A Gay Ugandan and Religion 3

Why do human beings need religion?

I do not know the answer to that. But I think we do. Need religion that is.

Take gay Ugandans, kuchus. If you were to listen to the religious leaders in Uganda talk about us, you would sincerely wonder what kind of people we must be.

Mufti Mubajje, spiritual leader of the Moslems in Uganda, wants us exiled on an island on Lake Victoria, till our death. So that no other kuchus taint other Ugandans. When Pastor Ssempa, he of the ‘Rainbow Coalition against Homosexuality’ is talking about us on national television, his distaste is palpable. He spits, or makes spitting noises when referring to us. He is an HIV activist (so he says) and his distaste for us is so complete that he believes we gay men do not deserve an HIV prevention programme because we are illegal. And when something is illegal, the government should not facilitate it. His words, not mine. Unfortunately, his opinion does matter in Uganda.

The Church of Uganda has decided to be one of the leaders of the schism between it and other congregations of the world wide Anglican fellowship. The Catholic church? Well, did you hear the Pope’s Christmas or New Years message saying that we gay people are one of the threats to world peace?

Yet, still, gay people do want to believe, in religions, in gods, who others are so absolutely sure reject them.

We are human beings. In as much as we are human beings, we do have a right to believe. Just like other human beings. We have a right to faith, though the majority seem to be obsessed with our sinful selves.

My lover went to the priest that he wanted to talk to.

Told you he was a Catholic, but he has spent a lot of time out of church recently. He feels persecuted. He feels he no longer belongs, so he wanted to face this with a priest.

He tells me he talked to the priest, told the priest that he was in danger of losing his faith because of the Church’s opposition to his sexuality. He was not feeling welcome anymore.

I only know what my lover tells me, but he did come back in high spirits. The priest encouraged him to attend church. Stated that we are all sinners, and that homosexuals are not more sinners than other people. That he should recommit, and the other problem would be solved. My lover insisted that it was not a problem. That he was not going to go into thinking of it as a problem. And that it may be an issue but it was not a problem.

The priest reluctantly agreed. So my lover says.

He came back in high spirits, did my lover. I am fairly sure that he found the priest unprepared. Probably the guy is going back to check on the ‘catholic doctrine’ on homosexuality. Maybe he will invite him back for a more detailed talk.

Myself, I am grateful. At least, for now, we are together. Of course his faith will continue to be a challenge.

Me and my lover, we cannot talk about faith and religion. My views and his are so radically different that we tend to agree to disagree. Here I can only look on and support him as and when I can. But I have lost the empathy to belief that I used to have.

Anyway, crisis controlled for now. Hopefully.

Though I must note that we stayed in bed this Sunday morning. He did not mention going to church. I did not remind him or suggest anything like it!

Strategic omission, on my part!

GayUganda

Wake up, You are a Bigot.

Its been a wet day in Kampala. Wet, rainy, soggy, and dull, dull, dull. Temperatures have not mirrored that gloomy outlook, but they have been bordering cold to me.

Actually been a nice day. Sunday.

Won’t talk about waking up late. Seems I do it on Sunday, as a matter of fact. There are additional benefits to sleeping in Sunday morning. Especially when the weather forecast is for rain and the chill of rain all day long. Funny that we get many showers, but it is not so usual to get a full day of rain. Ugandan weather is sunny beautiful, though even the rain is a blessing.
No church for me. I seem to remember when my love used to leave me in bed so that he could go to church. No longer. These days I leave him in bed so that I can look at the beauty of the morning.

Church.

Yesterday, someone who used to know me eons ago asked me where I go to church these days. I said I no longer go. He was surprised.
One time I was a Christian fundamentalist. Not a committed Christian, but fundamentalist. Now I am not. I had not noticed the path I had taken. I had become a bigot.
Seated on the fence, proudly pointing out the logs in other people’s eyes. I had a tree in mine. But was completely oblivious of that fact.

I have railed against Christians on this blog. And there are other posts which I did not release, because I suddenly had some insight into the tree in my eye. Yeah, I am no Christian, but plenty other people find joy in that faith. And it is their business. I do have a bias against being religious. Same thing, actually. But again, having a Christian respect me for my right not to believe means that I have to respect their right to believe. Where that right encroaches on my freedom, I may have issues. But not because they believe what I do not.

