's human rights committee approved an Arab and African proposal to cut the reference to slayings due to sexual orientation from a resolution on extrajudicial, summary and arbitrary executions.

The committee's move also had outraged human rights activists and groups that lobby for gay rights. Philippe Bolopion of Human Rights Watch (HRW) said at the time that it was a "step backwards" and "extremely disappointing."

The 192-nation General Assembly approved a U.S. amendment to the resolution that restored the reference to sexual orientation with 93 votes in favor, 55 against and 27 abstentions. The amended resolution was then adopted with 122 yes votes, none against and 59 abstentions.

The main opposition to the U.S. amendment came from Muslim and African nations, which had led the push to delete the reference to sexual preference from the resolution last month.

The General Assembly passes resolutions condemning extrajudicial, summary and arbitrary executions and other killings every two years. The 2008 declaration had included an explicit reference to killings committed because of the victims' sexual preferences.

In addition to slayings over sexual orientation, the resolution specifies many other types of violence -- killings for racial, national, ethnic, religious or linguistic reasons and killings of refugees, indigenous people and other groups.

ZIMBABWE: "ABHORRENT"

Prior to the vote, Zimbabwe's U.N. Ambassador Chitsaka Chipaziwa slammed the U.S. amendment, saying there was no need to refer explicitly to sexual orientation.

"We will not have it foisted on us," he said. "We cannot accept this, especially if it entails accepting such practices as bestiality, pedophilia and those other practices many societies would find abhorrent in their value systems.

Why, why, Africa, motherland, do your children hate me so much?

Rhetorical question. I will not bother myself with seeking answers to that. I am a soldier in the frontline. I will leave the reasoning to the academics. What is for me is that, a major victory has been won. And, despite the angry opposition, the shouts of 'traitor', 'imperialism', 'patriotism', and 'africanism'... I am happy that life goes on.

It was a major victory. And, thanks to the US allies. And, the Obama administration.

We continue to fight.

gug

Holidays...

Its evening.

Seated. Our living room.

Bicycle boda man brings crates. Beer. Soda. In preparation for the big day.

For partner, it would not be a day without the requisite celebrations. So, a 'Christmas tree' is already bedecked with jewelery. More lights and glinting pieces than the green, I see.

I never put it up. Because it is not necessary. He will put it up when the time's right. And, he will put it back when it is right.

Why is it that I never notice these things?

Different people. Different interests. Is always funny that we are so different, and so compatible. We shouldnt be. Conventionally speaking. But, we are. Opposites, attracted, and staying together.

Which reminds me that it will soon be ten years. And, another celebration to prepare for.

But now, it is evening.

I am seated in the couch, feeling dusk descend to the valley I call home. It is quiet.

At one of the neighbours is a children's home. They practice dance, dramas, and it is in the evenings that the drums open up.

Their noise barely disturbs the silence of the day. It is a quiet evening.

The day has been very hot. Hot, dry, dusty. The dry season is really setting in. Yes, the morning was overcast. But, that was no longer the case later in the day. The sun was out by midmorning. And, it was hot, and windy in the afternoon. Hot enough for me to enjoy a good walk and come home sweaty and sated with exercise.

Evening, I didnt want to go out like I usually do. I am at peace, with myself, with the world all around me. I am feeling increadibly calm. Life, as the advert goes, is good.

So, let me take a detour around the cyberspace and come up with some laughs.

First is this. A look at our desire for marriage. Gay people wanting to tie the note. Why, and why not. Its pretty silly, and funny, and nice all in a very commonsensical way.

Even at this much lower-pitched occasion, everything in me screamed: "Why are you copying the heterosexuals when we've all made such a mess of things?" You had lives devoid of antenuptial contracts, estate Volvos, children who needed expensive dental treatment, mortgages, divorce and horrible old faithfulness - well that is if the writer Edmund White is anything to go by.

Now the new promiscuity, and I am talking gay males, is getting married. Like Elizabeth Taylor, you sleep with someone you marry him. Gay men can't wait to swear to faithfulness. They meet on Monday and marry on Saturday, so enticing is the thought of the metaphorical meringue frock.

Here's a strange thing: straight males about to marry women are often frightened. Commitment is such a wonky companion. They say: "Do you think I should really go through with this?"

They finger their antenuptial contracts and discuss with lawyers who will get the holiday house should the marriage dissolve. I have a close male friend who has been engaged for 40 years but cannot make the jump into marriage.

However, talking to gay men I encountered an enthralment and desire, a great longing to walk down an aisle.

Fitting.

Why am I with my partner? Hell, simple. Because, I am a human being and I desire all the conforts of that state. Why have we been together for so long? Well, the counter to that is, why not?

What about tying the note and walking down some aisle? Well, that would need some very serious negotiations. Aka the heterosexuals in the above article.

