Outrage at the High Court

Ok.

The mega church in the heart of Kampala, Watoto Church, has also gotten onto the solution of the 'homosexual problem' in Uganda. Sigggggggghhhhhhh!

It is headed by a Canadian, Gary Skinner. The church that is. And, it was once called Kampala Pentecostal church. Now, it is called Watoto church after its more famous choir of orphaned children.

Here is their 'gay' programme...!

Why should you know about it? Why, why shouldnt you know about such a direct interventional approach from the American right in Uganda?!!! Well, why shouldnt I play the politics? It is a tough world. And, I aim to use all my blessings.

The project involved identifying, providing care for and reforming homosexual youth, helping them re-integrate into society.

By working closely with community leaders and others who have experience in homosexuals’ reformation, Watoto Church through this group is managing this situation in the homes and schools in their community.

Interacting with the affected families, and holding discussions with both parents and children is also helping turn the situation around.

Instead of employing disapproval tactics, Watoto church leaders have come out in love, to the aid of those entangled in the undesirable act. This church also engages in training community leaders and ministry leaders in handling homosexuality in their communities. Quest actively works with Watoto church in their school of community leadership to promote their community initiatives.”

Poor youths, who with such Christian love will be embraced. Poor kids, who will have this to deal with in Uganda!
---

By all accounts, outside the court yesterday was chaos.

Ok. First, the Rolling pebble was sued by three individuals who were 'outed' as gay. The judge slapped the pebble with an anti-rolling charm for 3 weeks. And, Tuesday, the pebble was supposed to convince the judge that it should not be stopped from tumbling down hill into cess pits of mud and hate.

So, come Tuesday, there was a court hearing. But, apparently, the lawyer for Giles Muhame was Missing in Action. So, a delay was given.

No. the action was not inside the court.

It was outside the court. Pastor Solomon Male had put in appearance. And, he was ranting. Something which was caught by AFP.

Speaking on behalf of the National Coalition Against Homosexuality and Sexual Abuse in Uganda, Pastor Solomon Male accused the court of using the ban on outing to protect "selfish, heartless and aggressive criminal offenders."

Shouting on the courthouse veranda, Male asked, "How can homosexuals who deliberately break the law claim right to privacy?"

The fracas was real. Apparently, the gay people who appeared at the court were being verbally assaulted, and pushed by Ssempas... sorry, Pastor Solomon Male's brownshirts, who were all angry that the courts of Uganda seemed to protect gay Ugandans.

Well, you see, we are self confessed homosexuals, who have no right to privacy, (remember Ssempa and the 'eat da poo poo' videos?), and because we are homosexuals, we are selfish, heartless, aggressive criminal offenders...!

Well, I am not speaking from a totally clueless position. Here is the flier that Solomon Male was handing out, on behalf of Uganda' s National coalition etc etc against homosexuality....

Read it. Hope you dont have to get a magnifying glass. Uh, I am sorry that my countrymates are so excitable.....

Have a good day.

In Uganda, it is all so 'life as usual'!

gug

Pastor Male and Giles Muhame

Life is interesting.

I am seated, looking out at some very beautiful piece of landscape. A high mountain, clothed in clouds. On the foothills houses, white, sunsplashed. Picture card perfect.

There is a wind, blowing against me, cold. Cold to my super sensitive skin. The picture is of summer idly. But, cant figure out the cold wind. I need to put on something warm.... hey, Kampala has lows of 18C, when they ever happen. Beautiful country, that. No wonder I fight to remain there....!

Life is interesting in other ways.

You know the paper in Uganda which decided to capitalise on our fabulous celebrity status as gay ugandans? Going around and showing who we are.... imagine, blowing away our illustruous veil of secrecy.....

Giles Muhame of the rolling rock was at the High Court today. Apparently, the judge was not convinced why the gentleman was not ready to defend himself. Problems with his 'wife'? Or the lawyer's? Hmmmmm! 

 A Ugandan high court judge on Tuesday extended a ban on the publication in the media of pictures identifying people as homosexuals, sparking the ire of a leading anti-gay pastor.

Judge Vincent Musoke-Kibuuka extended the ban at a Tuesday hearing in the case of homophobic tabloid Rolling Stone, which has no connection to the US magazine.

The judge had expected to hear arguments from Rolling Stone newspaper editors defending their right to out gay men and women in their new, sporadically published tabloid.

But Musoke-Kibuuke extended the ban, first issued on November 1, when Rolling Stone managing editor Giles Muhame insisted he was not ready to offer a defence, citing "a problem with my wife".

But, apparently he has a solid defence set. Just needs a wee bit more incubation. I wasnt at the court. But here is AP story.

"You have given reasons which are not very satisfactory," the judge said, prompting a mumbled apology from Muhame.

Muhame told AFP that when the case resumes on Friday, he will vehemently defend his right to publish photos he finds on gay dating websites, as he did in Rolling Stone's November 1 issue.

"I can't tell you what our defence will entail. But we will be ready. We are making very excellent notes," he said.

Do you know what I love most about that article?

It is Pastor Solomon Male. He is incensed that he cannot be allowed the chance to see the photos of gay men in the newspapers. Clearly, he believes like Bahati, that the rolling pebble was doing the world a favour, telling on people who they thought are gay.

Speaking on behalf of the National Coalition Against Homosexuality and Sexual Abuse in Uganda, Pastor Solomon Male accused the court of using the ban on outing to protect "selfish, heartless and aggressive criminal offenders."

Shouting on the courthouse veranda, Male asked, "How can homosexuals who deliberately break the law claim right to privacy?"

Homosexuality is defined in Uganda's penal code as "carnal knowledge against the order of nature", and can bring a prison sentence of seven years to life.

Male was last year investigated for libel after accusing a prominent Evangelical pastor, who is minister to Uganda's First Lady, of sexually abusing teenage boys.

Clearly, homosexuals are criminals who deserve no protection of any part of Uganda's Constitution and Laws. The man in rant.... Very, very usual characteristic for him, as it is for his colleague Pastor 'eat da poo poo' Ssempa.

 gug

Letter to the Pope

Dear Pope,

thanks for your very late guidance on all things human. But, as one human being to another, realising the power of your bully pulpit, I was wondering, will you get off the subject of HIV? I mean, hold a moratorium on all announcements, for the next 100 years, and start releasing up to date guidelines then?

Thanks. From a non-believer, feeling compelled to comment about this.

Pope Benedict XVI has opened the door on the previously taboo subject of condoms as a way to fight HIV, saying male prostitutes who use condoms may be beginning to act responsibly. It's a stunning comment for a pontiff who has blamed condoms for making the AIDS crisis worse.

The pope made the comments in an interview with a German journalist published as a book entitled "Light of the World: The Pope, the Church and the Signs of the Times," which is being released Tuesday. The Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano ran excerpts on Saturday.

