Friday, March 25, 2011

Collateral Damage



I am getting real lazy at blogging. Nope, cannot even blame writer's cramp. Or bloggers virus, or whatever…. Just me, me, and moi. But, today was a good new day.


No. It was yesterday. For the first time, the govt of Uganda, through its official spokesperson, kind of kicked away the Anti-Homosexuality Bill. Heard the news on evening tv yesterday. Took the morning to digest it


Fact is, the Executive thought it a bad idea. But, the President must have given his assent before MP Bahati, who is Treasurer to the Ruling party, came up with the bill. No way it was his bright brain child….. [snort]


So, the govt says, no. We don't want it.


But, is it just the govt doing this so that the blame can go to the Parliament? LOL. Stranger things happen in my beautiful country. So, will have to watch and wait and see. Will be glad when this parliament ends. Gosh, had never even thought of having to look forwards to such a point in time. Bahati… well, bad luck to him.


Got across this article, about the collateral damage to people who come into contact with confused us. Confused gay men, who might try to pray away being gay.


That is a tough time to us. But, what of to the women who may get married to us? Tough luck, all through. Nope. Would not want to visit this nightmare on anyone.


Here is an excerpt.

I found out my husband was attracted to other men during a two-hour nighttime road trip down a lonely stretch of HWY 30 between Abilene and Fort Worth, Texas.  He came clean with me there in the car as he drove. 

I remember drawing my knees up to my chest, fighting the urge to cry uncontrollably, while at the same time suppressing the constant gagging reflex to throw up. I can't remember a time when I more longed to be held and rocked by my Daddy than that moment. The pain was so overwhelming, so intense, that I felt dwarfed and small in the face of it. 

Thinking back on it takes me to a place I do not like to be. A place from whence I've come that was dark and filled with despair.

For many months after the revelation, I was haunted by the fact that he had been forced to tell me. It was not something he had shared willingly. While he wasn't currently "acting out" or cheating on me at the time of the reveal, my emotional health had disintegrated to the point of near suicide from difficulties in our still new marriage. 

It was his former best friend, and best man at our wedding, who forced the issue of his "coming out" to me. This married friend had been in a three-year love affair with my husband prior to our getting married. My husband married me believing he could once and for all overcome his then unwanted attractions and have a successful marriage with me.  In his estimation, I was the perfect woman for him. He was probably right about that. However, he was wrong about pretty much every other assumption he had made about marrying me.

What my husband hadn't counted on was the fact that his same-sex attraction issues belonged entirely to him. I had nothing to do with them and certainly could not do ONE THING to help in his battle to overcome them. 





AfroGay said...

Well, GUG: You might remember that in December 2009 I guessed at how the bill had come to be. At the time, I was half guessing with a little help from people in high places who had neither interest in the bill nor any reason to talk to me about it. This has been a case of MU7 clearing up a mess he didn't create.

As for the woman told ... oh dear. Oh dear

Andrea said...

Yeah! I'm so glad they've decided not to pass it, at least for now!

You're so right -- conservatives NEVER think about the poor women who find themselves married to a gay man who can never love them the way they deserve. Of course, to many extreme Christians, a woman is less important than a man, so why consider her feelings?

Post a Comment