Here is another very thoughtful post on gay equality. Yes. It is not gay rights. Gay Equality, looking at DADT and its broader contexts in a world of interesting insights. I will not pick and choose a quote. Just point you to the article and analysis. http://www.juancole.com/2010/12/senate-repeal-of-dadt-in-global-context.html Thought is a good thing. Critical thinking is something that most of us are denied.

I came across the article of the Deputy Speaker of the UK Parliament who has come out as gay.http://news.scotsman.com/news/Tory-MP-set-to-admit.6665380.jp Wow. Good for the guy. Others say it may be for the wrong reasons. But, at the same time, I always think of coming out as an intensely personal thing. I will never be able to judge when one should come out, and when they should not. One could almost say that this whole blog is a long coming out process.

And last, to dear Honourable Nsaba-Buturo.

He is on his last legs as a member of parliament for the ruling party. He may come back as an independent. But, what is amusing me is his escalation of his moral campaign. The Morality police is back, out in force.

First of course, he is always after the homosexuals. His legal prey.... that is a given, in Ugandan. Google Nsaba-Buturo, and you will almost certainly come across his many anti-gay statements. So, maybe the latest tiff with the Human Rights Commission in Uganda is not such a big deal. What is a big deal is the fact that people are not taking it as quietly as they take other things. Like frank 'Hang them'... The Sunday Vision is the government mouthpiece. The fact that this letter came out is an indication that some toes are sore... in more than one way. 

More interesting is this article-

THURSDAY last week, Club Silk's Pole dancing did not take place. Snoops can now reveal that management heard that state minister for ethics and integrity, James Nsaba Buturo was expected to storm in and cause the arrest of several people.

Apparently, it is said that the minister sent to the club his scouts last month who confirmed that action was needed. Management says the club is taking a break and when it resumes, entrance fee will be hiked.

Hey, people do have strip shows in Kampala. We wait for the Buturo's to go to sleep....

Seriously, these things happen. And, see the reaction to Buturo's moralising? He sends in scouts... spies. [Duh, it is always in the papers, the 'news' about pole dancing and strip shows.... yes, strip shows... duh] So, why is he sending in his 'spies' now? He sends them in. They hear of it, and tone down for a few days... and soon it will be back to 'normal'. Oh, if it was homosexuals....!

Uh, Demented Buturo...

He is actually a comedian. Bad one... but, has served up a few laughs in his own way...

Here is to wishing you continued holiday cheer

gug

Don't Ask. Don't Tell.

The day is beautiful here.

Been in bed, holding the man I love. We made beautiful love, and held on afterwards. Left him there, suddenly restless, drawn to the computer, and cyberworld.

It is a blessing, and a craving, a release, and a hunger to satisfy. The need to connect with people far and near, to share my day, and learn of the things that have happened with them.

In the shade of trees, with hard bright, golden sunshine promising a very hot day.... hot by Ugandan standards, not unreasonably unconfortable, I learnt that the odious law, DADT has been repealed.

Seventeen years it held sway.

And, it is down. It is gone. It is history.

Dinosaurs like Senator McCain may feel it is the end of an era, and the beginning of the end. Armageddon unleashed. Their right. It is their country. They are the elected representatives of their people.

But, and a huge but, I join with other American friends in rejoicing over the repeal of this odious, and stupid piece of legislation. To me it is nothing but a symbol. A big one. Of the lack of respect, of the disparagement that other people may have of me, simply because I am gay.

I mean. Look at it this way. Because one is gay, they cannot serve in defence of their country? They cannot do that? Gosh, it was more than a symbol. It was an insult in the face of gay Americans. A calculated, in your face insult that they had to stomach. For 17 years. And, I am ecstatic that this dinosaur act has been repealed.

True. I do live in Uganda. And, in Uganda, our legislators are quite happy to put in place laws which would kill us because we are gay and HIV positive. Or because we make love, like I did this morning with my partner of almost ten years.... we are 'serial offenders'. And, our religious leaders want us exiled on islands so that we die out.

Yes, I do live in a country that has open, rabid contempt for people like me.

But, I will not fail to find it a joy that DADT has been repealed. That Obama has been handed a political victory. That my gay friends in the US have got one of their most dearly sought political victories.

It was, and still is, a symbol of the contempt. That one cannot serve their country, because they are not of the straight sexual orientation.

I feel it everyday when Martin 'eat da poo poo' Ssempa remarks sneeringly that we should get out of our country. Yes, that we should get asylum and leave our country, because the Anti-Homosexuality Bill is going to become law. When Buturo sneers and says, 'Homosexuals have no Human Rights' and he tells us, get out of the country.

It is a symbol. And, it is a victory.

Conglatulations to all our American gay and lesbian brothers and Sisters. It was a long journey, it was a long war. It was well fought. I know, their were victims and casualties. Read somewhere that Lieutenant Choo had a break down. Such are our fights.

But, victory has come.

And, I will pick these inspiring words from Rachel Maddow, Yes, you are my heroine, Rachel.