---

Now, the Honourable James Nsaba-Buturo was bitter.

He lost in the primaries of his party. The rulling NRM party. So, he loses, and who is to blame?

But, those elections were wrong, because they didnt bring out a true result, Buturo as his constituency's representative. So, what is he to do? He is to become an Independent.

Now, you do know where this non-believer's prayers are with this matter. Unfortunately, or fortunately, even Buturo knows

JAMES NSABA BUTURO

Buturo is planning to stand as an independent for Bufumbira East, a constituency he had lost to former presidential assistant Eddie Kwizera.

Sources quoted Buturo as telling a meeting recently that he was rigged out by people with a “mission of promoting homosexuality”. It is the reason, Buturo said, he was not willing to “give up the fight”. Sunday Vision was unable to get a comment from Buturo, who has been outspoken against homosexuality and prostitution.

So help me deities, but I don't understand this UN vote. Does it mean that gay human beings are not under the UN's protection when they are murdered like so?

A United Nations panel’s decision to remove sexual orientation from an anti-execution resolution is “shameful” and may encourage murders of LGBT people, gay rights campaigners say.

The body voted this week on the amendment, which was passed 79-70. The vast majority of countries in support of the change were African or Arabic.

Surely, the love our countries have for us is overwhelming.

Anyway, why should I expect for more from my beloved mother land?

gug

A Holiday, with Un-Holiday thoughts

I sit in a window. Back to the sun, warming it.

Where I am, the sun plays hide and seek. I thirst for what it is at home, where it shines and shines, to be interupted now and then by brief bursts of rain.

It is out, and bright, and hot on my skin. So I sit in an apartment window, back out to the whole world, looking in, feeling the pleasant hot touch and caress of the wind, and I look in.

Morning has been beautiful.

Late, but couldn't sleep much more. Though I came in late. Thoughts invade the privacy of sleep, chase it away, make it impossible to be alone.

Breakfast, a cup of tea with milk, no sugar. Slice of bread, and, my book of poetry.

Edwin Morgan, 'Tram Ride', 1939. I opened it, read through, impressed. And I stopped, thoughts wandering. Wrote a poem, frowned, filed it- and read Edwin Morgan again.

The mind is unsettled. I cannot concentrate much, though Morgan organises my thoughts. I still have to write; still feel the need to pour them on the white sheet of paper- the screen. Smudge it with what I think.

Buturo. He is on my mind. Unsettled.

But, what can I do?

Somewhere I read that he was once a witchdoctor. Maybe he is, because he manages to unsettle me, when I should not be. When I should be relaxed, sunning myself, on a very beautiful day. Holiday that I should have taken long ago, had to be bullied into taking.

He is far away, relaxed, at least so I think.

But, I am thinking of him. And his pride in bullying us. Using his bully pulpit to literally terrorise us, the undesirables of his world.

I am thinking of that in the last post. How he stopped a sex worker conference, where they were going to talk about HIV/AIDS. Yes, the guy is a bully. And, me being his whipping boy, I feel it.

And, the last word to that article in the Monitor, when Buturo said he was confident that the Anti-Homosexuality bill would become law.

Yes, it is that bill that gives me nightmares.

I know, it is aimed at us. That bill. Last night, talking to one of us, a kuchu, I told her that she shouldnt be worried. Of course I knew she should, but what can I say? I told her, first on the lists will be us. Because we are the 'militant' homosexuals, spreading homosexuality through our blogs and writing and activism. Prison, maybe the hangman for 'repeat offenders'.

A bully drives me into a corner. I cannot sleep. I cannot rest. My mind is in overdrive.

I must sleep. And use my energies well. Because, the bigger fight is coming.

If, as Buturo prays, hopes, [Why is Bahati all of a sudden giving up-beat interviews?], if as Buturo seeks, the bill becomes law, and he comes after me, I will need all my resources at hand.

A game of cat and mouse.

Oh, I aim to be the mouse that bells the cat. Nasty little creature, bullying with its presence, and absence. Determined to force its will on us tiny little mice, driving us to death with distraction.

It is a short while...

a week, a day, a month...

It is too short, and by the end, when the session of parliament closes, and the bill is law or not, I will still be alive, taking stock.

Meanwhile, the sun is too hot on my skin. I have to move off, out of the window. The pleasant caress became a blistering touch, chasing me.

Love and life continue, repressed, closeted, but real, living.

Have a beautiful day.

gug

Cannot Rest in Peace

Hey,

that is meant literally. I didnt want to post, not anything, you know. Because, I am on HOLIDAY.

Sorry, the capitalisation is for me. I have to kind of remember that.

What brings me out of my rest? Lovely as it is?

Well, first, the Government, through Minister of Ethics and Integrity, Nsaba Buturo, stopped a conference of sex workers from happening. The letter to the hotel which was going to host the conference, and their reply are below.

But, more importantly, was this note about the cancellation that was in the Monitor.

Dr Buturo also revealed that the Anti-Homosexuality Bill, which brought controversy between government and donors, will be revisited upon completion of the Chogm debate which is on-going.

And, the fact that Bahati is going around giving interviews, here, and here, saying the Anti-Homosexulity bil is going to be made law.

Yes, there is need for me to get out of my state of sleep. Because, while I sleep, I am actually seeing an organised campaign to have me put in prison. Yes, it comes, it comes.....

And, I cannot sleep.

Now will I lie down and wait to be killed. No thanks

gug 

Dire News?. Updated

Dull day.

In a way. I mean, cloud cover grey. Little sun filtering through. It is cold, and, I have had to get some warm clothing on. That is unusual. My lover is here, braving the cold. Maybe I have a slight fever? Certainly, a hacking cough. And, he was telling me I was a mite warmer than usual in bed.... didnt stop him from winding himself round me like a vine does a forest tree. Did I complain?

No. I loved it. And, was reluctant getting out of bed.

Done some work already. Had a couple of things that I slept on, dreaming of perfecting them in the morning. And, first out of bed, reading a poem, (Winfred Owen, To ___), I dove into the computer. Productive couple of hours.

And, then I have to get online.

Have decided on a novel solution for the hunger to be online all the time. Is mine, is mine, is mine. Wont share it....!

But, was immediately tickled when I got onto facebook on the phone and heard of Mubajje's pronouncements on homosexuality in Uganda.

Now, a little background. Do I need to tell you about the high feelings that homosexuality engages in Ugandans? And, should I remind you about the Anti-Homosexuality Bill 2009, which is currently stalled in Parliament? Oh, I don't need to, I hope.

Now, fast forward to this year, yesterday.

The politicians are at the polls. Criss crossing the country, looking for votes. This is supposed to be a democracy, so, regular polls to confirm the president.

