Saturday, January 19, 2008

Party Time 2


Does one need to be deeply contemplative to appreciate the good things in life?

I don’t think so.

Want to share with you something special. I have a jewel, a precious diamond in my hands, and I have not even thought about how beautiful it is.

Yesterday, told you that I had to stop writing to attend our party.

In honour of our anniversary. Seven years since we started being together, me and my lover.

It has been a turbulent time. Many highs, many lows, much smooth level sailing. With seven years, it seems to be something which is normal. Something that is not so remarkable.

I was not around on the actual day of our anniversary. Travelling.

My friend is the one who is into anniversaries, and special days and dates. But because of many issues (read money !!!!), we had not thought about making an occasion of it. So, the actual day passed, with an email from me, and lots of short text messages to his phone. I remember that I was jetlagged and sleepy then.

Back home, he told me that he had mentioned the anniversary to a couple of our friends. And they insisted that we must have a party. And they had come up with a few things.

So, party it was to be.

At home, in Kampala. Friday evening.

Not a big do. Just a small party, friends invited, and close ones at that. And of course only the number that can fit into the house.

We did it.

A very beautiful evening. Already told you about that. No rain, or drizzle. Umeme behaved- no power cuts. Scrubbed the house, as necessary, worried a little about how fitting everything would be. Opened the windows and waited for the guests.

They came. Of course all of them were kuchus. Men and women. ‘Gender’ balanced.

Where kuchus meet, freedom flows. Especially when alcohol does loosen the inhibitions.

It did. And people were happy. And they showed it.

A couple were too happy, very well controlled by the others. But considerable talking top of ones voice. Afraid the house is a bit in the open. Don’t know whether the neighbours understood our variety of double talk!

Came the part for speeches.

I have to admit I do not talk much in public. I declined. So did my friend.

But the audience was not to be thwarted. A speech on this auspicious occasion was demanded for.

So, I gave a great speech. 3 sentences. Left them howling with laughter, and awe.

What did I say?

Well, something on the lines of it was a blind date, and within four hours of meeting we were in bed, together. And the rest is history.

Great speech, indeed!!

But it set off the others. Questions. How did we do it? How come it was possible? What was the trick? Had we ever attended an occasion like this one?

I ducked the questions. Tossed them to my friend. He is the relationship counsellor. Seems to love it. Talks to lots of others when they are having relationship problems.

But something struck me.

This relationship of ours. It is iconic in the eyes of the kuchu community here, in Uganda. Seems as if most do know about it, and like it. In a way it is one of the most open. They like it, and want to know the chemistry to make it work.

I do not know what chemistry has made me love someone this much, this long, this consistently. Yes, I have strayed. Many times, but come back. I am sure that I do love him. A comfortable feeling of togetherness and knowledge of one another. A willingness to face the many problems that we face, together. To forgive one another when necessary. To recognise the essential that we can fight and still love each other. And that I love him. And he loves me.

I don’t know what makes it work. I know it has worked for me. Difficult, but possible. And something that fits me. I am a difficult person to live with. I know. To say that we have lived together with someone who is so different from me is amazing.

What has been most striking to me is the fact that I did not know.

I knew, but did not realise. I didn’t fully appreciate our relationship. The significance it holds for others in the community. The understanding by others that it is difficult, but that we have stuck it out. The fact that they do realise that we love one another.

And the fact that they fully and strongly supported us.

Party ended late. Past midnight.

But I was very thoughtful afterwards.

I have a beautiful jewel in my hands. And I do think I had ceased to notice it. To appreciate it as is.

Yes, my mate is beautiful. Yes, he does a lot to keep our relationship going. I am the other half of the equation.

Don’t know how to put it. Other than saying that I have a jewel in my hands that I was holding a bit too carelessly. Not appreciating the value of what I have.

Thanks, friends, for reminding me. Thanks for your support. And thanks, lover of mine, for loving me.

GayUganda

3 comments:

Afriboy said...

Congratulations!

Iwaya said...

Well, well, congratulations GUG?!

gayuganda said...

Thanks Afriboy, Iwaya

Your support does mean lots to me.

gug

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