I will end with them here

"If something is really, honestly indefensible, it can be defeated. The people perpetrating that indefensible thing will want you to think that what they are doing is inevitable. They will want you to think that it cannot possibly be changed or fixed. That it is the way it has to be, that that is the way it's gonna be, they will want you to think those things. And it's not true. An indefensible practice or policy is, in America, vulnerable."

- Rachel Maddow

Have a very lovely Sunday. And, hope the preparations for the big day are going well.

gug

The Waves, and Making them sing

I am at ….

 

Shit. Yes, that is an expletive. Nearly did write where I am…. and, that is just not allowed. Hey, I am still who I am. Lovely, anonymous gug. Who can I be, and who can be what I cannot be?

 

Rhetorical questions. Was going through the mail, and various other bits and pieces of news. Saw the Gay Ugandan Teen vigorously defending his credentials.  Yeah man, you have to say who you are, and what you are. Somewhere on this blog, I was told I could not be Ugandan. Gay, yes, Ugandan, no…. because, [well, this is tongue in cheek], there are no gay Ugandans. After a long time making my voice heard here, not even Buturo would countenance that I do not exist. He would dearly love to shut me down… or throw me out of the country. But, I do exist.

 

Brings me a thought… on the Throckmorton blog, there is this guy called Maazi, who goes on and on…. The guy is the very epitome of what I believe dear Honourable Dr. Nsaba-Buturo would be. I have no evidence…. hey, I don't know the guy. Just that, if the blogosphere had an incarnation of the Spirit of James Nsaba Buturo, it would be Maazi on the Throckmorton blog. I am not kidding you!

 

Buturo… I have been laughing my head off. He is deciding to fight the Uganda Human Rights Commission. It is worth a laugh. The guy is a fool…. In my own demented mind of course. He is a fool. Because, me being me, I would not fight these wars that he keeps picking up.

 

Why does he do them?

 

I am not sure. He hates homosexuals with a passion. Yes, he does. And, anything that mentions homosexuality in a colour other than the darkest black is suspect. The documentary which Buturo banned was tending to white. And, that was unacceptable.

 

So, he jumps in, with his two feet. And, the commission is really riled. Yes, let them be. Because, they deserve to be reminded that, gay Ugandans are actually Ugandans. And, in the rush to step on our freedoms as human beings, the likes of Buturo and Ssempa are actually trampling on all the other freedoms of Ugandans. WE gays are a very tempting target for any bigot. And, they lash out at us. But, do remember, they lash out and trample on my human rights, they also trample on yours.

 

Welcome, dear Human Rights Defenders of Uganda. You are welcome, and we hope, with you as allies, reluctant or not, we shall fight on, and win this war. It is damned cold when we fight alone!

 

A few things to mention here. Would Jesus Discriminate?

 

In a way, standing on my own very personal side of the battle, I fail to see the bigger part of the picture. I was interested, when the Anti-Homosexuality bill came out, and suddenly, Christians were up in arms against it. That indeed caused the Churches in Uganda to step back and pause. They were in full cry, and that was a terrible thing to see. Reminded me of what it must have been like, in the years of the Spanish Inquisition. When the Church was burning people, all in the name of Christ. Anyway, they did step back. The Anglican Church, the Catholic Church in Uganda, the Seventh Day Adventists, the Ugandan Orthodox church.

 

But, not so most of the Pentecostals. Who continue to persecute us in Uganda. I know, even the others continue to persecute us. They are not as vocal as they were. Which is slightly better.

 

But, when Bahati goes to the US and lays down the word of God as he sees it, I am seeing other Christians, this time in the US, galvanized, and saying… NO. You do not represent us. And, you are the very anti-thesis of what Christ is, what Christ taught. That does warm my frozen heart. A little, shall we say?

 

Here is the article, 'Would Jesus Discriminate?'.  Someone takes on the horror of what Bahati, Buturo, Ssempa and Co mean for real Christianity. And, it is not a pretty picture.

 

Professor Matua is far more blunt. He came to Uganda. Remember the Baraza, when one MP said he would be the hangman for his son if the son was gay? Well, Matua saw the face of real hate then. And, he deals with it in Kenya. This article is very much worth reading. It is a classic of legal thought.

 

And, I am not a lawyer, nor am I Kenyan.

 

But, I dare to say, I am a Human Being. And, I laud that roar into the jungle.

 

Have a very good weekend.

 

Mine is shaping up to very good.

 

 

gug

Demented Buturo

That demented politician has a problem in his brains.

Surely! A person who believes that women who wear miniskirts cause accidents because male drivers are distracted has a serious defect in his sex life. Presumably, he was speaking from experience. I mean, he must have been distracted by the flesh on show, and that was the reason he called a press conference to utter such an absurdity.

But, now there is this saga. You do remember that the Honourable Dr. Nsaba-Buturo was once quoted saying 'Homosexuals should forget about Human Rights'? Yes?