Mubajje is the leader of the Moslems in the country... the legal leader. Or the regular leader... they have factions.

He hates homosexuals. Once, he wanted us to be marooned on an island on Lake Victoria. In his opinion, once marooned there, we homosexuals would die out, since we don't 'reproduce'. And, blessed Uganda would be free of us. He mentioned this 3 times. Told the President, who apparently didnt comment. At least where the press had eyes and ears.

Well, yesterday was Eid Aduha. And, as a good politician, the President was at the celebrations. To court the Muslim vote. He is shown in this pic seated, attentive, listening to the Mufti of Uganda. 


Correction. The Pres was in Arua. He wasnt listening to the Mufti, who was in Kampala yesterday. My apologies

Mubajje had a captive audience, including the head of state. And, what did he say? The over aching problem of the country is nothing but homosexuality. So, we need the presidential candidates to state their position.

Mubajje asked all the presidential candidates to state their position on the “touchy” matter of homosexuality or else face the wrath of the pious religious faithful.

“We have not heard any candidate speaking on the matter of homosexuality yet it is against God’s teachings,” he said. “We are concerned about this matter as religious leaders and we are waiting for the presidential candidates’ position on the matter.” He said it was such “evils” coupled with other immoral behaviour that see nations crumble, adding that he is in agreement with other religious leaders opposed to homosexuality.

I was not there.

But, I am amused. Actually, flabbergasted.

Indeed, the American Culture wars are being fought in Uganda. Sincerely speaking, of all the problems in the country, is the problem of homosexuality so important to the national discourse on choosing a new leader? Is any of our presidential candidates pro-gay? Can they dare to be seen to be pro-gay? It is politically correct to be anti-gay in Uganda. What was Mubajje's intention here?

Indeed, there are some people for whom my sexuality is a deep and abiding passion. Why the hell it is, I don't know.

To Pastor Dr. Martin 'eat da poo poo' Ssempa is added Mufti Mubajje. Leader of all muslims in Uganda. [There is a rival Mufti. The Kibuli faction. But, I do know that they can also not be seen to contradict Mubajje on this front.]

What do I make of this?

I have always consistently observed that we gay Ugandans seem not to drive the conversation here. We react to provocation like this, and Ssempa, and Bahati. Why is it of such importance that these guys push an anti-gay agenda? I believe the answer to that question is important for the prosecution of this war. And, it is a bloody war.

Why?

No, again, I don't have answers to this question. What drove Mufti Mubajje, on the day when he assuredly had the Presidents attention, to push a relatively minor issue into the Presidential election debate and make it an issue?

I am very convinced that I am not that important. Of course, Mubajje may be trying to deflect from his failures, the allegations of corruption, the divisions amongst the moslems, the fact that there is a rival Mufti. But, the President was attending his mass. He was not at the rival Mufti's place, which I believe is actually an opposition stronghold. Why was he trying to define the Presidential campaigns with the issue of homosexuality?

I don't think it will catch on, but, I am curious. We do have some pretty persistent enemies.

With the Rolling Stone outings, carried further by the Onion and Red rug, I am now wondering whether we are actually facing an underhand but still consistent push to drag my sexuality into the national political debate.

Is it co-ordinated? I don't know. No intelligence from the enemy camp. Can only read what is in the papers. And, the fact that Bahati supports the Rolling stone 'Hang them' campaign. Really a serious wonderful Christian. Here are his assurances.

Mr. Bahati sounded a confident tone about the AHB. He expresses strong belief that there is time to get the Legal and Parliamentary Affairs committee to have public hearings and write a favorable report. He says he has been assured of this by the committee chair. He believes then that the second reading would take place and then as is often the case in the Ugandan parliament, the third reading would take place the same day.

But, as usual, I have to polish my weapons, and not let rust get onto the armour. Might be called on to fight the anti-Homosexuality bill. And, very soon at that.

I just hope it doesnt come to that. But, what power do I have to stand down this avalanche?

I have my will. And, the will of a few billion people. Even against the will of my country men, and those who casually incite violence.

Pessimistic assessment, this Wednesday morning. Hope you are feeling good and fine.

gug

Gay, HIV Positive in Uganda

Sunday, a friend came and told me that he had tested, and was HIV positive.

There is nothing like that shock, when you realise a friend is so burdened.

Has happened before, and I, have found myself not immune to shock, and the despair which threatens to engulf me. Not him, but me. Because I feel like I am dying, that I am the one dying.

No. I have to remember. HIV, AIDS today is a tough, serious complication to life. But, it is not quite the death sentence it was a few years ago. And, the despair and feeling of helplessness and hopelessness which possesses me is not a reflection of the reality on the ground. It is true that this is a huge, complication to life. But, it is also true that, built into our make up is a resilience horned by years and centuries. We are simply resilient, and able to tackle such minor details.

He is gay.

And, closeted.

And yes, it has happened before. Someone coming to me, telling me that they are HIV positive. When they are gay and closeted in Uganda.

Can you dare even imagine how complicated that is? I mean, don't think of the gay community as angels. We, am glad to note, are survivors. We have fought and come to maturity in a cloud of suspicion and condemnation. And, we have survived.

We haven't done it by being soft. Oh, we fail. We break down, like I did just a few months ago. We do heinous things. We lie, we subterfuge, we deny what we are so that we can survive. And, we seek one another's presence and company for comfort. Because we are in an environment that is hostile.

Darwinian principles. Survival of the fittest.

But, with the same ruthlessness, we loathe weakness. And, we think of HIV infection as a weakness. I said, we are not angels.

Double closeted, that is what my gay friends who are positive have to be. They cannot tell members of our community that they are HIV positive. And, they cannot disclose outside the community that they are gay. Of course HIV still has a huge stigma. Yes, despite the 'enlightened' attitudes now. It is still a stigmatizing condition, despite the drugs.

So, what will I do for my friend?

I will be his friend. That is what I can do. This fight is about real lives, real human beings, real pain in the real world. No abstractions, no fantasies.

Yesterday, I revived an opportunity to do something about HIV in the kuchu community. Oh, I know am gifted, but the gifts are in a frail body. The opportunity came before, and I failed. Am lucky that I was given a second chance. Another chance.

Now, for those of you not in the know, Uganda is a world wide leader in HIV prevention. You will hear that in HIV circles. No, I am not lying.

And, Uganda does not have an HIV prevention programme for gay people. Again, I am not lying.

People like Ssempa, teaching and preaching Abstinence and Being Faithful have huge influence with the Uganda AIDS Commission. Ssempa is on record saying that we cant have an HIV prevention programme for gay men. Because we gay people are illegal. Oh yes, he is. It is on this very blog. And, the head of the Uganda AIDS Commission is on record admitting after lots of pressure, that gay men were drivers to the HIV epidemic in the country. And, he also bluntly said that Uganda will not target gay men for HIV prevention.

