Homophobes

Are they realy haters? Is it just because they dont understand? Why do they feel so threatened by differences from the usual?

I read somewhere, (don’t remember where) that some of us seem to have an inborn fear of change. That ‘conservatism’ may actually be ‘in the blood’, so to say. Could it be true? That as a consequence of our evolution, we have internalized a resistance to change- yet change is a must. We are a very intelligent specie, us human beings. The need for adaptive change comes up against the need to maintain that which has worked for years. Most of us are wired, despite our intelligence, to resist change, however logical it is. Some are less so than others. And of course what drives us is the reality of our genetic makeup against the reality of our ever increasing knowledge and our capacity of intelligence.

Hmmmmmmmmm!

It is an interesting proposition to think of the guys who are so adamantly homophobic. Nsaba-Buturo. Ssempa. I love the lessons that Ted Haggard is giving all of us. He is bi, at least, more than likely homosexual. Has struggled with his sexuality. He cannot hide from his own intelligence, as he cannot hide from his sexuality.
But he lives in a world that seeks to deny his knowledge and his experience, as against what he thinks is his world. I don’t think we are through hearing from him. This former champion of conservatism, brought low by his own intelligence, and the sexuality that he has sought to run away from.

I digress. I was reading this article about how some ‘phobes were fighting a battle against trans-sexuals. Why, why do they believe it is a necessity to oppose anything which smacks of equality for the gay minority in our hetero dominated societies?

I am gay. But the constant harassment, to me, seems to be over the top. There are many causes in the world. Why does one choose to pursue one which seeks to deny rights for a minority? Why would it matter to me that a transwoman chooses to go into a public toilet for women?

I have inadvertently read up a bit on the homosexual hating literature. We call ourselves gay. They insist we are homosexuals. And, in such a tiny thing one can see the differences of opinion. Ssempa, bless him, is not very bright. Charismatic, without a doubt, but he shows such a huge knowledge gap that I think him more stupid than clever. He once stated that he did not hate homosexuals, but was totally against the ‘normalisation of homosexuals in society’. Translated, don’t hate the sinner, but hate the sin. And do all that you can to make the sinner feel that he and she is less than a person, while you piously admit to not hating them.

So, if a trans-woman uses a women’s public toilet, what would this do? It would be a tiny step in the normalization of sexualities other than heterosexuality. A very small step.
So, it necessitates an all out assault.

So, why do they do it? Here is the story. I really would love to know why I threaten a person like Ssempa so much. Or Nsaba-Buturo.

Florida's Transgender Bathroom Rule Angers Conservatives

GAINESVILLE, Fla. — A blond girl heads from a playground into a women's restroom. A scruffy man, lurking outside, darts in behind her. "Your City Commission Made This Legal," the words on the TV screen read.

The dark ad came from opponents of a gender identity provision added last year to the city's anti-discrimination ordinance, which now allows the city's roughly 100 transgender residents to use whichever restroom they're most comfortable using.

Foes want to repeal the new protection with a March 24 ballot measure that has divided Gainesville, a generally gay-friendly university city surrounded by staunchly conservative north Florida.

Those who support the transgender protections say their opponents are really unleashing a broader attack on the rights of gay, lesbian and transgender individuals in general.

The city commission approved the restroom provision by a 4-3 vote a year ago. Before the ink could dry, Bible-quoting opponents angrily began working for its repeal.

"You are trying to operate in a realm you do not have the authority to operate in," one pastor, George Brantley, told the commissioners.

The debate is expected to become noisier as the ballot nears with opponents resorting to more TV ads and campaigns pegged to such slogans as "Keep Men out of Women's Restrooms and vice versa."

Continued…





GayUganda

A Trans in Uganda

Like it is worldwide, the travails of a Trans are that much more arduous than a gay man. Or a lesbian. From today's monitor.

Tororo’s man who loves to be a woman

Augustine Emojong

Tororo

A Tororo man who was in 2006 arrested for assault wont stop wanting to be a woman.

Popularly known as Fatuma Segiyirira, the impersonator fought over a man with another woman at Nagongera township in a bar where ‘she’ worked as a barmaid. Segiyirira was taken to Tororo Central Police Station where ‘she’ was kept in the female cells.

