Dumb question. But sometimes dumb questions need answers.
It’s a grey overcast Sunday. Saturday night was memorable for all the wrong reasons. I would like to forget it, but I cannot. The day has been overcast, and I have realized that I didn’t want to come back to the blog.
A Christian came. Invaded my privacy here, and he is telling me how bad I am, and how he does not hate me, but love me. So he insists on engaging me in a conversation.
Why don’t I just shut him off? After all he makes me boil with the anger of frustration. But why should I shut him down?
Dialogue. We do not dialogue with the likes of Ssempa, and Akinola. Because they do not listen when we talk. (And we do not listen when they talk. The conversation is a shouting match, both groups insisting on how evil the other is, hearing little of the others point of view). Archbishop Akinola of Nigeria believes if I shake his hand I may soil him. What a man of God! But I am insightful enough to know that if I ask them to listen to me, I should also listen to them. Upside of that, if they do listen to me, they will no longer think me evil. My not so secret weapon. Truth.
Ignorance. I was in a meeting with someone, who was telling me about those I curse as homophobes. She kept insisting that people like Nsaba-Buturo are sincerely ignorant. That they do not know the realities of sexuality. They have been taught, from day one, to believe that a homosexual is a devil incarnate. They believe it. Simply, and sincerely. And to them, any proof to the contrary is just ignored. Is this true?
But to me, it boils down to the fact that someone is persecuting me for what I am. And goes as far as advocating to have my head cut off, in the name of his religion.
A guy called Kimbowa. He is a Christian. When I tell him that I am gay, he says, ok you are, but something is wrong. When I tell him I am not a pedophile, he tells me that studies have been done to show that I am a pedophile. I look at this [imbecile, my quick anger insists], and shake my head in frustration.
So, how will I tell him what I am when he does not have the grace to listen to what I say?
Yes, I can ignore him.
Surely I can? But it also irks me that someone thinks I am so bad that he does not question my goodness! I am a human being too, I cry. So, I have bad things and good things about me. It would be immensely satisfying to push that into his head.
That is a rant of a reason.
But a more serious one. These guys may show hatred for us out of ignorance. If we can educate them out of this ignorance, we gain. Hatred is hatred, even when it is clothed in ecclesiastical clothes. If they point a gun at us and shoot, the bullet kills us, whether they intend it or not. I would rather that I take away the gun, than that I would have to harm them before they harm me!
Ok, now I am calm. At least I hope I am calm enough. Let the dialogue begin.