Thursday, August 2, 2007

A Return

Yes, there has been a gap. A big one, a considerable one.

I have been procrastinating. It seems too big a task, to start writing again. Then someone rang me to tell me about the blog. I thought he knew about it, but apparently he had not read it. Most people tend to be put off by prose! He was laudatory. I was encouraged, and I thought, yes, I will write again. I will put down more of my daily thoughts and ruminations.

So, why the gap?

I am of a mind not to explain. After all, the blog is mine (Ahem!!!!) And no one is going to force me to bare my thoughts. I do it (compulsively) of my free will!

Ever watched a child learn to walk? The uncertainty, the stumbling wide gait, the falls and cries. That is me. Yet I am no child, though I will claim that as a human being I have the right to fall and the sheer stubbornness to try and stand again.

Oh yes. I fell.

I stumbled and fell. Rolled downhill and was bruised and battered at the end. Fell into the muck and nearly drowned, barely keeping my head above the stinking putrefying essence of it. But I did not drown. I am still alive. The spark of life still burns in me, and that is something.

Ever thought of life as the sheer continuity of life? That flame. Once it is extinguished, then it is gone. Before it is extinguished, it still burns. And it may gutter and falter, or may turn into a brush fire. When it still is, whether it still is, that is what is important.

I will fall, and get up. Battered, bruised, aching. But if I am still alive, life goes on. And like the child learning to walk, sometimes I will cry in utter frustration, other times I will glee with joy as I land on my bum. But I will always get up and stumble on.

So, to all out there, welcome a bright new day!


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