No. I am NOT kidding you.

We protested that statement at the Kampala HIV Implementers meeting in 2008. Three of us were arrested, and prosecuted, for demanding an HIV Prevention Program for gay Ugandans. We were only released after international outcry and pressure at the International AIDS Conference in Mexico.

All these things are facts. I have documented them on this blog.

And, like a punch drunk fighter, I tend to forget them. Many times. The details of individual blows kind of gets blurred in the overall effect. I am punch drunk.

Once in a while I remember. Like now.

My friend's diagnosis hit home. Terribly home. As the one who he revealed it to, I was almost speechless. Despite having a little preparation. [I wonder, if I who is not the one burdened feel it so, then, what about him?]

But, I can do something about it. For him personally.

And, I can do something about it. For us as gay Ugandans.

Today is Eid Aduha. Sorry if I don't get the spelling right. Happy Eid day to my Muslim friends. But, I commented because I remembered that it is a public holiday in Uganda. On school days, I stand on the roadside in the evening taking in the air, relieving the stress of the day.

I have noticed a kid, a child of about twelve.

Dresses in a thin and worn blue uniform shirt, khaki pants. Carries a torn back pack. And, walks with a painful dragging gait.

He cant swing that leg. It is stiff, I don't know the reason why. But, everyday, I see the kid either going to school, or late in the evening, coming back. Tired, dragging, limping his way home.

Life can be tough. For me, and for others. I will remember that I am more than resilient. And, I can do something, something for those others who are not as lucky as I am. My gifts as a gay man, a gay Ugandan in my community, my blessings and gifts can be more advantageously used.

Yes, I can, I know.

Have a good day.

gug

Sunday Afternoon.... Sunday Morning

Sunday morning.

Am relaxed in the seating room sofa. Typing away.

Uh, work, work, work. Have a deadline to beat, and that is so yesterday. So, my Sunday, beautiful as it is, has to be spent in a computer, trying to finish what I should be doing.

Have to laugh at my friend. When I am concentrating at work, he can talk over my head, poke, slap, step on me. And I am in another universe, barely acknowledging that he is around. Anyway, he got tired of that, put the food on the sigiri [and asked me to mind it! Crazy man, of course it will be burnt. Doesnt the man learn anything!]

Anyway, he has gone to tend his beard. I did hear that, at least.

Last barb was that this 'activism' earns me no money...! Hey, hit the jackpot. But, I think it was because I had lost my concentration.

No. It doesnt earn me money. Well, Buturo may think what he wants. I have never got the 20 million USD which he promised was supposed to be mine. Yeah, these crazy people. They want to kill us, and then think that the only motivation we have is foreign monies. They are really lacking in common sense. What of the threat to our very lives? Do we count as stupid simply because we are homosexuals?

Heard a bit of news. Snippet. There may be some movement on the Bahati, Anti-Homosexuality Bill. That monstrosity is not dead. Not as yet. And, Bahati believes it will become law.

I don't know how true that is. I can only hope that it doesn't.

And, the Rolling stone, that rug has again published. Shift of focus. Before, they accused us of many nasty things, like 'recruiting' children, and other nasties. And, of course published our photos, asking that we be hanged.

After the court injunction stopping them from doing that, they are accusing us of masterminding the terrorist attacks that had more than 80 Ugandans killed on the day of the football world cup final. And of trying to assassinate the President of Uganda. Silly thing, conspiracy theories.

Incredible. Stupid. Fallacy.

Why are gay people such a threat to some people? Why do they want to stoop to the point of telling naked lies to justify having us killed?

I am ashamed to admit that these are my country people. But, they are.

Now, the importance of this new campaign strategy is funny. We are too benign to be a point of interest for the security forces of the country. Hey, I bet that I have been investigated, and am thought a benign crazed homosexual, who earns his keep in the country, and is too un-interested in politics to be a threat to them. Of course the lack of interest on my part is strategy...!

But, the likes of Giles Muhame are frustrated that the security forces are not interested in us. In his view we are terrorists. No. This is not an exaggeration. He has said so in interviews on BBC (I do have a clip somewhere) and on CNN. He believes we are worse than terrorists.

So, he goes ahead and accuses us, with not a hint of evidence, of masterminding the bombings. Bombings whose memory is still a raw wound in the minds of most Ugandans.

Yeah. You may laugh.

But, remember that Giles Muhame, and the guys who are behind him, (who I believe are Ssempa and clique), know the country, the politics.

I can, and will laugh off that accusation.

But, I am more worried of a knock on our door in the middle of the night. And, disappearance into a government 'safe house' for some non-gentle questioning. Melodramatic?

I surely hope that I am.

I have to go check the sigiri. The damned charcoal is very good at burning up everything...., uncontrolled fire you know,.. one of the reasons I always burn the food while minding it...! Hey, we all have different gifts, don't we! Mine is definitely not the kitchen.

Gug

PS. [I was lucky, this time. Just in time... whew!]

PPS. [When he came back, I found there was something else I had done wrong. Why does one have to cook to eat?]

This guy is so Dangerous...!

Its a song, isnt it?

I love being gay.

Simply love it. The challenge to life, the challenge to prejudices and perception that forces itself onto one's self. I love it.

[Jumped out of bed on the right side, you see... that is why I am crowing about something which may cause me to be 'hanged' as my countrymates feel is good and fitting.] But, see it this way, if I was straight in Uganda, what cause would I have found to challenge my very existence, every day of my life since puberty, living behind a veil as a 'normal' person... while pinching and poking at life and existence?

Granted, I do know that being gay is not so different from being straight. Matter of fact. Say what they may, I know that. But, people will continue talking like I am the most evil of men.

Grin.....! I am SO DANGEROUS! I am used to scare kids in bed at night. You will be gay, you see!

Whats so boring is the fact that it is so normal. Give, mate, if only the extraordinary attention that the world gives to what is so normal to me would be diverted. But, I am just shy. Why should I duck my unique celebrity status?

This guy is DANGEROUS.

Bahati, Buturo, Ssempa. They all agree. And, why not. I am so dangerous.

Now, look at the brave football federation of Croatia. Don't know whether you have noticed it, but many people think us the scum of the earth. And, of course we cant be part of brave athletic sports like football, and others. Here.

And, another thing which is pretty consistent, when a person comes face to face with hate speech, or striking out at others, we are simply misunderstanding. [Even Ssempa was, and is, misunderstood.]

Markovic has since apologised ‘for a clumsy interpretation’ of his comments, claiming: ‘It was not my intention whatsoever to insult or hurt anyone.’

Give me 'clumsy'. Any time.