That was an interesting insight.

I have taken it a step further. Ever wondered how much our view of the world is coloured by our prejudices? I did not, until I consciously started nixing the thought that so-and-so is a Christian. Just look at the person, and remember that he or she is a human being. And that is enough. One may or may not be religious, but that is in addition to being a human being.
A revelation to me.

Yes, my thought processes have taken years to be formed. I don’t think that I will not have those ‘automatic’ reactions of negativity when a person professes his or her religion. Yet I had never understood the hold they had on my own perception of people. Simply seeing a person as a human being, and not as a Moslem, or Christian, or ‘saved’ or the myriad other religions.

Interesting thought. Tearing up my own prejudices, even those I am not aware were there before.

GayUganda

What a god you serve!

No. I don't believe. Not so my partner. He believes; fiercely, passionately, completely. Fact is, after coming out to my pastor brother, him and my partner seem to have teemed up to 'bring me to faith'. Though my partner admits it seems like an impossible objective!

This is my opinion. Not that of other gay Ugandans. Particularly not that of gay Ugandans who believe, Christians, Moslems etc. I sincerely believe that it is your right to believe, and not to be rejected from Church or Mosque. As it is my right not to believe.

I know I may anger many with this. But it is funny when a Christian tells me sincerely that they do not hate me. That they do not hate me as a gay Ugandan. They believe it. But unless one acts like my brother did, I cannot believe it. And this is how some Christians reacted to us coming out.

What a god you serve!

a god, gods, I've never seen
nor are gods my familiars.
it's you that I see,
self proclaimed servant of god-
his image on earth, you say

of him, you I see preach,
fire, damnation and brimstone.
me condemning always-
that thence shall be my fate.

Hell!

what a god you serve,
all lather, blood and gore,
demanding of me sacrifice,
me that him not know!

me damning, me devilry, me harloting-
why ever would he make of me,
universal punching bag?
or to sport me he made,
universal bowl for spit?

what a god you present-
shameless demand from I's.
what a god you serve,
sexless, beauty-less, tepid with hate!
what a god you serve,
rising early acoyltes to seek.

a god, any god I pray-
save me hence I beg,
from his god, hell and damnation.
may my knees not shrivel, not bend,
before yonder hate filled god,
nor seek ever to know,
a god like to the one you serve!

(c) GayUganda 07/09/07

Way to Go!

Yes, we have a long way to go.

I was passing through the Monitor’s SMS page. They ask readers to send text messages on their opinions on certain topics in the news. This is about homosexuality and rights in Uganda. Well, we have a long way to go, just to convince our country mates that we are human beings.

Yet, because we are human beings, that is the edge that we have. Someone once told me that we shall win. Just because our demands are right. And they are demands. Not requests. To be left in peace. The dignity of human beings. The recognition that we are, that we are different, but also that we are human beings.

It is so basic. It is so simple. And it is so radical.

A part of humanity that is persecuted by the rest of humanity, the rest of our communities. But in us is the seed of salvation for the world. Because it is when we recognise that being different does not take away from our basic humanity that we learn the very essence of being human.

I muse that there must be some evolutionary need for my sexuality. Why is it so consistent? Why has it been around since time immemorial? Why does it persist despite the social condemnation? Because there is a Darwinian selection advantage. There must be.

Paraphrasing ‘Sherlock Holmes’ (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle), when all possible reasons are eliminated, then the impossible must be the reason. We know a lot, but we do not know enough about certain things. Despite the explosion of our knowledge.

We put faith before knowledge,
lead knowledge with faith,
doubting knowledge when faith, knowledge contradicts.

Faith;
it can, will be a prison,
worse than granite walls, steel bars
when very essence of knowledge
faith doubts, contradicts;
pulling knowledge apart,
ridiculing very intelligence
in the Name of god.

Worse is when
faith leads us be-
less than human,
animal in cruelty, merciless in punishment,
in the Name of God.
Faith is, can be, a boon and bane,
freedom and prison.

©GayUganda 04/09/07