Red Pepper Fallout

A friend writes to me, 'I am fine. Even work seems to be fine. A few people have asked me about the gay thing, but it seems to be settling down at work. But at home, my boyfriend is having a lot of problems.’

The boyfriend was (like most of us) not out. And because his mate was exposed by the Red Pepper, the relatives jumped to the (right) conclusion. So, a clan meeting is planned. And god help the boyfriend.

Small, tiny ripples of consequence. For the people who are concerned. The newspaper set it off, blowing away our anonymity, exposing us as 'homos'. Shaming us.

One friend I asked whether he was fine replied that he was not. That it has not been ok at his place. That he is even thinking of going out of the country.

Tough luck. A friend who was a medic decided to leave the country too. That was some time ago. His reason was that it was impossible to keep it quiet in Uganda.

The lot of the Kuchu in Uganda. Hiding, a lifetime closet. From friends, family, everyone. Tough.

But life is tough. We have managed to live it before. We shall weather this storm.

An improbable silver lining to this all. Now, I know that people know; I do not have to explain it. Someone was looking over my Google Reader, and he saw stuff I would have closed immediately before. I did not. Because, well, he knows. And what he does with that knowledge, may be good or bad. But he knows. No more hiding.

That is a real relief. No more setting a silent watch on my tongue, on where I look, on the things that I do, what escapes my mouth in an unguarded moment. No more ducking when I am in a bar and I see someone I know. Or ducking when I see risky people on the street! I am gay! Great. I am a Kuchu! And almost everyone knows!

It's also good for us as a community. Yes, I know these days will be tough, as we go through the fall out. But I also know that we will get through all of it. And it will be better, because we shall be 'out' and the world will know!!!!

Crazy thinking. Best to look at the positive side of it all.

Small, personal, personalised tragedies. They will occur. 95% of our country mates disapprove. That does not stop us the 3% from being what we are. Gay. Kuchu.

We shall overcome. Because we must.

We shall overcome. Someday.

GayUganda

The effect of 'gay' slurs. Only a joke?

This is fascinating. I was whizzing through my Google Reader and I came across this interesting article, a preview of a book, an autobiography by a famous footballer.

The guy is straight. Yet the effect of the taunting about his sexuality was terrible. Fascinating reading. Read the article.

How gay slurs almost wrecked my career

Exclusive extracts from his autobiography reveals that taunts over his sexuality, which began as a dressing-room joke, nearly drove him out of the game

Graeme Le Saux

Read it, from beginning to end. And think of what is happening when Ssempa taunts us on radio that we are sick, and move around in diapers nappies. When anyone who talks in favor of us is castigated. When Nsaba Buturo says we need help, and rubbishes a doctor who insists that that is not true. When the churches preach against us, and the govt lets us die of HIV, and the papers sell our details for a pittance.

It is not a joke. It hurts, a lot. Do not do it, beware when you are doing it.

Oh yes, we are pretty thick skinned as gay people, we have to be, but that comes at a price which is too big.

Kuchus all, we are also human. We also feel it. We are human beings who are gay.

GayUganda