Segiyirira was then produced in court on charges of assault and sent to Morukatipe Prison where he was also kept in a female inmates’ wing. He was later discovered to be a man after he reportedly started threatening to infect fellow female inmates with HIV/Aids. The Police added another charge of impersonation and he was returned to Morukatipe Prison in the male wing.

After serving a one-year sentence, he was recently released. The detention appears not to have change him. Segiyirira had been on the loose again until last week when his luck ran out for the second time. He had been to Mudakori Trading Centre in Tororo where she had camped looking for a job of a barmaid.

This time round, he called herself Margaret.

Residents told Daily Monitor that after spending some days in the area, he had attracted the attention of many men. He allegedly conned many of men and declined to have sex with them, pretending that he was in his menstrual periods. His luck ran out last weekwhen a curious young man tried to touch his ‘breasts’ at a drinking joint, only to get amused when a sponge fell down.

The LC1 Chairperson, Mrs Angella Okello and other women, took him to a separate house to check and ascertain his gender but were shocked to discover that he was a mature man. Drama then ensued as he was stripped and beaten by angry residents who forced him to walk naked for over the 5km stretch to Tororo Central Police Station.

Hundreds of curious onlookers thronged the streets to see the great woman who had turned into a man.

While being stripped, Segiyirira was found to have tied his manhood with a string, passed it between his legs and tied the string at the back of his waist to convince everyone. Some of those she had gone with say he used to smear tomato sauce on his panties to always deceive the men that he was in his monthly periods after drinking their beers and being offered some cash.

The Tororo District police Commander, Mr Gaudencio Okumu, told Daily Monitor on Monday that it was very unfortunate that Fatuma had continued with the same character after being released from prison. “We are finalising the charge sheets and he will be taken to court again on charges of impersonation and other charges which we shall find appropriate,” said Mr Okumu.

---

An exercise in futility?

I had stopped myself from commenting about Segiyirira- but that has been short lived. What crime has this lady committed? Daring to dress like a woman. Deceiving her acquitances. Those seem to be the most heinous crimes, according to the article. And what has been the punishment, which the community meted out fast and furiously?

• A not so public check to confirm the genital sex.
• A public beating.
• Paraded naked, for 5 good kilometres
• Jailed. Was there any mention of bail or police bond?
• To court soon, charge- impersonation. Of a woman. (Any woman!!!)

The police commander is not happy. Second time offender, so more charges, he adds grimly.
The price of ignorance. Why should a man dress as a woman? Why would one risk one’s very life to do that? As a gay man in Uganda, I realize that I am fine in a way. For a long time, and at great cost to myself, I have learnt to hide. It is simply a necessity of survival. I hide so well that I can get lost in my own deception.
A trans person in Uganda is more disadvantaged. Much more disadvantaged, and Segiyirira has paid the price. It could as easily have become a lynch mob.

Being what I am, I cant help thinking that all these things were crimes committed by society and the state against the individual... but then, I am biased.

gug

It is a Beautiful Day

What makes a day beautiful?

I don’t know. But it is something that comes from the inside of me, that sees what I see as beautiful.

Woke up late. Saturday night, but we did not stay up too late. This morning, could not leave bed, because my lover was wrapped up around me, and it was warm in bed, and there was a drizzle of rain outside.

No longer the morning now. Afternoon. But it is still drizzly. The sun is not seen, a blue grey curtain of cloud covers the heavens. And only the bright light makes it through. And it is cold.

No, not snow cold. Just a tingly, refreshing, invigorating cold which makes me look out of and say, oh, what a beautiful day. I will not mind the water and the rain, the mud and the lack of sun. It is bright, without the sun being out. A day, and a time that one can feel oneself dancing in the mind.

Maybe it is what is in my mind that makes the day beautiful. My perception of it.

That would mean that I can find beauty where others would not. If I see beauty, I can see it even when others would not, and would still love what I see.

Poetry. It is a lasting fascination with me. Cant say what it is doing to me. Good things, but great good things. When I hold my lover in my hands, I feel that the words which I cannot say can now be written. They will flow off the finger tips, though my toungue is heavy and stuttering. Great thing that my lover can read my face and my touch and my hugs. Funny that he is not so much into reading as I am. Sometimes I want to shake him and tell him, read my blog, it will tell you how much I love you. But maybe he understands. Maybe. A little.

