Preliminaries

They were asking where I was. They were debating, why should I tell that what I was doing? But I accepted to be deT’s big brother. I have to tell.

I was sulking. A very big sulk. But now I have forgiven all of you, and decided to teach you the customs. So, let us all pretend that we are sitting by the fireside. And I am big brother, and Princess is the little sis who is too young to teach slightly bigger sister DeT all the intricacies of our customs.

So, we are together, and the fire is dancing. We have eaten the evening meal. And, since I have decided to teach something, I will tend the fire. Small sister has to listen, because this is not my job, I am not a girl, and (I suppose) she should have known all these things. I don’t know how, but I suspect Mama should have taught you, little sis, these things. In the conversations since your breasts started budding.

DeT grew up in ‘foreign’ countries. She is forgiven her ignorance.

So, sister DeT, I have found out that something is going on behind my back, and I did not want to embarrass you. I asked little sis to teach you, but she did not. [Deserves a big slap. Glare. How can you force me to teach her!]

So, sister DeT.

First some disclaimers.

We have many different tribes in Uganda. So, our customs differ, a lot. I will try to make this as simple as possible, but it may stretch into 3 posts. So, prepare to do a lot of listening. And listen you must [sternly]

I am gay, something you know. I also grew up in Kampala. But my father came from deep in the countryside. So, I proudly claim that I am of a certain tribe. Which I am not going to reveal. And, sister, you are an honorary member of the tribe. So, you will follow our customs [Glare].

The slight problem is that I do not know these things as I should. And, the girls know them better than I do, and, I have not had the chance to make an ‘introduction’

But that is jumping the gun.

Li’l sis DeT, I don’t know 27^th. Not at all.

Yes, I know the slight guy with dreadlocks who keeps blogging about his Communist ideals. He is nothing to me. Maybe a friend [sniff], or acquittance. We may share a beer once in a while, or a cigarette, if I smoke and he does, but I don’t know anything about him relative to my family, of which you are a member.

So, I don’t know about what is happening between you two. I don’t. I swear, and that I will swear on the most sacred of all places. The graves of certain people.

So, if you meet and like him. That is your deal. If you like the way he smiles, that is up to you. I will not interfere. I will look away. I will not see anything until you tell me. That is your privilege, but beware!

If I am from a certain tribe in Uganda, you have to be very careful about shacking up with 27^th. Suddenly, I may become aware. And violent.

If you are together, and living at his place for a time and you have not told me, I will get my brothers together. (Six). I will come when you are both at home. We shall beat him up, with you looking on, and carry you off home.

But don’t worry. We are modern. We shall leave you together for about a year before we decide to teach him a lesson. [glare] He would have to pay for that. Rank disrespect to my family. How can he think my sister is cheap? Or free?

Now, if you have been living together, and doing things which I do NOT want to know, and something happens, and a small life starts growing in you. Then remember that you are almost time barred. I MUST know as soon as possible. Because when you put on some weight, then it is no longer in my hands. You are my sister, so I look after you, as a surrogate for my father. When that happens, he will ask me about that, and I MUST know what to answer the old man.

So, sister DeT, you come to me, on an evening when we are together like we are, with small sis Princess looking on with very wide adorable eyes. And, as I am looking with a frown into the flames, you jog my elbow.

I look at you, and you smile.

I have something to tell you, big bro. You say

I frown, sensing that it is serious. Turn my full attention to you, and listen.

You know I am an adult now. (I nod), and it is time for me to start thinking about a place of my own. (more vigorous nod. Girl, you are overdue, since the breast buds started showing.)

So, I have seen a boy.

(I frown. A boy, what boy is playing with my sister?)

Err, a man (quick interruption from you. My frown was getting ugly). He likes me, and I like him.

(I am listening. It is your forum, it is you who must tell me.)

He has asked me to be with him. (you say it all in a rush, eyes cast down)

After a few minutes, you look up at me. My face is split in a huge grin. The teeth are reflecting the starlight, the moonlight, and the firelight.

Relax, little sis. My face says. I knew, and I was waiting for you to INFORM me. So, Princess, besides me, relaxes. It is not going to be a fight. I have been informed. But that is not all. Those are the preliminaries

GayUganda