Tuesday, October 30, 2007


I am seated at home, and a message comes in on my phone. I check it out, and show it to my lover. Here is the full text.

“You man you are gay that man is not yr wife he is a man like u am so disappointed in u Jesus loves u and he is not happy. Repent, now is the time.”

A simple message actually. Someone who saw me on TV maybe. Someone who knows me enough to have my mobile number. Who knows that I live with my lover. And he knows the ‘secret’ that before I would have died rather than reveal.

True. I am scared.

I am a human being. I may appear brave and all, but I am also a human being. I said before that I had entered the lion’s den and bearded him. Yes, I have. But that does not mean that I am not scared.

A message like that is very frightening. Should I reply to the number? My lover tells me not to. I think about it for a second, and I follow his advice.

So, who is it? Why has he or she sent me the message? What do they expect? What are they capable of?

I would be stupid not to be scared. And again I would be stupid to take off and run because of this. Not stupid bravado, but just plain sense. I have outed myself. That is a fact. I do have a lot of control on many things, but this was necessary.

Just that now it is becoming more personal. A few days, I hope, and then I will have weathered it, I hope.



Carlo said...

Did you not expect to get hate mail? The question is, what are you going to do about it? I'm glad there's a man willing to admit he's scared. There's not much people can do to you that you haven't been through already in terms of verbal abuse. The ball's in your court and I'd like to see what you'll do . . .

gayuganda said...

Hi Carlo,

what do you expect me to do?

I will ignore it. Doesnt mean that I am not scared.

Interesting that you have been cultured to think men dont get scared. By the way, have you read the New Vision article on domestic violence?

spiralx said...

You should ask WBC to send you a copy of the programme they transmitted! At least you could see then what others saw - in you, or what you said!

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to let you know that u're brave, and I give you mad props for that. I want to have the same courage as you. I hope I'll have it very soon.

much luv

gayuganda said...

Hi /babyphat,

thanks for all the comments. You are very welcome.


Anonymous said...

you were on tv? my goodness gug, i go away for a few weeks and find that much has happened!

that was really brave of you to have actually said it was you. did you atually say you were gay oba you were talking about only aids?

as for the hate messages, i guess you have to expect it but its sad that you should have to live that way.

Atin said...

I am glad you chose not to entertain a dialogue with this person; he/she would have kept on at you and probably encouraged others to harass you. Your personal space has been invaded. Maybe more caution as to who you give your number

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