Another clumsy person. But, this is an elderly gentleman of the Catholic Church, who dares to say things that are the official church position..... but, it is not politically correct to say them. I give you the current, Catholic Archbishop of Belgium.

He calls AIDS a form of "justice" for homosexuals and wants retired pedophile priests to go unpunished. He says women who have an abortion will be greeted in the afterlife by their unborn child crying "Momma!"

Archbishop Andre Leonard, 70, was plucked from a sleepy Belgian citadel-town by Pope Benedict XVI in January to energize the country's Roman Catholic faithful and reverse 30 years of liberalism. The appointment was in line with Benedict's policy of putting tradition-minded and conservative bishops in important dioceses.

But since taking office, Leonard's hardline views have added turmoil to a church already mired in an abuse scandal. And, privately, some Vatican officials are expressing concern about an ever-worsening public relations disaster.

The controversy turned into a very public revolt last week when his spokesman resigned, saying he could no longer morally defend Leonard.

"I was his GPS for three months. But it is the driver who has his hands on the wheel. Too often, I had to recalculate the route," said Juergen Mettepenningen. He called Leonard a "loose cannon who thinks everybody else is wrong."

Leonard's views — and the way he delivers them so stridently — are riling the Catholic base, but they dovetail with church teachings that homosexual acts are "intrinsically disordered" and that women who abort babies are sinners.

Now, I have a sneaking admiration for the man. Why should hate speech be covered up? Like Ssempa, of the infamous 'eat da poo poo' fame, he is a man who speaks his mind. What if his mind is a sewer, and he is the Catholic Archbishop? Let him speak the position of the church without fear or favor.

Hey, what if the church is out of synch with life.... then, who else shows it so clearly but those who clearly ennunciate the position of the said Church?

Ugandans, my country mates are real fun.

When they bash gays, they expect things to just continue. Remember the 'Hang Them' headlines? They were not noticed in the country. No. I am not kidding you.

Why? Because, in Uganda, homosexuals simply do not deserve rights. When Nsaba-Buturo, Minister of Ethics and Integrity says homosexuals should forget about rights, he means exactly that. And, most fellow Ugandans will barely flinch. It is a known truth that homosexuals are not human...!

Anyway, what actually made news was the fact that it was news, and news in the west.

In more hilarious news,

Pastor Martin Ssempa. Forgive me. Pastor Dr. Martin 'eat da poo poo' Ssempa got so notorious online on Facebook that the admins there pulled the plug on that particular kettle of worms. Now, did I tell you that the guy is charismatic and the darling of many youths? They have energy, and, they are willing to go the last inch.

They have formed a group on Facebook to apply pressure for the return of dear Dr 'eat da poo poo'.

Snicker. The group has 116 members, as of now. It is a public content group. And all are welcome.

Need to find whether any of my facebook friends are on. You know...! Oh, you wanted the link? It is here 

Just been looking through the group members. Do you think they will ban Gay Uganda? I am so joining them....! Amama Mbabazi is a member of the group. And, the pics are cool, you know.. good. I mean of the guys on it. [Hey, bite me, am gay!]

Now, the question is, does Gay Uganda want Ssempa back on facebook or not?

We shall so see. Soon.

What are the discussions like, at that group?

Err, as of now, no discussions. Nothing but shouting to have Ssempa back on facebook. What did the gentle man do to be forced off?

He was so misunderstood! (Forgive my slip into Ugandenglish) Seems to fit in well, here.

As Afrogay writes,  for Ssempa the noose to tighten is little justice. But, what else can we pray for?

Ever wonder what would have happened if the 33 Chilean miners had been in Uganda? I don't. Wonder that is. They would have died, sure. No question about that.

Charles Onyango Obbo wonders actually. And, here is what he thinks would have happened

My friend Pastor Martin Sempa and MP David Bahati would show up at the rescue site. They would allege that one of the miners is gay, and therefore he should not be brought to the surface, as it was God’s plan that he stays in the ground. Only the heterosexuals, they would argue, should be rescued.

Well, Ugandans would have cheered Bahati and Ssempa. I know. I am a Ugandan!

Now, this less than satirical piece ends here. Tomorrow is Friday. And that means that I am looking forwards to Saturday and the weekend. Like a child promised candy, the thought sustains me through the rest of the week.....!

Have a great day, people!

Gay Parenting and other issues

I find that I need to be writing.

Am always asked. Why do I write? Different reasons, different times, differing motivation.

Right now, with the sun bright over Kampala, the skies blue, and few clouds, it is to put words to the feeling of giddy good health that is in my mind. But, there are things which also demand to put pen to paper.

Yeah, finger to keyboard to. Did I say I also write to see what verbal gymnastics I can get to?

Yes, I do!

Now, on love vs hate, ever wondered why it takes lots of words to try to justify hate?

Yes, it does.

It is simply because, love usually doesnt need so much explanation. I know, reams of poetry have been written, to explain that feeling. I know it when I hold my love, that though I may not be able to explain it, to find the exact words to nail down the emotion, that I feel it. And, I don't need so many to show him that I love.....! Actions are good enough. Even when I slip. And I do slip. Often.

But words to explain hate...

I am thinking of a particular character that is garrulous on another blog. Surely education is not what it is touted to be. Education and intelligence are two very distinctly different things.

And, I am thinking of Ssempa.

How that hypocrite cries that he loves homosexuals. I mean, I have heard him. And, he believes that the crocodile tears will wipe away the hurt that he inflicts so viscously, so callously. Oh yes, he does.

And, sorry Christians. He believes that he does all in the name of Christ.

And, paraphrasing Jesus' words, he fills the emptiness of hate with words.

A sorry character. Unfortunately. I don't find it within my pagan heart to forgive him. He has hurt, and continues to hurt me too much.

But, there are the rest of my country mates, the ones who believe that it is their god given right to persecute us homosexuals. Because we are gay....! Matters of nationalism, and other isms.

And, when the world complains (or we cry out that we hurt), the chorus of, you cannot be so un-African, seems to drown out our pain.

So, what if as reported by someone in the UK, the world disapproves? And, they silently vote with their feet in this way? From a reader of the blog who inboxed me, Tomas from Carlifonia.

Greetings from London and World Travel Mart. I hope you know that there is a silent boycott of the Uganda stand, which the Ugandans Tourism ministry has spent a lot of money on. Very few foreign tour operators visited the stand. There is a silent boycott of Uganda. WTM is the most significant travel trade show in the world.

But, my countrymates are too big headed. Sigh. Those thick skulls have to be made porous. Least of all because, I am their countrymate. And, I will not be silenced. And, I will continue my shouting. Till they hear....!

Hey, burn me, I am also a human being.

Came across a funny study, details. You remember that us homosexuals, especially in countries like Uganda are accused of molesting children? Of course we cannot adopt. We can barely 'live', legally, without finding our way into prison.

