Thursday, July 24, 2008


Little sister is very unhappy with me. Apparently I abused our parents for naming her Princess.

[Now, am going to be in dungeon from bigger sis deT, because I am making this a post, but, well…]

Oh, it all came from the naming game. deT, all the way Down Under wants an African name because she has fallen in love with Africa. So, people poured in their good wishes. Me being me, I added my ten cents worth, and attacked our parents for calling Princess Princess.

deT proudly wears the Baganda name Kamese. Which, by the way, means mouse! My weird sense of humour!! (I think she was unhappy, not because she had the name, but because there is a pastor that has the same name, but that is another story…)

DeT is deT, so I am not surprised that she proudly wears the name Kamese. That is the kind of person I had figured you out girl, and that, by the way, is why I find you so engaging! You wonderful sense of irreverence.

But Princess is another person.

Oh yes, should have figured you out for a Ugandan.

I know, I know. I am a Ugandan. But, as I often say, I am a very weird, politically incorrect Ugandan. After all I dare to blog as a gay man. Horror of horrors. And I have been tackling other things, daring to step where only the devil dares.

Ugandans. We have our own version of ‘politically correct’ speech. And it is so easy to miss-step that it angers me. For example, the issue of the tribes, and tribal rivalries. Things that we never, ever blog about. So, I am weird enough to talk about them. Because, well, why not?

Another example? Sex.

But Princess told me to lay off that subject if I wanted her to continue reading this blog. If I say typical Ugandan attitude, I will be crucified, but there we are.

Yes, I am supposed to be saying sorry.

Err, Princess. I thought it was so obvious that when parents name a child Princess that it is a great thing. Fact, in Africa, at least in our Uganda, names mean something. Something definite. The very fact that our parents named you Princess showed their pride in you. You were and are their Princess, and they were not afraid for the whole world to know that you were the apple of their eye.

Now, in my irreverent way, I thought that this was so clear, so blindingly obvious, that I could actually tease you about it. Implying that they were out of their mind. Your reaction actually horrified me. It was a joke, and you totally misunderstood it. Sorry. My mistake.

Is that ok Princess?

And you say you have taken lots of other crap from me. I know, I have been treating you with unlady-like lack of dignity, but I thought that was a privilege of us bigger brothers. That, and of course deT’s corrupting influence (hold on girl….)

If you don’t mind, could you please point out the specific times I have angered you?


[grumble, grumble; My dad would never be proud of me. He taught me never, ever to say that I am sorry. I am an African man! And yes, that was very, very, very hard. That is, admitting that I am sorry!]

So, we fine now Princess?

A Contrite GayUganda


DeTamble said...

I have several points to make on this one:
1. I would love to lock you in a dungeon and probably sexually harass you or bring the hottest guys down and get them to shag in front of you and not touch you at all! Sucker.
2. I didn't want an African name. It was not my idea. It was Chanel who deemed it necessary and Antipop raced in to name me so I just went with it. It required its own post because there needed to be more suggestions...
3. Princess is cooler than your name.
4. Kamese *sighs* I'll only answer to you and that is only because as much as you piss me off I do like you. Anyone else who tries to use it will get a disgusted look and will in future be ignored.
5.You're a terrible Ugandan, I thought you were American for the first week. But then I realised only an African could whine like you do about Homosexuality. Blah Blah Blah...
6.I do like your blog. You are incorrect, so often. Me is in love.
7. Tribes are funny! They makes me laugh :D
8. African men need a really fucking massive kick up the arse for being total macho wankers. Except WileY who is too cool for that, but may be that's because he's half normal.
9. Awww, Guggy apologised. Sweet ickle duckling, you deserve a big gold star and a lipstick covered cheek.

Princess said...

1.Sex.You can write about sex all you want, in as vivid/lurid a manner as you like. That I said I wouldn't read those particular posts doesn't mean you can't write about them!
2.The name issue.I guess I over-reacted.It gets old hearing those 'Princess jokes.'Those subtle and not so subtle jabs at my person...
Your wording is at fault though, too.

*Yes, we're fine and that said, I won't be bitching about past crap.

[holds out hand]

DeTamble said...

Phew! Thank goodness for that. Don't like my siblings feuding like that, it makes me feel unnecessary stress. Bloody Children!!

gayuganda said...

DeT, number 1 is positively disgusting. Positively nauseating. Uhhhhhhgggggggghhhhh!
Well, you have an African name.
And you know what, we all love your refreshingly honest irreverence. Imagine talking about sexually molesting me!!!!!
Incest, incest, incest. How I miss 27th! He is the one who said that we all would get used to you. Over time.

I am incorrect? Never. But I am politically incorrect. That, I am.

Here is my cheek,. Lipstick, lipstick, lipstick

Sigh, ok, Princess will cover my cheek. First, a handshake, [grrrrrr], a hug, and my kisses. See, lipstick over all my gay face, please princess!!!!!

gayuganda said...

This is hillarious.

Un-necessary stress. Ha!

DeTamble said...

Heh. Heh. Suck it up my gay bitch! :P

DeTamble Aber Omuramba?
Bakashaba Ruhanga Owomwiguru Kubahereza yabahereza DeTamble?

Or do I go by all?

He said you would all get used to me...What?? That fuck! When did he say that...I vaguely remember something like that back in those Eushenticswhateverhisnamewas days.
I do so love sibling incest! Provided it's always the younger or weaker sibling who starts it.
So are you used to me yet?

If I ever get my hands on you I will glomp you and cover your face in lipstick, or lipgloss in my case. You shall be pink tinged and sticky :-) And you should feel please, it's not everyday White people voluntarily touch another human being.

gayuganda said...


She wants to touch me.

do you know how touchy touchy we are?

By the way, my lover is extremely jealous. He will ask about the lipstick, though he knows I kinda dont kiss those who....

We shall remain politically correct here, huh?

Princess said...

LOL. Why did I not see this earlier?
*And, uh GUG? I do not wear lipstick.But I probably will in a couple of weeks. :D

DeT: What's so strange about you anyhow? :P

Princess said...

Forgot to add that you may have the un-lipsticked kisses. :D

gayuganda said...

Un-lipsticked kisses.

Huh, now, besides the breasts which deT so wonderfully pointed out that we miss between us, me and my lover, I know what else I dont miss. Lipsticked kisses.

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