Sunday, April 4, 2010

Pensive mood II


Cant get out of thoughts, can one?


Ever thought of the shadow of self we all present to the world? Ever really thought about it? A politician has all this crafted image of himself, herself that they present to the world. Even a high profile sportsman like Tiger Woods. Yeah, I mean the public persona which went up in flames just a few weeks ago.


But, is this the kind of person that we really are?


Yet, begs the question, who are we?

Who is gayuganda?


The anonymity is a blessing and a curse. I can mouth off about a lot of things. Of course I can. And be rude to people I would never dream of being rude to in day to day life.

At the same time, I am constrained. There are certain things of beauty that I cannot reveal, or utter, or say on the blog.


Ssempa once said of us, me and my friends, that we are evil.


Just because we are gay, we are evil. But, is that what we are?


The politics of prejudice are something that I have learnt to play. I am gay. So, to some I am totally evil. To others I cannot be what I am, or be what I am. Remember MP Benson Obua-Ogwal insisting that I cannot be a gay Ugandan? Seems awful, that kind of blindness.


On the Throckmorton Blog, I got into a cheeky exchange. I say Ssempa lies. Some guy believes, and has kind of felt in need of defending Ssempa.

That is actually a tough thing to do. Defending Ssempa. Especially against gug who comes out and points my grimy digit and say, Ssempa lies. I didn't know it was politically incorrect to say that. But, why not call a lie a lie if it is uttered like so? Especially when it is our Gay Porn Freak Show Pastor Ssempa….


Yet, is that who gug is?


Yesterday I was faced with the middle of our worlds, our realities. Was kind of surreal. When I say I don't believe, I tend to mean every syllable of that. But, some of us believe in the Christian, or moslem gods in Uganda. But, they also have a strong and abiding belief in the other gods. The traditional gods.


I was caught in the middle of the two sides, who were trying to decide what to do with a person who was sick.

The options? Very familiar to a Ugandan. A laying on of hands for prayer… That is what some people believe in. And, a strong faction of the group was of the view to bring in faith healers.

Others were for faith healers of another kind. A traditional witchdoctor. It is not so suprising that many nominal Christians do believe, and very strongly, in the efficacy of the African Witchdoctor, or traditional healer, or whatever you will call them.


The 'conventional' western medicine?


Sure. We all believe that it has a place in what we do. But, apparently, the biggest argument here was that, this particular ailment was not its forte.


So, what does a non-believer do, in such cases of conflict between believers? [grin]- Stand in the middle and listen and learn.


Life is pretty solid, pretty basic, here in Africa. I live a kind of rarefied existence, able to deep out of my reality, into the word of bytes and bits, and taste that which is happening in worlds far away from me. Which are my values? which values do I reject completely? Which do I embrace?


Uh, as I said, pensive mood.


Today is Easter. Enjoy the day. You and your loved ones.




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