So, what happens when, children of lesbians actually prove to be much better looked after than those of the rest of the population?

No brainer. Two mothers is kinda cool, you know....! And, doesnt mean that I would not get into hot water. But, two mothers are cool.

This study says they are actually more than cool.

The paper found that none of the 78 NLLFS adolescents reports having ever been physically or sexually abused by a parent or other caregiver. This contrasts with 26 percent of American adolescents who report parent or caregiver physical abuse and 8.3 percent who report sexual abuse.

According to the authors, "the absence of child abuse in lesbian mother families is particularly noteworthy, because victimization of children is pervasive and its consequences can be devastating. To the extent that our findings are replicated by other researchers, these reports from adolescents with lesbian mothers have implications for healthcare professionals, policymakers, social service agencies, and child protection experts who seek family models in which violence does not occur."

Now, that is a finger in the eye of some.

But, what can I say?

That, we gay people are just as human as other human beings.

And, stop persecuting us, if you do so....!

Have a brilliant day, as brilliant as it is this Kampala Summer.

gug

Gay Faith Heroes, and there is Tutu

Yeah, I didnt include him.

But, how can I not do so? Here is his latest foray into my world, bringing healing, and calm to a fevered argument.

In Africa, we have nonsensicals like Ssempa. And, we also have people of enduring human beauty like Desmond Tutu. Here is his letter. And, personally, as a gay Ugandan, gay African, I salute the gentleman.
The article and image are from Essence

Today I pray for people in Africa and throughout the world who long for freedom because they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. It grieves me to be retiring at this crucial moment in history, so I write to you in this open letter, to invite you to pick up the work that remains to be done. More than 70 countries still imprison or execute gay and transgender people, and bullying and murders are all too common. This must change.

Each of you is called to respond to God's urgency for love and life. So whether you are in South Africa, the United States or anywhere else, humanity needs to accept its own diversity as a gift from our Creator. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are part of our family of God.

I have always striven for a life of love in action. Many told me to stop. They called me a communist or they told me that I might be killed. Now, I have lived long, and one choice that comes with age is how to deal with our own mortality. Should we be more careful or be more bold? Should we rest on our laurels or respond to the urgency of justice?

Boldly, I urge all faith leaders and politicians to stop persecuting people based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. Every day people live in fear because of who they love. We are talking about our family members, our flesh and blood, our humanity. LGBT people are in our villages, towns, cities, countries -- and our whole world.

In South African churches we have sung, "Oh freedom! Freedom is coming, oh yes, I know." We sang this chorus at the lowest points of our journey toward freedom against the racist and colonialist system of apartheid, and we still sing it to this day. Freedom is coming -- and those of us who have freedom must speak out for those whose freedom is under attack. We can and must make a difference.

Now, matter of fact, that guy makes me proud to be African.

And, makes me feel a little inkling that, maybe, just maybe, the values of Jesus are practical?... He has lived the life. He has walked the talk. And, he still is.

I salute him.

guy

Gay, Faith Heroes

Yesterday, standing on the road just outside home, a Mormon missionary approaches me, to tell me about their deity.

I decline. Don't want to belong to any faith..., don't belong to any faith. Suprise on her part. Why don't I believe? No, it does have something to do with my sexuality, but, faith doesnt have to do with sexuality. Didnt go into the specifics of my case.

She insisted on telling me about the Bible. I listened, then nonplussed her by asking why she wasn't quoting from the Quaran. Because she didnt believe it. I don't believe in neither the Bible, nor the Quaran, I reply patiently.

Why does it suprise people that a person does remain a human being with no particular adherence to a faith? Guess it is because so many of us believe. Gay people believe. Even when they are bombarded by 'gay is evil' messages. We continue to believe.

And, sometimes, that has some interesting consequences.

Remember the 'Hang Them' headline? The rolling stone rug.

Just below the caption on the front page were the photos of two people. One is a gay activist. The other is Bishop Christopher Ssenyonjo. Giles Muhame, Ssempa's lieutenant, apparently believes that the elderly bishop should be hanged.

No. Bishop Ssenyonjo is not gay.

Question has always been asked. The guy was asked why he is risking all for a people that are pariahs in society.... even his pension. He is a grandfather, and his family is affected by his stance. I mean, the Church of Uganda went to the point of stopping his pension, reportedly because of his stance on homosexuality.

And, one of Ssempa's lieutenants wants him hanged.

No. Not because he is gay. But, because he defends gay people of faith. In the Christian faith. Uh, Jesus feels that pain. Surely no teacher would stand for such interpretation of their teaching! Jesus taught love, didnt he?

If Giles is to state that that is a mis-construction, I would be very surprised. Words, pics, they mean something. As a news person, I think he is the expert. When I see the photo of Bishop Ssenyonjo and the caption, just above his head to 'Hang Them', my conclusions are based on a very solid foundation. At least, so I think....!

There is another bishop, Gene Robinson.

Hey, the guy is gay. Maybe for him it is justified to spew hate speech? His consecration brought up all sorts of controversies. Personally, such a thing, like the consecration of Bishop Glasspool is an affirmation that even gay people are worth of faith. Fact, there is nothing stopping us from believing. Many of us do, and strongly. But, there are some incredible consequences to that. Here was the reaction to Gene Robinson.

Robinson was openly gay when he was elected bishop in 2003, but it aroused such passions that he wore a bullet-proof vest to his consecration.

His ordination as bishop -- the first of an openly gay priest in any Christian denomination -- so divided the church that its General Convention in 2006 called a moratorium on "any candidate to the episcopate whose manner of life presents a challenge to the wider church."

Then in July 2009, the church voted to end the moratorium even though the issue had opened a widening rift within the broader Anglican church.

Some Episcopal parishes in the United States responded by breaking with the US church and aligning themselves with conservative Anglican bishops in Africa and South America.

Gene Robinson is retiring. Has he been brave?

Maybe, by definition of the word. He has been a man who, through no choice of his, has been forced into the spotlight. And made a celebrity. But, at a cost to him.

Bishop Gene Robinson of the Episcopal Diocese of New Hampshire said he would retire in 2013, when he will be 65.

"The fact is, the last seven years have taken their toll on me, my family and you," Robinson wrote in a message posted on the diocese website.

"Death threats, and the now-worldwide controversy surrounding your election of me as bishop have been a constant strain, not just on me, but on my beloved husband, Mark, who has faithfully stood with me every minute of the last seven years."

I salute the man. Gene Robinson. Husband Mark.

I salute them for finding the courage to walk through their lives as human beings, not denying themselves in the face of extreme opposition.

I salute them.

gug

Reckless

Am I reckless? Surely not!

Gay, a Ugandan, in Uganda. Surely I have learnt the lessons of caution? Surely...

