A pretty day going out soon. Like a candle that will not last too long. Then dark will descend, like a curtain, and day will be done.
A beautiful day. Beautiful, more than I expected.
Had a lot on my mind in the morning. First, he was sick, loverman, through the night. His skin was a burning coal to mine. I dared not flinch, he holds me when I am sick, and he complained of being cold. So, I warmed him, best as I could. By morning the fever had broken, and he was sweating. He made me breakfast, and I had to go to town.
Back, and I have rested some. Not a nap really. Just a rest, after walking about town a bit.
Cleaning yesterday took something out of me. Today, I was not in the mood, which is more usual of me. So, loverman does the rest of the cleaning. Gave him a hug and a kiss afterwards. I am not into house chores!
But I am into my laptop.
So, I came out and am looking into the westering sun. Cool it is, beautiful. The sun’s fierceness has been shaded most of the day.
Not bright, because there was a cloudburst yesterday, in the night and early morning; but a warm cool. With breeze, like there is now. A gentle touch on the skin that soothes even as it informs one that he’s alive. I got out of the house, lay down on my back and looked up into the trees. Calm. The calm of an evening.
A coloured fiber mat underneath. The kind women here deftly weave as a hobby. The grass is green, the birds are singing, and I am alive. How trite it seems, trying to take an essence of the day to put it on the page!
Yesterday, I spent most of the day working in the house. Wrote about that.
Then I went out. Where the others were. Other kuchus.
Loverman was happy to see me. And promptly tied himself to me.
I made the rounds, gave my apologies, met guys and girls, laughed and joked. It was an evening like today, but it was special. The company made it special.
Its amazing. Five years ago, such a gathering would have been impossible. No one would have come. Yesterday, more than fifty kuchus in
And people adhered to that!
But afterwards, when I was there, it was party time, and party we did.
We are all kuchus, all shades of us. And that is the uniting factor. We might quarrel, and fight, and yell at one another. There is always intrigue and love affairs and fights. But what joins us, what brings us together is stronger than the repulsive forces.
When it was time to dance, then people also took that seriously. They danced.
It was time to catch up with old and new gossip. But first I sat down and relished being in such a place. There is a tension that I seem to carry around with me. In Mateo’s, Friday, I was in a place that had other kuchus. And it was fun, knowing who was and chatting. But that tension was there.
Yesterday, in such a place, that tension lifted. Now, my lover could shadow me, without it being commented on. Now, we could hold hands, and kiss. We could look without fear of being caught out. Everyone else was exactly what we are. No need to hide. No need to fake.
Loverman told me he was not feeling well.
I am ashamed to say I ignored it. Too much eye candy on show. And some was decidedly sticky. Something which makes him uncomfortable. He is almost sure I have no capacity to say no! Well, some of those guys where really enticing.
One made moves. I tried to ignore the initial hints. They became more blatant. We are gay, and we are men. Why hide when the other could only say no?
My lover became upset. I had to send the other guy a message, look, I am married. Apparently he got that fast!
Anyway, when loverman first said he wasn’t feeling well, I thought it was a ploy, to remove me from temptation. Took some time to convince me otherwise…
But now I am forgiven.
I would like to share with him the cool of the evening. The sun going down, and the soft breeze in the trees around me. He is in the house. Will have to think of something.