And I call him husband. We met a few years back, enough to make it exceptional. Yet we still do love each other. I treasure the time that we are together, and he wants to be with me all the time. All the time if I were to have it so.
Sometimes, many times I find it incredible that our community would be offended by our love. Oh, they know that we live together. They see us move in and out of the house, always together, yet most do not understand how close we are, how close we can be. A blessing to us. Were they to figure it out, they would not be indifferent.
Yet to us, the current indifference is incredible.
Don't they see the smile on my face when I look at him? Don't they see the look in his eyes when he smiles at me? Why would they see it as deplorable? Why is it so offensive that I love him as I do?
Recently, a neighbour of ours went to do a 'Kwanjula'. It is the traditional marriage ceremony. He has lived with his lady for more than 15 years. He had not done this, the current 'precursor' to the legal, church wedding ceremony. Yet, in the eyes of the community, they are man and wife. They just needed to wrap up the societal obligations. It is normal, it is usual, marriage starts with years of co-habitation and many children.
But for me and mine, we are illegal. From our love, our making love, our being humans who are different. We are different, because he calls me husband.
Thanks for this beautiful post and the comment you left on my blog. I have lived and worked in East Africa and understand the courage it has taken to live the life that you are living. Gay people in Europe and America, and perhaps even Asia have no idea of the difficulties our brothers face in Africa.
The recent startling progress made in South Africa gives us all some reason to hope. But I also understand that Africa is a huge and very varied continent, and there is no guarantee that the light that has shone on South Africa will shine on Uganda or other places in what is still, for gay people, the "dark continent."
You are very welcome brother!
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