Wednesday, May 20, 2009



What does one do when the enemy seems intent on scoring own-goals?

You sit back, and laugh and cheer- because it is an incredible sight.

It is so in Uganda at the moment. Anyway, for those of us who seem to be fascinated by the vagaries of (my) sexual orientation. Ssempa and Co, are particularly interesting in this anti-gay pursuit. The fight of fights, the fight of the century.

Not everybody believed them when they started. They have held conferences, they have held press conferences. They have accused gay activists of everything from ‘recruitment’ to eating children alive. We are a clear and present danger.

But that was not enough.

A witch hunt was started. Most of us gays are small fry. Almost insulting. We do our thing when and where we can, and count on the general blindness of our countrymen to keep us well hidden in our closets. And in general, we do succeed. Oh, by the time you are a big fish, it is so necessary to be well and truly closeted, the light of day cannot surprise your closet. Survival of the fittest, my dear.

Ask me…! We do succeed, because, apparently, after making the headlines continuously for more than 3 months, we seem to have gone back to ‘normal’. Oh, there are more cases of blackmail, extortion and arrests than usual. And I sincerely hope it will not happen to me… and pray that it happens to someone else (I am human), but life is in its own rut. Frankly, life is hard. Where I will get the next … does not matter so much if I am very hungry, and I do have to work!

But I digress.

The witch hunt turned inwards. Not content with attacking and imprisoning us small fry, gay Ugandans, it turned to the ‘enemies’ of Ssempa and Co. The other pastors. Pastor Wars. It is very easy. Just accuse one of the big one… Sodomy.

Incredibly entertaining. Evening after evening, a new episode of this soap opera is written. Main actors, Ssempa and co, a few other ‘attendant’ figures, on the periphery.

I have written before that Ssempa is markedly free of the burden of intelligence. Oh, he is charismatic, and single mindedly ‘anti-gay-activist’. But he is remarkably devoid of intelligence. This holy crusader has turned inwards, and is busy tearing into his own denomination. Eviscerating the body to spite the nose. And it is bloody!

Its all about one big time pastor. Robert Kayanja. He has been accused of the big deed. Sodomy. The guy is connected. In real time politics. And he is powerful. Really powerful, all the way to State House.

But with power comes envy, and jealousy. And vulnerability.

And some very nice self serving people get to tear down the big fish. All in the name of ‘god and country’ as Georgina has been saying (oh, on that, have you got Georgina’s account for donations for the anti-gay fight? Quick and donate…!). Kayanja is supposed to be gay. He is fighting the allegations. And, suddenly, accusers are crawling out of the very woodwork. Vultures, circling. Sensing a big, belly flop, exposing the underside.

Ssempa and Co are very busy tearing down the big fish in the Ugandan Pentecostal waters. Think of the US Catholic church, embroiled in the paedophile cases. And this time it is the princes of the church, bishops earnestly tearing into one another, all in the name of ..god, did I say?

It is positively hilarious.

Oh, why should I laugh? Cause I am amused. In conversation with one dude last night, guy told me that these anti-gays are just plain demented. We are, and will continue to be. Hitler tried to wipe us out, and failed. Will Ssempa succeed?

Just think how lovely Ssempa’s denomination looks like now….!

And that fight, ugly as it is, is exposing Ssempa and co. Don’t think they mind- the guys are too oblivious of basic logic. But then, who is to quarrel with that? Me, I am too happy that the guns are turned inwards. However the controversy is resolved, I will definitely be a winner! The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Even when they are busy hitting out at themselves. Incredibly, un-resistibly, breathtaking. The sight, the feel, the newspapers these days!

By the way, talking of allegations, I have always been niggled by my gaydar near Dear Martin Ssempa. Oh, I have no ‘proof’. But seems so many kuchus here have this thought that when I am told that he cruises gay bars outside the country, I feel hopeful.

Ah, I don’t out people, not at all. But with Ssempa, I will lovingly make that exception. If anyone out there has any knowledge of dear Martin in any ‘compromising’ situations, please send me a hint. All in the name of god and country of course. Nothing malicious, I assure you.

Anything, anything, I pray.

Now, back to the on-going soap opera…!




spiralx said...

The levels of stupidity, ignorance and sheer vindictiveness involved,are indeed hard to respond to other than laugh, or sigh. And to think that they do, indeed, have links into government - something which says very little for government.

Don't forget, though: a pack of hyenas may snarl and fight among themselves for spoils, but they still turn and unite against a (perceived) common enemy.

(And isn't it pathetic that such an analogy can be made...! These people wouldn't know true Christianity if they fell over it on the street).

Anonymous said...

you're all so stupid.....Foolish....eehhhhhhhh

spiralx said...

Anonymous.....boring idiot.....can't string two words together...right-wing bigotry....wrongness...

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