Ok. Now, in Uganda we have the Uganda Human Rights Commission. Yes, a very toothless organ.... in many ways. But, why blame a baby for not having teeth? A baby does grow up. Anyway, the UHRC was scheduled to screen a film at the National Theatre....

You know the National Theatre. It is right downtown in Kampala, next to the Parliament buildings. This is where Ssempa's antics of showing porn were first recognised. I remember, some American students were so disturbed that some vomited... Yes, literally threw up!

Now, the Uganda Human Rights Commission was scheduled to show a film about Human Rights Defenders at the same venue. And, they found themselves blocked. By none other than the Honourable Minister of Miniskirts. Sorry, Ethics and Integrity.

But the minister accused the UHRC of trying to promote homosexuality and immorality. "The commission is now the spokesman of the people breaking the law, we did not appoint them to promote illegalities," Dr Buturo said while addressing journalists in Kampala yesterday. "Some people are determined to change the morals of our country and are using all tactics. We shall put up resistance because Uganda doesn't believe in homosexuality.".

Mr Kaggwa had earlier quoted Article 54 of the Constitution, saying the commission is independent and shall not, in performance of its duties, be subject to the direction of any authority.

But Mr Buturo said: "The rights body should support what government stands for. If UHRC ignores Uganda's interests and promotes illegal things, we shall respond appropriately."

Despite the ban on Monday, the video was shown to journalists and students on Wednesday at UHRC headquarters.

"The documentary highlights the work of human rights defenders and the challenges they face," Mr Kaggwa said.

In the film, Mr Kikonyogo Kivumbi, who is identified as the defender of minorities, disparages the Anti-Homosexuality Bill as an object to deny the rights of the minorities and allows medical practitioners to report gay patients to police.

"We are giving a very strong voice to Parliament not to pass the Bill. Uganda is committed to fighting HIV/Aids and when the minorities are threatened with arrests, they will fear to go for medication and yet it is their right," Mr Kivumbi says.

This segment seemed to have angered Dr Buturo who asked that the film be edited before it can be screened to the public.

I did say that a baby can grow teeth, with time, didnt I?

The Uganda Human Rights Commission is seriously unhappy. They are supposedly an independent body. They are supposedly charged with overseeing certain things. And, though years ago they would not touch gay Ugandans with a very long stick, they seem to have changed their minds.

And, the Minister of Miniskirts is standing in their way. They are not amused. And, they are turning up the pressure.

It will is ironic that the UHRC finds itself with teeth to really tackle human rights abuses in the country. Ironic, because it is suddenly speaking out, And for homosexual Ugandans.

Maybe it is fitting. It is.

But, I am amused, happy, interested, and continuing to watch this saga. Why? Because, it does feel good to know that I am a human being, in the eyes of people, my significant others. It is a good feeling. Oh, let me revel in it. It might not last that long....!

gug

Bahati's US trip....

It was interesting. I have wondered why he went. Its a busy time for him. He is campaigning for re-election. And here he was going off to the US for a conference that he was not going to attend, which he knew that he was not going to attend.

So, why did he go?

Well, I can speculate. But, I do not really know....

Then comes the issue of how he left the country. No. Apparently he was not booted out. Like he was told you are persona non grata. But, apparently, he was told in diplomatees that his hosts were unconfortable with his continued presence....

Oh yes... Makes me laugh. Here is the LezGetReal analysis. It was a PR trip. And, he did flunk... in my views, not in his anyway.

But, he is a politician. There is an art to denying the obvious. You know, 'I was misquoted'... 'I was mis read', 'I was mis-interpreted'. Raila Odinga, Prime Minister of Kenya is a very wonderful, recent example.

I don't think Bahati's dive into the trenches did him a service. He is too out there radical and believing in me being evil for him to be credited by his supporters publicly. Oh, they will do it behind closed doors. But, they fear to talk, and leave him to founder and speak for the Christianity that he believes in.... Uh! It is a horrible farce. A very horrible farce. And, some of our allies are taking the war straight to his sponsors, calling them out for what they are. Sponsors of genocide.

Oh yes, I do believe that my death, even when legislated by Bahati and my country, Uganda, would still be the death of a human being. I am a Ugandan, and I believe that I do have the same right to life as does Honourable Bahati. His right does not pass mine.

I am supremely aware that he said that, because I am a sinner, and the wages of sin is death, then, legislated death is okay for me. [Shhhhhh. I had forgotten. I am NOT a Christian. Shhhh, shhhh.]. And, that, even though I am a Ugandan, in Uganda, homosexuals have no human rights.... in Honourable Bahati, and Honourable Nsaba-Buturo's views.

Shrug.

It is exhilarating. Fighting, winning. Even when the wins are few and far between. It is exhilarating. I bet you, Bahati, Buturo, they will never be blessed with my appreciation of the beauty and wonderfulness of life, living and being alive in my country, in Uganda. It is a visceral sensation, abiding, strong, invigorating. Energising.