There is a kuchu function. One of groups here is holding a drag show. You know, real, live drag. Should be interesting.

Of a sudden, there is a blossom of confidence within the kuchu community. People are getting proud of what they are. They understand what they are. And they are affirming it. Last Sunday, we were told that a Transgender support group had been formed. There are a considerable number of transgenders amongst us. Yet, before, they were not identifying. Now, they are, and we are taking it in stride. Of course Victor being a transgender has a lot to do with it! Plucky woman, or, er, man. We are still developing our identities, but for me, being in the middle of it, it is fascinating. Wish I could pull myself away and look, without participating.

Kuchus, all of us gay Ugandans, we are no longer the self effacing, down trodden, invisible, pride-less individuals that we were. Now people are out. Out and about.

It makes me happy. It makes me feel that something is happening. Now I can say that I understand the meaning of Gay Pride. Because these kuchus are manifesting a pride in what they are which is a huge contrast to usual slinking off, tail between the legs.

Me too. The other day, one of my workmates made allusions to my sexuality. Inquisitive, trying to make me say something either way. Oh, she has heard the rumours, is the one who informed me, obliquely, that my name was in the tabloid.

I was amused. I did not out myself, but I did not step back with the usual subterfuges. I am not denying what I am. No longer.

Gosh, I, and other Kuchus, we are growing up. Mature! Never thought this would ever be. But it is.

I cannot attend the drag show. Other commitments. My lover is going there. With a friend of ours.

A day of beauty indeed. A time of hope, a river of possibilities, of a sudden, in a desert of thorns.

GayUganda

Gender Identity Male

I was at a gathering of kuchus the other day. Interesting guys and gals. Gender benders, I call us. I had a sudden revelation, insight into my perception of our challenge to established custom.

I have blogged before of our Kuchu identities. I thought that I had accepted all of us for what we are. The different identities, the shades of differences. I was shocked to find that I may not have, that there are some things which are seemingly beyond my liberal mind.

One of us decided to teach us the Salsa. A brazilian dance I believe.

He is a good teacher. Took us through the initial steps, baby steps, easy for one with two left feet like me. Then came the point when we had to have a partner.

Usually, that makes me uncomfortable. I cannot lead in a dance, and someone has to have mercy on my partner’s feet. I like disco. No form but what is in my head. I dislike dancing which has a pattern. I become awkward.

The teacher told us that it was a dance for a couple. A man and a woman. And he started showing us how the man stands. I laughed, asked him what if it was two women? He shrugged it off.

We paired up, and the teacher took my partner. I was left without one, that is, until someone noticed that someone else had no partner.

(You will forgive me if I am politically incorrect.)

My new partner was a woman. A woman dressed as a man, butch and burly, acted and mannered like a man. I joked with her, telling her that we were two men, so who would be the woman?

The joke quickly turned sour. My partner, she wanted to be the man. She refused to be the woman. I held out my hand as the man, she refused it. Impasse.

I commented before that I am quite firm in my gender identity. Just an explanation, we are born with ‘sex organs’ which determine our sex; male or female. We are socialised into a gender role in our societies, male or female. And we also identify with these roles; what is called gender identity. For most people, the social gender role and gender identity are the same. But for the transgender they are not.

I am a man. That has never disturbed me. I am a man who is attracted to other men. A homosexual. Once upon a time, that disturbed me, but not now.

I don’t want to be a woman. I have been socialised to think that women are somehow, by that accident of genes, below me as a man. An African man. It is an unconscious assumption, prejudice, cemented by my upbringing, challenged by what I now see on a day to day basis of its falsehood, and its consequences.

I have met many other biological guys who embrace the female gender role. They want to act like women. African women. They want to dress like them. And of course, those of us who do not tend to be irritated, and wonder what exactly is going on. I thought that I had accepted them as part of our diversity as kuchus.

I was shocked to find myself balking at the chance to play the woman. I just literally could not.

The lady of course is a transgender. She identifies as a man. And to her, growing up in the same African culture as I had, she did not and would not identify as a woman. Regretfully, we failed to learn the dance together. Later, I took my lover to introduce her to him. He took one look at her and asked whether she was a man or woman. A man, she said confidently. The voice low and firm, puffing on a cigarette.