But, appearances can be deceptive. Maybe I am reckless, in a way. Because I am gay, and Ugandan.

But, first, of the day.

Saturday. No work for me. Woke in bed, to my lover's warmth of body. There is nothing like that, feeling, touching, being with the one you love in the same bed. Instinctively closing to him, moulding body with his. Time stands still, feeling his response to my response. Knowing that he is mine, and I am his.

Got out of bed later. Restless.

Too used to getting out of bed early to stay in for long. And, I love that early morning chorus of birds in trees. I am lucky. Where I live, the trees still are, and birds still sing.

Outside, a heavy cloud hugged the hollows and vales between the hills. Fog on the crowns. And, the sun is a disk through, failing to burn through the haze. A strange morning in Kampala. Different.

I walked the road, and thought.

Life all around is a poem. Author is a master poet, and, it is relentlessly, continously being rewritten.

And as I walk through, almost a stranger, observer on the side, I thought how reckless I am to seek to ruffle this almost smoothly flowing stream.

I mean that interview.

Granted, I have been gay most of life. Known it. Hidden, as only a person can in the midst of life.

So, why do I think it gamine to lift that veil? Anonymity is my most consistent defence. If they don't know about me, they will not attack me. They will not out me, they will not call for my hanging. They will not lynch me. They will not know where to get me to persecute me for imaginary ills like 'recruiting their children'. They will not accuse me of things that cannot be done. Because I am different from them.

Why do I risk prosecution, prison, even judicial death? Why do I so consistently risk overt persecution from them?

Who are they?

My neighbours. My country-mates. The people, the anonymous, common but unknown others who move on the streets of Kampala, of Uganda. My people, my relatives.

I look like them. And, I have worked on perfecting that image. So, why have I risked outing myself?

Why not burrow deeper, get married to a woman, have blessed children, continue having my lover on the side?

Why do I expose myself recklessly? Why don't I take the easier road? Why...

Sorry. The questions have been in my head.

Had to be, since I realised the risk that I ran, lifting the veil of my anonymity to that extent.

No, Anengiyefa. I didn't know that it would have been like so. The promise was the veil would hold. And, I didn't hold the cameras. Truth be told, I don't know how that is done. The experts, they did. And, the promise was I wouldn't be recognised.

Of course, in any battle, hard to gauge the risks taken. Are they worth it? Only if, and when the battle is won. When the war is at an end.

Hard to say, when the war is on going. And, in Uganda, it is ongoing.

But, why recklessly take the risk? Maybe I should ask Val Kalende. She gave the interview that was published in one of the real mass circulation sheets in Uganda. Why did she do it? Why do we so consistently chip away at the veil that hides and protects us? Why do we take risks which we know are reckless, risks that we know may, if we fail, make us lose more than what we think we should?

Its a tough question.

No. It is not courage. I am sorry to say that, little that I do I can think of courageous. Thinking like that is the kind of recklessness which would make me jump off a cliff thinking I will fly. I have to remember the hard landing at the end. And, frankly, that gives me nightmares.

But, think of it this way.

Familiarity breeds contempt. And, I have grown very familiar with the danger, the risks I take on a daily basis. Because I have learnt to sidestep the holes, I kind of start believing in my invulnerability. So, I take greater, and greater risks. And, I try to rationalise them away....

That is why writing something like this is necessary. I need to touch base. To remember that, I have travelled far. I have done a lot. I have reached for the stars, and, maybe. Just maybe, I can touch them.

But, I am still flesh. I bleed when cut. And life is a fragile gift that I am putting on line. For my bloody ideals, which will and do demand their pound of flesh. Nearest the heart, to be overly dramatic.

Reckless?

Yeah. I am.

Risks I take, for ideals that I countenance. I don't believe in martyrdom. Simple foolishness that. Yet, risks I take, and will continue to take because that is what life thrusts at me. Simply to stay happy, to have the joy of waking up in my lover's hands is a risk. Even kissing my lover in our house is a risk, not to be attempted without a look out the windows, to know we are unwatched.

So, if such a common, day to day pleasure is also a risk, what other risks will I allow myself to take in caution?

Put that way, sounds like I am giving myself the licence to risk more.

Sigh..... That was not the aim of this. I must remember to be cautious. Even when the battle rage takes hold. I know, I am no berserker. Never been, never will be.

gug

That Interview!

Recurrent theme in questions to me.

while watching CNN this morning i saw the back story coverage of the rolling stone outing. they interviewed you anonymously but that was a silly move coz anybody who knows you can tell that its you and they did show your lower face.

The CNN interview. It was supposed to be anonymous. Unfortunately, it was not as anonymous as I wanted. No, I was not ready, just yet, for my mug to be associated with this blog..... !

But, (touch wood), done is done. Yes, I have learnt to take life as it is thrown at me. I am gay, a Ugandan, in Uganda. Sometimes, many times I affirm that. It is a reminder to myself that I have gone through the fire, and I am still alive. I have come out kicking, alive to write another word. And, since that is still happening, I will not rail at life's unfairness.

Another thing which I am considering a lot is the fact that I am fairly out. Very out, relative to most Ugandans. That is why I kind of tend to feature in all the 'outings' (seems my celebrity status in Uganda's rugs doesnt wear off). Result of that is the fact that, most of my significant others do know that I am gay. Do know my partner. And, those who have not rejected me, they are still with me.

[These days, seems as if I am more amazed at who knows, rather than who doesn't. Like a colleague at work who discreetly made me to understand that she knew I was gay. Was kind of funny... I was just too surprised to have a more confortable discussion after the revelation!]

But, that underscores the fact that, in my immediate environment, people who matter to me know that I am gay. And, they are not expressing overt hostility. [If they do, I hope I can shrug it off]

Of course, that is no protection from anonymous violence. But, what is?

Yes, it can, and does rile some people. Including, my elder brother, who sent me an e-mail that simply had to be answered. My revelation that I am gay, the fact that I am not shy about it, the fact that I continue to talk about it in forums that are open and not disguising me... Come to think of it, he must have watched the interview and recognised me.

What am I trying to say?

That the interview I did was not anonymous enough. That, even if I am gay in Uganda, and gayuganda, I am trying to rationalise away any possible negative effects, including outing myself and showing major enemies who I am.

I am trying to say that it matters. But, it is a waterfall in the course of the river of life which I had to get to. I hoped to get there later, it has happened sooner.

To the likes of Maazi who I met on another blog and gave me this advice-

Please do not flatter yourself. Enjoy the limelight while it lasts. It is good you are playing fiddle to your western fans. In the future, you will certainly need their help to relocate overseas when the sodomy laws are strengthened to take care of gay militancy.

Be assured that, my life is on the line, I know it, and am angry enough to put it on line. You may think that chasing me out of my country is your solution. Or, you may cheer on the mobs with the hangman's noose.