It is my blessing, as a gay Ugandan, a gay African.

I will look on as others take the battle to my enemies across the waters. Because, they are my enemies. And, I will cheer them on. When they speak, when they hit out at those who fund and host the likes of Bahati and Buturo and Ssempa . Others are fighting against the same kind of radicalization which the world finds in Osama bin Laddens view of Islam. And, they are right to be worried. Because, if they do not take in hand people like Ssempa, Bahati, Buturo..., and, Solomon Male, their own take of the brand of Christianity is going to go to hell. Literally. Here are some quotes from Bahati's interview with Rachel Maddow.

Bahati explained that homosexuality is not a human right in Uganda, and claimed that his bill will defend the children and the families of Uganda. When Maddow questioned him about how the bill would defend children and the family, he said that foreigners are recruiting Ugandan children into homosexuality. He said that God created man and woman for marriage and procreation and that homosexuals defile children.

Lies About Gays and Punishment For Their Existence = Love.

He also claimed that he "loves" gay people but must protect children who are "recruited" by homosexuals. He could give Maddow no credible evidence of this, but insisted that it is a fact studied by Ugandans. Bahati claimed that $15 million was spent in the last 7 months in Uganda schools to pay children to become gay.

Maddow told Bahati that the notion that "gay people are recruiting kids" is a myth that is not supported by any kind of facts. She told Bahati that if videos and evidence exists, then he should release the evidence. By the second day of the interview, no evidence was provided.

Uh, take the Blatter faux pas. On the face of it, nothing. But, I am glad he said it. Because, it gives me, and allies, the chance to make sure that, for the 24 hours that follow, the world is aware that in Qatar, we are to be re-closeted, for the duration of the world cup.

Yes, we are soldiers. And, we cannot but take any and all advantages as they are offered. It will, hopefully, remind the world that, in much of the Arab world, people like me are killed for being what we are. Very similar to Bahati's ideal world, of course. That is what we are fighting to prevent. Doesnt stop us from dealing with it!

Greetings to all and sundry.

Yes, the struggle continues. Yes, we can.

gug

Miscellaneous things.

Uh, I was going to make a very unseemly whine…. But, why ever should I?

 

Update in Kampala. Beautiful, beautiful weather. The clouds of a few days are gone, and it is hot. Hot, hot, hot. A little breeze, sweat on the skin, and the light of a bright sun splashed everywhere.

 

Christmas shopping. The crowds are out in strength, and where I am, the roar of traffic is a constant in the background. Yes, I feel good. But, have to dip a little into my inbox…..

 

Bahati believes that Homosexuals have no human rights. Well, homosexuals are not human. So, logically, no rights, yes?

 

No. I am human. Bite yourself.

 

But, Nsaba-Buturo continues the persecution, or pursuit, back home here. Just yesterday, there was supposed to be a film about working as a human rights defender in difficult circumstances. It featured homosexuals. So, of course, it was unacceptable to dear Buturo. No. I am not kidding you! Here is the link.

The programme was organised by United Nation Human Rights office of the High Commissioner (UNHR), Uganda Human Rights Commission and Human Rights Centre Uganda at the National Theatre. But when organisers arrived at the theatre, it was locked.

The UNHR representative in Uganda, Ms Birgit Gerstenberg, described the ban as a pity but said they were intending to meet Mr Buturo over the issue today. The show was aimed at highlighting what human rights defenders go through while stopping discrimination in Uganda.

Mr Buturo told Daily Monitor that the organisers refused to delete homosexual contents in the documentary. "Some people are determined to change the morals of our country and are using all tactics. We shall put up resistance because Uganda doesn't believe in homosexuality," he said, adding that 40 pupils were invited to watch the documentary.

"This is terrible. I told those people to shut up because they are supposed to defend our country," Mr Buturo said.

 

Those people were promoting homosexuality. They didn't delete what?  Sometimes it is easier to laugh at a thing like this than give a negative comment. Poor Dr. Buturo. So determined to keep Uganda clean of homosexuality! I almost find it in my mind to pity him. But, that will not stop me from hounding him. Sorry, Dr Buturo…. Sorry, sorry.

 

Someone asked me, rather incredulously, whether these guys do believe their rhetoric. They do. They actually, absolutely, unreservedly believe what they say. It is kind of amusing. Me, here in Uganda, I listen to their daily offerings, and they kind of slip off, water off a duck's back. But, they are as outrageously believing of their offerings. For many, it is not even a political ploy. Bahati, Buturo, they are true believers in the evilness of homosexuality. They believe, and the gods help you if you don't believe like they do.

Uh, was the film, They call me Kuchu?

 

I agree with this guy.

What fuels the fiery hatred that so many Christians and others harbor for gays can't be explained by pointing to the Bible alone. Clearly something more visceral is going on with that.

 

Dare I bring up the 'Recruitment' argument? Here is Religion Dispatches, talking about dear David Bahati. Bahate, as some of us have taken to calling the gentleman. 