Now, thought I, that is an African man.

Go on brother!

GayUganda

Kuchu Identities

We call ourselves Kuchus, us gay Ugandans.

Kuchus. An interesting term. It was a secret term before, but now that the Red rug published it, why hide? We are.

Kuchu. The term is apparently derived from Swahili. Not any of our local languages, but the why of it is lost. Some of us think it derogative. To others it is a sign of pride.
The best translation to English would be ‘Queer’. I got across this interesting article on homosexuality and Queer theory. It was of interest because it captured the essence of our identities and differences so well.

The girls are Kuchus, and so are the guys. The transgenders are also Kuchus. We all are kuchus. So, instead of going into the terms gay or lesbian which seem to confuse us so much in the community, we just say that we are kuchu. And that is taken as a member of the family. All inclusive and welcoming, or so we think.

Yet we are different amongst ourselves.

First time that I met Victor was at a party. There was this cute boy, (I thought), who the other guys were hitting on outrageously. Victor later came and talked to me, a few minutes. Apparently enough to rouse my lover’s irritation. Until I told him that the cute boy was a girl.
Victor laughed as she corrected my mistake, telling me that she was flirting with the others just for fun, because they all thought that she was a man. She loved it.
Later, I was to know a few others like her. Girls, women who hated being women, but loved women.

To my shock there were guys like them too.
At first I was a bit irritated. Getting out of my closet, I was quite firm in my gender identity. I knew I was a man who was attracted to men. That was ok. But I did not want to become a woman. So when I saw a guy who acted like a woman, I was irritated. Remember I am an African male. Born and brought up in Africa. And in our firmly patriarchal upbringing, it is early on impressed on us that a man is not a woman, and for a man to be mistaken for a woman is an insult of considerable magnitude. So I was shocked that there were kuchus who actually acted like women. And others who took on the mannerisms of women, and some who identified as women. They amazed me. I knew I did not want to be like them. They actually did not attract me, till I had the chance to fall in love with one like that. That (ahem) was a while ago! It was a considerable learning experience for me. I realized that though superficially similar, we kuchus were very different.

That was about the time that I started reading up medical texts on sexuality. Interesting stuff actually. We have a saying that one who has not traveled is the one who praises his mom’s cooking. Reading on sexuality opened my eyes to a lot of possibilities.

And I realized, that as a kuchu, or queer, we were not only diverse, we were a proudly diverse community. It is not only the straight who think that they are the epitome of normality. Even us kuchus have those delusions.

But we can embrace the fact of our differences. And so can those who are straight understand that we are different, but still human.

GayUganda

To my friends

I am dedicating this post to my friends. All my friends, known and unknown, knowing and unknowing.

Writing this blog, I use the experiences of my life. My gay life. And I am ever talking about being gay, and being what I am, a Ugandan, an African. Yet I realise that many of my Ugandan friends simply do not know what I mean when I use some of these terms.

Sexual Orientation is what the scientists call our attraction to another sexually. One is most commonly attracted to those of the opposite sex. That is the heterosexual orientation. But one can be attracted to the same sex, the homosexual orientation. Or to both: bisexual.

I am a homosexual. I was born that way, far as I know. For a long time I denied it. I said and thought that it could not be true. Then I did accept it. Accepted that I was a homosexual, attracted to other men.

I am also gay.

Yes, one can be homosexual, and not gay. For example, Senator Craig insists he is not gay. Of course he is not. But there is a lot of evidence that he may be homosexual. Pastor Ted Haggard too.

To be gay or kuchu is to accept your sexual orientation. To accept that one is different. To go ahead and affirm that being homosexual does not decrease your worth as a human being.

I am gay. And I have taken it a step further. I have raised the rainbow flag, decided to embrace the struggle for equality of the gay community in my country. Uganda.

Once I did not think this way, but now I do. I am homosexual. Gay, and that does not make me any less a Ugandan. Or un-African. However much other people may insist that my sexual orientation is ‘un-African,’ ‘immoral’, ‘against culture’, that I learnt it from the decadent west.

Yet, I could have stopped at being homosexual. I could have accepted the majority view that because I was born homosexual, I am bad, less than human, a sinner, and worse.

I could have tried desperately to change. Doctors say it is impossible. I tried. There are many homosexuals who try to change. I am thankful I failed, and accepted myself. Some do not.

