Ok. Not realy fired. But understand that we need less of your services. So, will you take a cut in the income?
As a good suspicious employee, I will suspect that something is happening. I have worked too long for my dear employer to be summarily dismissed. But, that can be done in increments. And I may decide to resign to prevent further embarassment. Not being needed, but you hang on desperately.
Maybe, and maybe not. Ok, I was outed by the Red rug. That was last month. I thought that I had done something to create a soft landing for myself. I talked to my immediate boss. I talked to my ultimate boss. And things seemed to be cool.
A few days to the end of the month, I get the 'bad' news. Lots of apologies, lots of sorries, but it all adds up to me losing part of my income. And being left with this suspicious feeling that it is because of my damned sexuality. Or the sudden suspicion of it that my colleagues at work have!
Yet I am lucky. I am like most Ugandans. A lot of part time jobs to make the ends meet. It is at the other places that a fight has been occuring, just beneath the surface, buy my friends seem to be winning- I still am a member of that team. For how long?
And I am lucky. I do have options. A friend was about to start a job. Suddenly that is on hold. Another is seeing suspicious foot dragging on a number of things at work. Others are having it worse. Others better.
Expected. The fact that my sexuality was so blatantly announced by the Red rug made it a given. People would know. People would gossip. And those with the ability to do something about it, in the name of god, or country, or morality, or sheer 'hate' would try to do something. And what proof have I about that? Absolutely nothing. Except I did not expect to have a decrease in income so fast, so unexpectedly, with such short notice.
But I am alive.
Think of the brighter side. I can stay up looking at the sky, reading and writing poetry. And doing things which I would rather not mention here. And I do have options!
So, nothing to do but to stay alive. And to be resilient.
We Ugandans are tough and resilient. We are, and very much a product of a tough environment. It can be tougher for me. But you know, we still are.
Not quite the time to start looking for a job. Too many people remember, it is too soon. But you know, the memories will slide, and something will happen, and I will still have my skills, and I will still be able to get a job, or something.
I am still alive, so, yeah, I can take the blow. And roll on, and I can be myself. No thanks, no pity for me. Even my lover will not be able to give it to me.