The thrust of the argument made against gays and lesbians in this country is that "they do not reproduce, so they must recruit."

That argument against gay and lesbian rights has been quashed by medical and psychological professionals who have long studied the issue and found that no such thing happens. Gays and lesbians are who they are and no one "recruits" them to a "lifestyle." But, good propaganda never dies—it simply moves to a new location when it's no longer welcome in its old home.

 

I love the last bit of that article. What gives the author hope, she writes, is the fact that bigotry is a learned behaviour which can be unlearned. Yes, that surely is true. Amazing, amazing… Bahati believes, but, mate….!

 

Have to stop here. Long posts are supposedly anathema… but, still have more to say, tomorrow?!

 

Be well

 

 

gug

Why they persecute us.... in their own words.

Uh,

the finals of the Rolling Pebble saga were supposed to be today. They didnt materialise.... [I had problems with the date, you know, the 13^th and all that...] So, I am happy that it is now going to be the 15^th. Don't really know what the fuss is about. But, welcome the opportunity.... [touch wood]! The finals, like in the final rulling on the Rolling pebble saga.

Hey, there is a new, relatively, gay ugandan blogger around. He is the Gay Ugandan teen. Love his thoughts. He is dissecting the Rachel Maddow, David Bahati interview. Worth reading... Hey, even Ugandan teens [some, those who are gay, of course], do think of Bahati as a cringe inducing embarassment of a politician. You go, dude, just blast them, and claim your space on the blogosphere.

Here is an excerpt of Bahati's justification for my persecution. Oh, he says it is love, not hate. I think I have justification in protesting.

In an interview on MSNBC's Rachel Maddow Show, the lawmaker insisted his bill was not about hate.

"We have a huge problem in our country," Bahati said. "People who are coming from abroad, investing in Uganda to recruit children into a behavior that we believe is a learned behavior and can be unlearned."

"We believe that our children should not be recruited in something they don't believe in," he added.

"I am not in a hate campaign, I do not hate gays, I love them, but at the same time I must protect our children who are being recruited into this practice."

Bahati went on to assert that more than $15 million has poured into the country over the past 7 months to defeat the bill and to recruit children into being gay.

"They go to a school, teach them, entice them with money, to lure them into this practice," he said.

When Maddow asked, "How do gay people hurt your family?" Bahati answered that it hurts the Ugandan family when the "purpose of procreation is undermined."

If you really want any confirmation from me, a gay man in Uganda.... I do not, and have NEVER recruited a child into homosexuality.

I am pretty sure that I was not recruited.... don't even know what that means, unless it is something like turning a straight person gay. I don't think it is possible. That does not stop Bahati from accusing me of recruitment. And asking that I be hanged.

And, here, from LezGetReal, an open letter to the couple that hosted Bahati in the US. It is a serious, heart to heart letter. Becomes quite political at the end. Does lessen the outright heart to heart touch, but, it is serious. You hosted a ghoul. Why did you?

Mr. Bahati told Ms. Maddow on her show that the Bill is founded and rooted in one fact; he said it is a based on evidence that Homosexuals are "recruiting children in Uganda, into homosexuality." Now I am a lesbian and cannot for the life of me imagine what that means. I asked a gay male colleague what it meant to him and it defied his sense of logic too. So when Maddow asked Bahati for proof, Mr. Bahati said he would provide this proof. Maddow is waiting and the gay community is not holding its breathe because we know its a lie. The very concept is non-existent. If anyone was indeed harming children in a sexual way, I imagine such would fall under Uganda's sexual assault laws, no matter who would cause such harm, gay or straight.

Sadly, anti-gay speech is politically correct in Africa.

An article in the Christian Science Monitor examines this. They assert that the Anti-Homosexuality bill in Uganda was withdrawn. Not true. As Bahati was happy to confirm to the Americans. But, there is this article about the Kenyan consititutional process.

And in Kenya, as the country prepared to vote last summer in a referendum to establish the new Constitution – an attempt to prevent a return of the leadership crisis that followed ethnic clashes after the December 2007 elections – it was conservative Kenyan churches (urged on by the Pat Robertson-funded American Center for Law and Justice) who opposed the Constitution, arguing incorrectly that the new Constitution would have legalized abortion and same-sex marriages.

Converging reasons

Wanyeki Muthoni, executive director of the independent Kenya Human Rights Commission, says that the tumult over homosexuality is the result of three converging trends.

First, Kenyan gays are becoming more politically active and vocal, lobbying hard for "basic equality and nondiscrimination." Second, the global debate over the ordination of gay priests, increasingly accepted in Europe and the United States, has caused a conservative backlash here in Africa, with African churches largely rejecting those reforms. Finally, African churches have been radicalized by what Ms. Muthoni charges is "the ever-increasing influence of homophobic American Evangelicals in Africa."

