Thursday, August 10, 2023

Coming out to Yourself


Coming out to Yourself: Coming Out and Disclosure in Uganda, other Hostile environments (2)


If it is so hostile in Uganda, and most of Africa to be homosexual, (LGBTQ+), kuchu, then why should someone ‘come out’?

For the simplest and most uplifting of reasons. For yourself.

You come out to yourself, because it will do you damn great and wonderful good. This is a step that you must take to acknowledge who and what you are. Otherwise, you keep yourself blind and deaf and real dumb, in this life that you will not have a re-do.

Kuchu. LGBTQ+ individual.
Understand that you literally had no say in who and what you are. Blame it on a Creator God or anything in your spirituality, but understand the basic, you are who you are, and had no say in who you are. Stop hiding from yourself.

You can try to run away from yourself.
Oh, we all have done that. Some of us are still doing that. We are running, and running, and running, as fast as we can, from our selves.
And, it is simply not possible. We are who we are. We take who we are everywhere we go, be it our beds, our houses, our schools; even to our marriages and into the marital beds. We go there, as who and what we are.

You owe yourself that acknowledgment, of who you are. Understanding that the world being who and what it is, you are still who and what you are. Stop running, and acknowledge and know and understand yourself.
You are different. You are kuchu. You are you.
And you deserve to come out to yourself, more than anything on this earth. You need to begin knowing who you are.

No. I am not telling you to tell anyone else.

I am telling you to tell YOU that it is truth. You are kuchu. Believe the evidence of your eyes. Accept who and what you are. It is worth it, and you deserve to acknowledge it. You owe it, to you. You owe yourself a coming out.

You don’t owe that understanding, that ‘coming out’ to anyone else. You owe it to YOU, and you alone. That should be your single most important consideration. Treat yourself well, stop hiding from who YOU are.

There are benefits to admitting to yourself that you are kuchu.

You will stop running on the inside. You will stop hiding from yourself. You will get a boost to your mental health. You will just be… happy. That bit more happy than you are. And that will help you to get over this little step in your life and plan a little bit more realistically, than having to do what others tell you to do, and do other things because you fear being you.
So, yes. Come out, to yourself. Take that step, in your mind. Know, admit, that you are kuchu.

Research has actually shown that there are mental health benefits to coming out. But, that research has been in countries where coming out means telling people around who can support you. That is a very tough thing in most of Africa. Though, again, knowing yourself, stopping the denial will be a boost to you, in your life, even if you don’t tell anyone else.

One of the things that I definitely know happens when we accept who and what we are is that you become more resistant to the charlatans and liars and anti-gay activists who tell us that they can make us straight. Doesn’t matter whether they are in church, or mosque, priest, pastor or Sheikh. They prey on your fear, and will take you through hell and close to suicide before you break and run away from them.
Knowing and understanding and accepting that you are kuchu is one of the single most defences that you will have against them. The Ssempa’s of this world prey upon our insecurities. Coming out to yourself denies them a way into your mind to confuse you.

Of course coming out to yourself is always a boost. We are naturally curious. After bursting that dam in your mind, you will want to know more about who and what you are. There are quite a few resources, online, and not. And of course there are kuchus all around you, some of whom have had the same experiences. Now you might be more ready to engage and listen to them.

‘Coming out’ to yourself is a crucial step. But, it is only a first step, potentially opening up your mind to the wonders and opportunities out there. You will start with baby steps. That is absolutely fine. The pace is yours, the mind is yours, the body is yours.
When you are no longer in ‘denial’ of who and what you are, you are ready to start the healing that only you can source and help happen to you.




Anonymous said...

What does KUCHU mean?

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