Friday, August 28, 2009

Ex Gay

When I heard the news about George Oundo, I was stuck by one thing.

Ok, has been on my mind a lot. Not the glee about Ssempa being bitten by Oundo. Nor the fact that I had predicted it. But by who made the announcement. Paul Kagaba, as Chairman of a group called ‘Ex Gay Uganda’.

It may be no coincidence that the name is a derivative of this blog. Morbid fame, of a sort.

But there is something underneath, something morbidly funny about what Ssempa has done.

George Oundo, aka ‘Georgina’ was a flaming queen of queens.

I wish I had a photo of him in his regalia. A flaming, shocking homosexual. Shocking to the eyes, happy to play on that shock value in his life. He played on it. When most of us were hiding our sexuality to the best of our ability, he was out there, showing it to the world. Oh, that was George. The real, natural, uncamouflaged George Oundo.

Ssempa took this individual, and accepted that in about a month of conversations with him, he became heterosexual. In another month, he had turned him into an activist, for the anti-gay agenda.

Truth is, George Oundo in this case has also been a victim. Of Ssempa’s over weaning ambition. A willing, and paid up victim. But a victim.

Ssempa should know enough (bar his lack of good common sense), that a ‘homosexual’ cannot become heterosexual, at the snap of Ssempa’s finger. I know that I cannot become heterosexual. I trust medical science enough. I mean, I cannot believe that major scientific societies can go out of their way to affirm that I cannot be ‘cured’ of homosexuality. They have studied what I am. They have had a lot of time, data and human history to come to a conclusion. Ssempa negated all that history.

I have read histories of ‘ex-gay’ people.

And, I know my own history. Yes, once upon a time, soon after coming to terms with the fact that I was homosexual, the over aching desire of my heart was to win free of this curse. I saw it as a curse. That was me, at that time.

I was a Christian. I prayed. I fasted. I cut myself off all manifestations of sexuality. I ‘believed’ that I could be healed, and that I was healed of this cancerous manifestation of sin in my weak body. I was deceived. I was self deceiving.

And, I have read the histories of ‘ex-ex-gay’ people. We are all human beings. And, if we are true to ourselves, it is not hard to understand the kind of hell a person can, and will go through, trying to deny his or her normal, god endowed sexuality in the name of a mirage. We are human. And for the sake of the ideals we believe in, we shall try.

I don’t blame nobody for trying. I tried myself. And failed.

But I am not happy with anyone who convinces others that one will succed. In the name of God. That is a blasphemy, of the highest order.

Anyway, Ssempa was convinced that he had achieved this miracle with George Oundo in about a month. (Even Exodus International would not declare success in less than a couple of years!!!!! A miracle indeed.)

But then came the most shameless exploitation of a vulnerable person for the sake of another political ambitions.

Dear Pastor Ssempa took the new George, the ‘healed’ George, and started parading him on television, on fm radio, at rallies, and in church. He had a huge story to tell. How he was snared into homosexuality. How he was snaring others into homosexuality. How he was healed. George didn’t have much to say, beyond that. George being George, started coming up with some fantasies. (Truth to tell, he was in a situation where, fed by what the others believed, he just had to ‘confirm’, their prejudices, and he would be believed. Even when telling huge, self evident lies. He was simply the concrete evidence that they had been looking for. And they didn’t question this free food on a platter. Even when they were ‘paying’ for it. Wonder why these fools were led to believe the conman who led them down the Kayanja path?.) There was a ‘Homosexual Agenda’. It was being funded by big donors from outside the country. There was lots of money being spent on it, up to a million Uganda shillings a day. He had gone to Nairobi for training. Recruitment was being done in schools and universities. etc, etc, etc.

The more the spotlight grew on him, the happier the anti-gay movement was. Their god breathed, god blessed plan was going on. George told lies. I protested about them on this blog, and wondered how it was possible to believe these naked lies. But I cant be believed. Because I am gay, and an unrepentant one. One anonymous commentor who engaged me a lot castigated me to let George tell his story.

Well, George did tell his story.

And, he was sending us sms messages telling us how he was starving. Sexually. Problem was, no one at that time wanted to be known as knowing the premier homosexual of Uganda. Reformed homosexual, that was. Not even his stable of boys, many of who, at that time, he had led to Ssempa. And they had sworn to being cured, also.

Er, the craze was a big thing. People were being cured, left right and centre. Some of us were being blackmailed or extorted. Dear George is not a very nice character, as a matter of fact. And, the price to pay for being kept out of the newspapers was to cater to his lifestyle. His new celebrity status.

The pendulum swung. Reached its zenith, and swung back.

Slowly, but surely, George’s true nature has come up.

Poor Ssempa. Stung by the one he paid to smear Kayanja, and now by George Oundo, the prince of ex-gays. The result was as inevitable as inevitable.

Poor George Oundo. Reaping the results of his self deception. Maybe I shouldn’t pity him in anyway. Stupidity has its own rewards. And there is a reward in being honest with one’s self. It is called self respect.

Pity the other guys, the ones collected in the group ‘Ex Gay Uganda’. Pity them, for they are at the mercy of a shameless, power hungry politician. They may never know it, but they will dance to the strings of Pastor Ssempa until they fall. Pity Paul Kagaba, who is in it for the money and nothing else.


ugh, pity gug, for salivating over the fall of an enemy!!!!! Oh well, forgive me, but I was realy hurt by Ssempa, Oundo and co. They hurt me in more ways than one. Have to remember, and release some of that venom. Of course, some of the scars are permanent. But that is life. We fall, get up, move on. That is life.

But, it has been a great day…!


gug

3 comments:

Skorrdal said...

Dear gug

I always get angry, reading about something like this. There are some ministers in Iceland, saying that they can "heal" homosexuality. I have had to write many letters and articles to fight against this practice, but still they claim their "healing" - in the name of Christ! What a sorry crowd.

In few cases their "healing" has ended with suicide of those who got it; I have lost a good friend because of this - he took his own life. And my country is suppose to be very favourable to us gays. Perhaps this will change in the year to come; parliament will change our marriage-laws so there will only be one law for all couples. Perhaps those ignorant ministers will stop - but I don't think so; they believe that they have the only truth.

Keep up the good work; the good fight will never end, until the "righteous" are cast out and the true masters of love will win. That day will come!

Scott said...

Gug,

Don't feel bad whatsoever - feel free to celebrate the demise of George Oundo!

I'm sure you've read comics before: do the superheroes stand back and let the villains take over? Don't let these con artists fool you - sometimes you MUST fight back to have a little peace and quiet.

Gay Ugandans should make signs which says: "Way to dive-bomb your 'ex-gay career', Oundo!".

Mark Zamen said...

This is a very good essay. The anger and frustration you convey is fully justified. The very notion that aversion/conversion or "reparative" therapy has validity is absurd, as is the idea that homosexuality is an illness that needs to be cured. Hence the plaudits owed to the APA for its recent report; it, in effect, debunks that concept. However, we have along way to go. It is a sad fact that a large segment of society, both in the U.S. and abroad, still regards gay men and women as second-class citizens - or worse. That is the salient point of my recently released biographical novel, Broken Saint. It is based on my forty-year friendship with a gay man, and chronicles his internal and external struggles as he battles for acceptance (of himself and by others). More information on the book is available at www.eloquentbooks.com/BrokenSaint.html.

Mark Zamen, author

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