I followed the Kenyan Constitutional process from afar. And, I was quite happy at the fact that it was successful. Suddenly, there was the dawn of a new Kenya. A vibrant neighbour who is unafraid of democratic ideals. I was happy for them.

And, yes, I was very concerned at the way the evangelicals formed the core opposition to the constitution. Yes, they did. I didnt know that they were being funded from outside.... funny, me as a gay African, I am supposed to be the one getting the foreign funding, from recruiting American and European homosexuals.

In Uganda, for the 3 reasons given above, I am quite aware that the first one does not apply.... that, unless you want to assume that gayuganda is an army. Some do. For their own convenience. But, gayuganda is not an army. The other two reasons for the rising anti-gay sentiment in Uganda are very true.

I was restless... and there was so much to write about...

I go now to exercise....!

gug

Coming Out.

Its mid December. Nearly, anyway. End of the year, beginning of another.

I never make new year resolutions. Find it an unnecessary stress to undertake them. But, it is a time for thought and thinking, for reflection. What has the old year been about? What do I expect from the new year? How do I plan the new year, with respect to the realities of what is, and what is not?

No, it is frustratingly difficult to plan. So, I make a tentative wish list, and think about how to get to the final that I want. For example, I am pretty sure that Ssempa, Dear Pastor Dr. Martin 'eat da poo poo' Ssempa will resurrect in the new year..... but, what will he do? He is a political chameleone. The huge fall that he took with his 'eat da poo poo' theatrics are not about to keep him down. And, he has a huge following, a base in Uganda, which is a springboard to anything that he would love to do....

Even killing gays.... ha ha ha. I watched a snippet of Bahati's interview with Rachel Maddow. Poor deluded man. Seriously deluded man. If it was not the fact that the guy is after putting me in prison or killing me because I am gay, I would be seriously think of dismissing him. I mean, he is seriously in shit. And, not of the good kind.

But, my countrymates believe him. They believe in making sure that me as a homosexual dies, because I am a homosexual.

Ok. That bears strongly with what I have been thinking about in the last few months.

Time for me to be real open about my sexuality.

Thing is, the veil is tattered. Real tattered. More people know, believe, think, or suspect that I am gay than don't. I mean, I think there are few enough of my acquitances who do not know that.

But, again, it is a decision with un-suspected ripple effects.

My relatives... well, Dad warned me not to go that way.... Last real quarrel we had with him. He kind of accepts that I am gay. Is holding on, with tentative scepticism, to the promise to give him a grand child […...! I do love children. And, the promise was more to myself than to him....]. But, he is horrified by my activism and exposure. It can hurt him.

Of course, being publicly known as gay will have an effect on my relatives. Of course it will. Many know, many suspect... but, is my pastor brother willing to have me known as one of the gay Ugandans? Oh, sorry, homosexual Ugandans.. if there is any difference?

But, it is freedom, getting out of the closet. It is made of bars of steel, restrictions and an iron floor, hard, unyielding, even when I do not see it.

Why the thought? Yes, because of the freedom. And, because,... I am getting on in years, and living closeted irks me more.... And, because with the freedom to be myself, I will be able to achieve more of my more open goals...

Tough thought. Tough, tough, tough...

Anyway, I have to think about it, and I am. No decision till I am ready to do so. Coming out is too important, too tough a something to do.

Meanwhile, friends, acquitances, I do hope you are enjoying the festive season.

Here, it is just starting off. With kids, many, if not most, back from school, heading upcountry to grandpa and grandma, and others flooding the city bars and shopping malls.

Enjoy the day. And the festive season.

gug

Outing in the worst possible ways.

I have exactly five minutes to write what I am writing.

But, I cannot not write this. It is on my mind, which is seething. I am no speed writer.

Was it two nights ago? At Makerere university, the very university that hosts Ssempa's Makerere Community church, two guys were reportedly found by one, Tamale, and this one decided that they were having gay sex.

So, Tamale made an alarm. And, the guys were beaten up, badly.

Hall security rescued them from the mob of students, which was intent on lynching the guys.

They were taken to the police, where they were arrested. Yes. They were arrested. Suspicion of being gay.

So, they are out on police bond. One is in hospital at the moment.

Gosh......

My ire is up. And, I am boiling. So, did they do something that made them deserve the beating, the outing, the labelling, the arrest and.....

Life is shitty, sometimes

My five minutes are up.

gug

Bahati's Trip to the US.

Frankly, I do not care where Bahati goes....

Why should I care? He is a rich man. One of our MPs who give themselves multi-million shilling salaries while the common worker in Uganda earns peanuts. It is like trying to worry about what Bill Gates does....! Hey, I mean, I am putting it in context!

Anyway, Bahati is in the US. There are people, gay people like me, who are incensed that he was given a visa to visit. That he was allowed in. Well, it is their country. And, they have a right to determine who gets in and out of it. And, if they want to keep out a guy who wants me dead just because I am like they are... I whole heartedly support them. Oh, yes, I do. If only to have Bahati embarrassed! Call me small minded...

