Saturday, August 15, 2009

Saturday Eve


I cannot look out. Dark, outside. Inside bright with light. A small island of light, just like the whole city is, at night. From Namirembe hill it looks fantastic. Stand, sit, gawp in any way that you like. It looks like a huge bowl of darkness with diamond stars twinkling in the depths. Darkness neuters the distances. It is calm, and quiet, and incredibly restful.

Sadly, that is not where I am, at the moment.

I am inside, looking out. And it is Saturday evening. I just hope I can go out and enjoy myself. Drink, fill my eyes with eye candy. Maybe snag a beauty or two- you know, get a number, make an assignation…! Oh, I am married! Doesn’t stop one from dreaming, does it?

I have not posted much in the last few days. Thing is, with Ssempa dealt a well earned blow, the forces of anti-gayism are still recuperating. Oh, they will come up with something to say, something outrageous, something out of this world, in the name of kicking my sexuality out of the country.

But for now, it is quiet on that front.

So, I can forget that for a while, and remember a few silent things. Like being in love, yeah, and looking and seeing and salivating. Cruising they call it. Never touching….!
And reading some poetry.

Oh, besides the daily, mundane things, earning the pretty penny to stroke my internet addiction. The net is supposed to be cheaper, but we are yet to see that. Exorbitant prices charged, I was already calculating my savings. Sigh, these are Ugandans. Maximizing profits.

Rain. It threatened.

A storm of wind, leaves, dust came in from the west, drizzled all over the city, and then disappeared. There is drought in the country. I hear Nairobi has no water. Kampala has the huge reservoir at its back, but the land is thirsty. Very thirsty, dry, and hard. Dust, the wind picked it up, dusted everything in sight.

For a few minutes I thought it would rain. But it was not to be.

Maybe another day. Meantime, I hope the night out is as interesting as my expectation of it.



Princess said...

I miss this you, the happy you. Glad to see you can still come out once in a while. :)

spiralx said...

...and at the risk of saying what others have said in the past, I think you've got it arse-about-face.

Your daily life is lived with your man, your job, your friends, and to a lesser extent, your family. That's where you focus is, and should be.

The narrow-minded bigots, and the evilly self-righteous, along with the criminal and the insane, will always be with us. You learn to accommodate them, at least partly, by making the centre of your life a haven for "the good, the beautiful and the true". And - like the sun - radiating that out to the world around you.

You may not be able to do much more. You should certainly be doing no less.

gayuganda said...

Well, well, Princess.
Yeah, I do notice the difference. The happy me, vs the Angry me.

Thanks spiralx...! Arse about face indeed! ha ha! The anger has to be controlled, harnessed, channeled. Not to let it overwhelm, but to let it be like a fire in the belly, energy to fire one up, rather than the heat of rage to guide one.

Like the focus. From the negative to the positive. So be it.

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