I could have walked the straight path. Gotten married. Had children. And maybe had my lovers on the side.

My lover believes in monogamy. He would not have accepted being on the sidelines. I know it happens a lot.

What actually started me off on this was this story. From Israel. Click the link and read it.

Guy like me. Homosexual. Took the straight path. Got married, 20 years! Had 4 sons, was an ultra-orthodox Jew. He tried his best to be straight, and failed. He got a lover, a male lover. But still he was not happy in his marriage.

He talked to his wife. Told her a partial truth; that he was transgender. Maybe to him it seemed a ‘lesser evil’. The lady took it well, but later, went on to seek a divorce. Marriage broken down.

The guy killed himself. His family was rejected by his community. Hypocrites, but then, that is society.

That could easily have been a script for my life. Because 95% of my country men disapprove of my sexuality.

But I cannot change my sexuality. Ssempa says that he can do that for me. I am a bit dubious of his claims. He is not a medical doctor. Maybe he is a witchdoctor.

I will not hide, because I am a man attracted to men, in Uganda.

I will say that I am me, a homosexual, a Ugandan, an African, and a human being.

I will pray desperately that my friends understand me. But I will not be less than what I am, because they disapprove.

GayUganda

The Un-reported Facts

Yeah, by now the whole world knows. How gay Ugandans, Kuchus went out and held a press conference. And they did it in masks and talked about HIV and discrimination and being in hiding. It was published in the papers. The New Vision, held back by the government policy could not but hold back. The Monitor is more expressive. For example, there was none of the obligatory mention of the law which is the official symbol of oppression and criminalisation.

But there were a lot of unreported facts.

I was there. I saw. I witnessed, and I was impressed. Deeply impressed by the energy of these few people. I was deeply impressed by the fact that they did organise and were able to pull it off. The opposition to them is considerable. Not only are there problems amongst them, coming out to themselves, but there is a problem coming out to the world.

There was quite a bit of the untold story in the papers' records. Of course, in keeping with my 'anonymous' self, I was invisibly visible. Maybe for a little while longer. But not much longer I think.

Julie Victor Mukasa. Out for the entire world to know. The architect of the conference. The leader, and a pretty effective one. A man in a woman’s body, she told us. And she was mesmerising as she uttered the un-utterable words. Shocked the reporters, I could see. A few others were unmasked, but the majority were in masks. And the masks were telling. Not the black, 'Hamas' like masks. But some more comical, effectively hiding the faces but not the persons. I could recognise them, though not others!

The language of delivery was Luganda. That was an impressive strategy. We are told that we are not Ugandan. That homosexuality is not Ugandan. And as the kuchus of Uganda claimed their birthright, they did it in the mother tongue of a number of them. It was impressive. The word 'abasiyazi' is like a curse word at the moment. It means homosexual in Luganda/Lusoga. And they used it, bravely, repeatedly, making sure that they were not hiding in semantics. I winced the first few times. It was shocking to my socialised self. I have grown up as a product of my culture. But soon it grew normal to my ears.

Brenda Kizza. A trans-gender. She featured in the news last weekend. And she came out. A man in body. A woman in mind, and she claimed it, calmly, openly, shocking the reporters. This is a patriarchal society. A woman claiming a man’s mentality is taken to be not so unusual. A man claiming a woman’s mentality is shocking. She talked, the voice cracking. She showed the dentures that had replaced broken teeth. Talked about the months of imprisonment, and the beatings that she has suffered at the hands of the police. She is a woman in a man, and the trans-status makes her an easy prey. She talked of how she was forced to suck the penises of two policemen in order to release her.

What of the supporters, Beatrice Were, wowing always in the background. Sarah Mukasa, frank feminist. And one lady who was HIV positive and talked of the shame that it was the government of Uganda which was suppressing HIV prevention efforts for homosexuals in Uganda. I was touched.

There is too much which was done in those few hours. And it has had an impact on me. Personally, as well as generally. A few kuchus I talked to were disdainful. They think we are not ready to have this done. But hell, it is high time that it was done. It is great that I am alive to see it done.

Viva to all the brave kuchus who risked the stigma in the country to put a face to homosexuality in Uganda. May they be left in peace.