But, it concerns me in another way.

Bahati was most likely sure that he was not going to be allowed to attend the conference. Even I who was peripherally interested in his going realised that there was little chance of him being allowed into the conference venue. [shrug]

But, he did go. At a busy time when he should be politicking for his re-election to parliament.

So, why did he go?

Logical that he must have other eggs to fry. Is it about the anti-Homosexuality bill? I am uncomfortable that that is his issue. Maybe connecting to the people that he consistently said had supported him. However covertly.

Yes, I have picked that from 'LezGetReal', but it maybe uncomfortably very near the truth.

He certainly didnt do this to go and be a guest on the Rachel Maddow Show, which he apparently is going to be. He is not a very good debater.

Unless, it is something else. He is taking the battle into the enemy camp. Wants to give a 'human face' to the bill.... and deny that it is about what it is about? Yeah, I mean, the guy has been very consistent. He believes that god is on his side, and will not countenance god batting for the other team. No, sorry. He wants to deny that he wants to kill gay people. He wants to affirm that we are 'recruiting'. He wants to affirm that we are 'destroying' the African family. He wants to affirm that he is for Family values, which are being undermined by the rich and cruel gay agenda. Sorry. The Homosexual Agenda.

Or, he wants to generate sympathy here at home, for his cruel treatment in America.

Is it that? Should I pray for Rachel Maddow to be, err, gentle on the man?

No... I would like him exposed for the buffoon he is.... Sorry for my language, ladies, gentlemen.

Of course, America is a rich country. He may be hated and reviled for his anti-Homo agenda, but, there are those few who will lionise him. And give him the rare and heavy dollar.

Gosh, why didn't I think about it? The guy is going for money. Pure, and simple. He is going fund-raising for his campaign. He needs the money of course, and, it doesn't matter that most people will think him a demented man. There are those few who will embrace him, who will watch the Rachel Maddow show of him and send him money.

Uh. Problem solved. Yes, I am now fairly comfortable in my analysis. He is a good Ugandan. His reasons for what he does what he does are fairly easy, fairly simple. Yes, I know he calls himself a Christian. Sure, he is. That is what Christians are in Uganda. Ssempa, Bahati, Solomon Male, Buturo... Similarly stripped Christians. I am not disabusing him of that notion.

But, he is also a Ugandan, in need of money for the campaigns back home.

Fund-raising trip to the US.

Oh well.

Wish him no luck, but I am sure he will be lucky.

gug

A PM called to account. Kenya.

Uh,

I have been negligent. Sorry. Just happens that sometimes I get too caught up in some things. Like earning daily bread....!

But, I have been following from afar the debate in Kenya. It is kind of refreshing. Very, for a Ugandan. Not very long ago, we Ugandans thought of Kenya as the country with the more repressive environment. Politically, and with regards to freedom of speech. Those were the days of Moi. But, it seems they have very vigorously embraced the freedom to say what they want. And, they are doing so, with a pride and vociferousness which warms the heart.

Have been following the faux pas by the Prime Minister. Cant believe that people are calling his bluff in the press. Openly, candidly, and laying out their reasons with a fearlessness that is amazing, for me in Uganda. We cannot do this, even when people call on us to be hanged. No, we cannot. Infact, pastors lead demonstrations to court to protest our defence of the right to the dignity of human beings.... We are criminals.

No. Our Kenyan brothers are not that.

The careless and highly inflammatory remarks about homosexuals made by Prime Minister Raila Odinga have understandably led to outrage among civil society and gay rights activists in Kenya and in the Diaspora.

At a public rally at Kibera, the Prime Minister ordered the arrest of all gay couples in the country because "it is madness for a man to fall in love with another man while there are plenty of women (in Kenya)" and "there is no need for women to engage in lesbianism when they can bear children".

Raila further stated that the new Constitution forbids same sex relationships (which is not true — while the Constitution forbids same sex marriage, it is silent about same sex relationships).

Raila owes Kenyans an apology, and not denials. And, a psychiatrist gets so railed that he actually gets pen to paper and writes an op-ed. Gosh, I am invigorated by such statements... The vigorous defence. Is this happening in Africa? Is it the next President of Kenya that is being called to book? Yes, it is. And, he is retracting, and back tracking, and being a buffoon about it.... He said the words. And, he was telling his constituents, who believe in him like they believe in a demi-god. And, it was okay for him to say that there. But not for the press to get his words and show the whole world what he did say....!

We cannot deny the power of his words. I mean, his constituents could have taken this as carte blanche to go ahead and attack gay Kenyans. Thankfully, they didnt then. But, it is important that this does not happen again. Raila richly deserves his lambasting. And, for the good of all Kenyans, and gay Kenyans in particular, it is important because he will control his tongue next time... Because, there will certainly be a next time. He is an important leader.

Hope your day has been good.

Mine has. Be well

gug