Tuesday, December 21, 2010


Its evening.

Seated. Our living room.

Bicycle boda man brings crates. Beer. Soda. In preparation for the big day.

For partner, it would not be a day without the requisite celebrations. So, a 'Christmas tree' is already bedecked with jewelery. More lights and glinting pieces than the green, I see.

I never put it up. Because it is not necessary. He will put it up when the time's right. And, he will put it back when it is right.

Why is it that I never notice these things?

Different people. Different interests. Is always funny that we are so different, and so compatible. We shouldnt be. Conventionally speaking. But, we are. Opposites, attracted, and staying together.

Which reminds me that it will soon be ten years. And, another celebration to prepare for.

But now, it is evening.

I am seated in the couch, feeling dusk descend to the valley I call home. It is quiet.

At one of the neighbours is a children's home. They practice dance, dramas, and it is in the evenings that the drums open up.

Their noise barely disturbs the silence of the day. It is a quiet evening.

The day has been very hot. Hot, dry, dusty. The dry season is really setting in. Yes, the morning was overcast. But, that was no longer the case later in the day. The sun was out by midmorning. And, it was hot, and windy in the afternoon. Hot enough for me to enjoy a good walk and come home sweaty and sated with exercise.

Evening, I didnt want to go out like I usually do. I am at peace, with myself, with the world all around me. I am feeling increadibly calm. Life, as the advert goes, is good.

So, let me take a detour around the cyberspace and come up with some laughs.

First is this. A look at our desire for marriage. Gay people wanting to tie the note. Why, and why not. Its pretty silly, and funny, and nice all in a very commonsensical way.

Even at this much lower-pitched occasion, everything in me screamed: "Why are you copying the heterosexuals when we've all made such a mess of things?" You had lives devoid of antenuptial contracts, estate Volvos, children who needed expensive dental treatment, mortgages, divorce and horrible old faithfulness - well that is if the writer Edmund White is anything to go by.

Now the new promiscuity, and I am talking gay males, is getting married. Like Elizabeth Taylor, you sleep with someone you marry him. Gay men can't wait to swear to faithfulness. They meet on Monday and marry on Saturday, so enticing is the thought of the metaphorical meringue frock.

Here's a strange thing: straight males about to marry women are often frightened. Commitment is such a wonky companion. They say: "Do you think I should really go through with this?"

They finger their antenuptial contracts and discuss with lawyers who will get the holiday house should the marriage dissolve. I have a close male friend who has been engaged for 40 years but cannot make the jump into marriage.

However, talking to gay men I encountered an enthralment and desire, a great longing to walk down an aisle.


Why am I with my partner? Hell, simple. Because, I am a human being and I desire all the conforts of that state. Why have we been together for so long? Well, the counter to that is, why not?

What about tying the note and walking down some aisle? Well, that would need some very serious negotiations. Aka the heterosexuals in the above article.

Here is another very thoughtful post on gay equality. Yes. It is not gay rights. Gay Equality, looking at DADT and its broader contexts in a world of interesting insights. I will not pick and choose a quote. Just point you to the article and analysis. http://www.juancole.com/2010/12/senate-repeal-of-dadt-in-global-context.html Thought is a good thing. Critical thinking is something that most of us are denied.

I came across the article of the Deputy Speaker of the UK Parliament who has come out as gay.http://news.scotsman.com/news/Tory-MP-set-to-admit.6665380.jp Wow. Good for the guy. Others say it may be for the wrong reasons. But, at the same time, I always think of coming out as an intensely personal thing. I will never be able to judge when one should come out, and when they should not. One could almost say that this whole blog is a long coming out process.

And last, to dear Honourable Nsaba-Buturo.

He is on his last legs as a member of parliament for the ruling party. He may come back as an independent. But, what is amusing me is his escalation of his moral campaign. The Morality police is back, out in force.

First of course, he is always after the homosexuals. His legal prey.... that is a given, in Ugandan. Google Nsaba-Buturo, and you will almost certainly come across his many anti-gay statements. So, maybe the latest tiff with the Human Rights Commission in Uganda is not such a big deal. What is a big deal is the fact that people are not taking it as quietly as they take other things. Like frank 'Hang them'... The Sunday Vision is the government mouthpiece. The fact that this letter came out is an indication that some toes are sore... in more than one way. 

More interesting is this article-

THURSDAY last week, Club Silk's Pole dancing did not take place. Snoops can now reveal that management heard that state minister for ethics and integrity, James Nsaba Buturo was expected to storm in and cause the arrest of several people.

Apparently, it is said that the minister sent to the club his scouts last month who confirmed that action was needed. Management says the club is taking a break and when it resumes, entrance fee will be hiked.

Hey, people do have strip shows in Kampala. We wait for the Buturo's to go to sleep....

Seriously, these things happen. And, see the reaction to Buturo's moralising? He sends in scouts... spies. [Duh, it is always in the papers, the 'news' about pole dancing and strip shows.... yes, strip shows... duh] So, why is he sending in his 'spies' now? He sends them in. They hear of it, and tone down for a few days... and soon it will be back to 'normal'. Oh, if it was homosexuals....!

Uh, Demented Buturo...

He is actually a comedian. Bad one... but, has served up a few laughs in his own way...

Here is to wishing you continued holiday cheer


1 comment:

Leonard said...

Happy Holidays to you and your loved one!

It´s been a fascinating year and you´ve added so much...thanks gug.

Leonardo Ricardo

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