Last Sunday I was in a bar talking with one friend, a gay friend. His new year resolution was to end 'bar friendships'. I laughed at him when he told me.
But he was serious.'It is high time we started really knowing one another as Kuchus (gay Ugandans). Time to end superficial acquaintanceships. Time to make real friends.'
A great idea. And a very good positive development.
I have many gay friends. More 'bar acquaintances' than friends. But I do have friends amongst them. People we have invited home for a dinner or such. A far cry from the time when all were guys one knew at the bar, and had no idea of the real names. The closet is a terrible thing.
Kuchu community in
Seems like yesterday that I was looking for other gay people in
When I first got tired of the party scene and told an acquaintance that I was actually on the look out for a long term relationship, he laughed at me. We were in a bar that we frequented then. About 20 gay guys. I am (not) promiscuous(!). I had slept with only about 5 of the people in the bar. He had slept with most, and was angling for my scalp.
'Kuchus', he informed naive me, 'Kuchus do not form relationships. I don’t know of any couples.' He was disdainful in his superior knowledge of Kuchu community in
Indeed, later, my partner and I used to be the token 'Gay Couple of the year' for a few years running.
But that was then. Now, we are not the only couple on the scene. Guys, (and girls) are moving into solid relationships. And doing well. Guess my friend was not right about what Kuchus are capable of.
It’s a good vibe. What was not possible before is tantalisingly probable now. A gay lawyer friend once laughed at me when I talked about Gay Rights in
Maybe, just maybe, I will have the pleasure of leading my love down the aisle during my lifetime in
Now, that would be beautiful.