I have not been posting.
Sometimes one needs to sit back and think, re-asses, get back to the root, the soul of one’s self. I don’t write for the sake of writing, but write to air my thoughts, and think. I had stopped thinking, I was just reacting, had fallen into an ‘auto-pilot’ mode.
Princess wants me to post. Dear sis, it warms my heart that you are asking about me. Leornado too. I am fine.
That has been the problem. My many un-friends bitterness had kind of touched my soul. A war that has no end, ever in the need to self justify. It takes a toll.
If I want, there may never be a time to rest and asses. I mean, I can fight on, ad infinitum, till death takes me away. There will always be people who are horrified by my sexuality.
So, if I get to the point of wearing out in the fight, I have to remember that the war is not everything.
There are some beautiful things out there which have to be seen.
Thanks Ugandan girl, for your defence of me.
And thanks, all friends out there, who have missed me, and are wondering what is happening.
I am fine, and I hope to continue posting. Life is beautiful.
Good, good and good. Thanks for checking in...bitterness can certainly touch one to the core...but, I discovered, maybe only a personal solution, that when I OPEN MY WOUNDS I can sleep at night...it´s hard for me to pray for those that would harm me, and all of you too, but I do wish them a full process of going through their own trip to despair...there is no place for any of us to hide anymore and those that would abuse us must be willing to speak out and see their words of hate...I know there are great tragedies happening everyday...now in the Congo too...but, one of the greatest killers of LGBT (at all levels of society) Christians/others is the ignorance and superstitious taboo surrounding our everyday lives...some of us kill ourselves because of the pressure from society/culture...silence=death, still and always.
Love to you and yours,
Take the time-out you need.
Glad to hear that you're ok.
Will be waiting when you get back.
Life can be beautiful. It can also be horrifying. And it can be many things inbetween. The strangest thing is when it is both at the same time, and you carry a memory of beauty and terror for the same incident or place.
But - you know what? There's a gain from all of this?
It's this: you are now be able to make more deeply informed choices about what you want life to be. And how you personally can be part of that.
Because you know much better what the choices are, now.
As the wonderful Jerry Goffin/Carle King says:
But thinking young
And growing older
Is no sin
And I can play
The game of life to win...
I can recall the time
When I wasn't ashamed
To reach out to a friend
And now I think I've got
A lot more than
A skipping rope to lend
Now there's more to do
Than watch my sail-boat glide
And everyday can be
My magic carpet ride
And I can play hide and seek with my fears
And live my days instead of counting my years.
Hopw this doesn't seem too rude- but are you a guy or a girl?
(Oops, apologies - the song reference above is to Jerry Goffin and Carole King, of course. Their song, "Goin' Back").
Hey Gay Uganda,
Was just thinking about life and all...and you know what i discovered, though there are many people dont accept the concept of ones sexuality there are many more people who love and appreciate the fact that you are brave enough to stand out and shade light to the situation. Though it may seem like the war is not about to be won atleast the battle is almost there. A friend of mine told me once that at the end of every storm there is a beautiful rainbow and you know what one day the war will be won.
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