Well, I am saying, it is worth my life. Being what I am. It is worth it. I take enough pride in being who I am, and what I am, not to be shut up.

I am gay. I am a Ugandan. I am an African. And, you will not change any of those, my identities.

Enough said.

gug

When Outed

What does one do when one is outed?

Kind of funny. The panic that an 'outing' induces in us kuchus.

Funny in retrospect. One has to go through it to know what it is. But, after some time, it kind of becomes yesterdays news. For some of us.

Last week was talking to a guy who was kicked out of home when his sexuality became known. He dropped out of university, father not prepared to pay fees for a homo son. Yet the pressure didnt stop then. Relatives want him out of the country, as far from them as possible.

For him, life suddenly took a tangent that he had not dreamed of. And, a couple of years down the road, and he is still reeling. He wants out of the country.

Sunday, we were with a friend when we learnt that three of the papers had outed some people.

He is a professional, with a budding carrear. And, suddenly, he was unsettled. Jittery, wondering whether or not his name appeared in the unprecedented three papers outing on the same day! Wondering how it would affect job, earnings, carrier, just the whiff of scandal from the most gossipy of rugs in the country. But this the most damaging of rumours... gay in Uganda! His fear was contagious. At midnight, he wanted to go search for a copy of the filthy rugs, to confirm or not that he was amongst those outed.

Fear. That is an almost crippling feature of any outing happening, however it does. Worst is when it happens in the papers.

[Wonder about the people who are 'outed' when they are not gay.... what do they do? If they can fight it, like Pastor Kayanja.... they do. Guns blazing. To be known to be gay in Uganda is instant social suicide.]

I, we have become used to it, me and my partner. Has been too often. And, now I discover that, at work, and my family, well, they know.

His family, mom knows because he told her. Dad-in-law is a problem. Havent yet figured out how to break the news. For us an outing is a deja-vu, a feeling of, here it comes again. And, we just have to go through with it another time.

So it is today. For me, for us.

The guys who write about us for the simple buck, the quick shilling, they don't think more than beyond the fact that they have sold an extra copy of a very bad wanna be newspaper. They are actually happy, because they believe that they are doing the country a favor. What did Giles Muhame say? They want to put us in the newspapers, with our addresses, so that the police comes and look for us, and we are charged. And, of course hanged.

Hang, as in the judicial, hanged by the neck until we die.

Very good Christian, that guy Giles. A fitting disciple to Pastor Martin Ssempa. And, I am given to understand that he attends Makerere Community Church, pastored by non other than Martin Ssempa. So, any suprises there?

But, let the anger and bitterness go.

Here is a personal story in which I happened to get involved. Guy called Moses Mworeko, who happens to be in the US just now. It first appeared in Metro Weekly.

MW: Did you have any reason to think your guardian might have suspected you of being gay?

MWOREKO: No. People would comment on my behavior, my lifestyle, and it would just stop at that.

But this one day, I was in his office accessing the Internet. I was communicating with my boyfriend. My guardian called for me abruptly while I was in his secretary's office. I knew I was coming right back, but as soon as I went to his office, the secretary came in. She read my mail. When I came back, she said, ''Moses, were you the one on my computer?'' I said yes.

''What's this?'' she asked.

''What?''

''What's this?''

''Well, what do you think it is? And what's the problem?''

MW: This secretary, did you know her very well?

MWOREKO: I did. She had worked for my guardian for many years. She was my friend. I was part of that group who worked in that office. But when she saw this, it ended with her intimidating me and threatening to report me to my guardian. Of course, she knew the consequences if she reported me to my guardian or to the school officials.

By then, I was also a student. After I'd earned my bachelor's degree, I decided to enroll for my master's in public health. So I was teaching and a student at the same time.

The rules and regulations were so clear about homosexuality. The moment they get you, you are expelled from school. If you are an administrator or staff, then your services are terminated.

MW: Would they inform they police?

MWOREKO: No, they would just expel you. Just get rid of you.

MW: Did she tell your guardian?

MWOREKO: She did not tell my guardian, but she did tell the dean of students. I happened to go to junior school with the dean of students. She knew who I was. We used to talk and joke. She called me to her office and she said, ''Moses, you have a problem.''

''What problem?''

''No, you have a problem.''

''No, I don't have any problem.''

MW: When she called you to her office, did you know it was for the accusation that you were gay?

MWOREKO: No, I did not know. I thought it was for our usual conversations we would have. But with her tone, the way she spoke, I thought, ''This must be something different.'' All of a sudden, of course, my mind went to that. Then she said, ''You need to confess and we have to have some counseling for you.''

I said, ''I have nothing to confess, and I don't need any counseling because I don't have any problem.''

MW: Were you frightened?

MWOREKO: Definitely. I was thinking of my job, my career. If I'm expelled, what next? It was going to be catastrophic.

So I said I didn't know anything. She said that if I didn't confess to her so that she could put me on counseling, then she would report me to the administration. I think she was trying to put herself in a better position: If she didn't confront me to confess and the school administration knew about it before she reported it, then she would be in trouble. But I denied everything.

In the time since graduation, even before that, my guardians and aunties had started telling me, ''You have to get married, because you are the firstborn and you need to bring a wife who is going to be at home in the village.'' So when all this was going on – reporting me to the administration – then the marriage issue also came in. It helped. I went to my guardian and I said, ''Okay, I think I need to get married.''

MW: But to whom?

MWOREKO: I had never seen her, but my guardian knew her dad. They went to school together in Kenya. He's also an Anglican priest. They organized it.

I saw the girl for the first time, and we talked. She was ready for marriage. My guardian called her and told her she would have a great responsibility if we got married: ''Moses is the head of that family and you will need to take care of those people.'' She said, ''Fine, I have no problem with that.''

MW: How long did all of this take?

MWOREKO: It was just a short period of time. Everything was just happening – boom, boom, boom. [The dean] took about two months to report me. It was in bits, in just half a year. When the administration called me, I said I was not gay. The dean of students was given the task of following up the case. Then it was the counseling department. I kept reporting to those people, so there was no way they could terminate my contract, because they had no proof. I expected her to submit [the e-mail] proof, but she did not. When it came out that I was to get married, I think she was like, ''No, let's not....''

MW: And you got married?

MWOREKO: I did.

Being outed, outing is a very, very personal nightmare. And, it happens to many of us. An almost inevitable right of passage for those of us who dare live in the glare of the public eye.

My heart, my mind is with all kuchus who were so badly outed, splashed, naked on the pages of the Rolling stone in Kampala yesterday. And to those about whom lurid stories appeared in the other excuses for papers.

And please, if you do know guys who were outed, remember that the nightmare can be very personal and long lasting. Talk to them. Find out whether, when you can help. And, do help.

gug