Travels

Hi Ladies and Gents,

Kind of hard to keep blogging on the go. Either one is too tired to compose something with sense, or one is sleeping, or attending meetings which are endless.

Little time to read poetry even, which is worse.

So, for the time being I am putting off updates of my odyssey through the world, hoping almost aimlessly from one point to another, till I get back to beautiful Kampala, where the sun shines and one feels hot because of the sun. (Not because one is embarrassed!!)

GayUganda

This Strange Fellow

I had not thought about the face I present to the cyber-world. Or to my fellow Ugandans that encounter me in my forays and blogs.

I know myself. And with that strange insight common to all of us, I expect that the others will know me. So I assume that they do. I know my profile is scanty on details. It has to be. I do live in Uganda. Yet I assume that any Ugandan would be at least comfortable with my being a Ugandan.

Course it is not correct. I am gay. I am a gay blogger, blogging from Uganda, and willing to talk knowledgeably about my sexuality, my lover, and my personal life in Uganda. Strange. Very strange.

If I was outside the country, it would be no big deal. But I am inside the country. Before, I was this invisible gay guy, the homosexual that everyone is talking about. One of the masked fellows who came out at the press conference. Now I have shed a bit of my anonymity. Claimed some space in cyber world, and invited others in.

I know many Ugandans do not think they know any person who is gay. Or that they know for sure is gay. So I am a curiosity.

I didn’t understand what I was to others. I am so comfortable with what I am, that I did not consider the reception that others would give me. That is, until one of them commented that the others were not commenting on my blog. And that he had also been a bit reluctant to put a link to this blog on his blog.

Oh, I have been received with curiously open hands by some. The 27^th Comrade seems to have no problem engaging me in dialogue. He has admitted that he is leery of me, and it is him who gave me the insight into other Ugandan bloggers reaction. He has accepted that I am part of the diversity that Uganda is. Gerald, I first met when I saw his discussion on the legalisation of homosexuality in Uganda. I commented on it. And stirred the pot. And we have had a fairly interesting conversation there.

At first I was impassioned by the myths which seem to be prevalent. Then I went into ‘lecture mode’. But I have to give it to my fellow Ugandans. Yes, some are pretty intransigent. I am gay, so I am sub-human. Period. But like always, a few are able to give me a day in court. At least in Cyberworld!

May the debate continue!

GayUganda

A Mistake, My Mistake

This morning (30/08/07), I was surfing the net. The blogosphere, as it is called. I got across this nest of blogging Ugandans. I was amused. Not seen too many of my type. I mean my country men and women.

Then I realised that they were discussing homosexuals. The debate that I have been so happy we instigated just a few weeks ago. And I settled down to read. By the end I was incensed. I felt dehumanised. Really angry. They were and are Ugandans. Most likely mid to high income earners, and they did claim to have at least some acquaintances in Uganda who are gay. But they sincerely did not believe that gay Ugandans are human. The humanity seems to stop when a person is defined gay. So, he has a contagious disease. They should come out so that the world knows them. So that they can keep us away from their children.

We are curiosities. We are something that is more than curiosities. We are rare things to be stared at and warn the children about. One said that she will keep her children away from us.

Now, as I write, one of my nephews is looking over my shoulder. He is a bright one. He is in P1, and now his brother comes near. And they are happy being near their uncle. Of course hate is learnt. These kids will not learn to hate me, until they are told to stay away from me. Or they may just as well learn to reject hate. They may say that their uncle is something that they respect. A human being. And they will think that if gay people are like me, then they cannot be bad people. That will be in the future.

I was fuming by the time I finished reading one blog entry. I must say I lashed out in anger. I was so ashamed of what supposed friends actually think about what I am.

But that was some time ago. I have cooled down now.

Dialogue is good. It is what I seek, that people may know more about me, and kind of beat the myths about my sexuality. Horrible hurtful myths. That is why we had the debate. That is why we came out and have started this media campaign. Because we are tired of the closets that seem to be a perennial part of our society.

But then I should not be hurt if there is something wrong with the way that they think. The very myths that I am keen to dismiss are the ones making me rail against these guys.

Ok. That was my mistake.

Have to remember that my strength, our strength does not lie in the numbers. Our strength lies in the rightness of our cause. Cony. But very very true.

So, if you are reading this blog and you are one of those Ugandan bloggers, remember, yes, I was incensed when I left that nasty comment. But it was also because you seem to think that because I am gay I am less than human. I have to tell you that I did not ask for this blessing like I did not ask for my dark skin. But because of the insight that I have into myself, I would not give it back for anything. Being gay is part of me, and it is part of what makes me what I am. It is such an integral part of my makeup that I will no longer satisfy my detractors by wishing it away. I will not act like Senator Craig, recently in the news. I will not be like Pastor Haggard. I am, and will remain gay and proud, a Ugandan.

GayUganda

A Return

Yes, there has been a gap. A big one, a considerable one.

I have been procrastinating. It seems too big a task, to start writing again. Then someone rang me to tell me about the blog. I thought he knew about it, but apparently he had not read it. Most people tend to be put off by prose! He was laudatory. I was encouraged, and I thought, yes, I will write again. I will put down more of my daily thoughts and ruminations.

So, why the gap?

I am of a mind not to explain. After all, the blog is mine (Ahem!!!!) And no one is going to force me to bare my thoughts. I do it (compulsively) of my free will!

Ever watched a child learn to walk? The uncertainty, the stumbling wide gait, the falls and cries. That is me. Yet I am no child, though I will claim that as a human being I have the right to fall and the sheer stubbornness to try and stand again.

Oh yes. I fell.

I stumbled and fell. Rolled downhill and was bruised and battered at the end. Fell into the muck and nearly drowned, barely keeping my head above the stinking putrefying essence of it. But I did not drown. I am still alive. The spark of life still burns in me, and that is something.

Ever thought of life as the sheer continuity of life? That flame. Once it is extinguished, then it is gone. Before it is extinguished, it still burns. And it may gutter and falter, or may turn into a brush fire. When it still is, whether it still is, that is what is important.

I will fall, and get up. Battered, bruised, aching. But if I am still alive, life goes on. And like the child learning to walk, sometimes I will cry in utter frustration, other times I will glee with joy as I land on my bum. But I will always get up and stumble on.

So, to all out there, welcome a bright new day!

GayUganda

Starting this Blog

I have been blogging for a few days now. Created my first blog at my website, Gay Uganda, but soon realised that Yahoo's restriction to 'mature' content can be something to fear. I do not want to lose my blog and thougths and everything all at once, because someone thinks that I should not publish those thougths.
Anyway, I am going to do this. Post here, and at yahoo, in effect have 2, 3 identical blogs running, huh? Will be very interesting, keeping up with all.
But it is so interesting sharing my thoughts with the world that i do not think that I will be stopping any time soon.
Welcome to my blog. If you want to see older blogging thougths, go to my website Gay Uganda, or on my Yahoo 360 page, or anywhere that you think I am. I tend to fly through as an anonymous cyberspacer.

gug