A Beautiful Day Outside

It's a beautiful day outside. The sun is out. The early morning a little cold, but the almost cloudless sky promises a warm day. When I was in boarding school, I found that I could predict the weather by looking up at the sky. I could tell the time to within ten minutes with a glance at the sun. That was a long time ago, when I was in primary school. Before I even got my first watch.

The time sense is gone. I spend little time outdoors these days. But the weather sense is still there. And today promises to be beautiful. Classic bright sunny Ugandan weather. Though there is something in the air which hints at lightning swift change to rain later on.

I have been out to watch the early morning. I am an early bird these days. Does not work well with my previous schedule of sex. I love sex in the morning. But now its either that or go out and think of the rising sun. Work schedules. Too tired for more than cuddling most evenings. But I do want it every day.

Gosh, there, I was talking about breaking the law! No wonder we want to be left alone. What does the government have to do with my cuddling with my lover?

I have passed through the papers. Actually, was looking for a very angry one that I sent yesterday on seeing Ssempa's usual rubbish. I do not like the guy, he seems to function on the basis that he wins the argument who shouts loudest. And he is really shouting loud! A string of impossible obscenities. By the way, to the assertion that homosexuality is against our culture, I would point out that Kabaka Mwanga who was gay (according to Ssempa) found Christianity against our culture. And of course 'our' includes me. I am a gay Ugandan. It is also my culture.

But there is something worth of notice. A number of people have come out for us. And suprising people they are. I would not have thought Gaetano, of Big Brother fame, would be so positive. Charles Onyango-Obbo is someone else. And the silver lining to the Gaetano sanctions, the fm stations were not amused at the broadcasting council’s duplicity. Why is it that people who do not like gay people believe it is right to strip them of all rights because they are gay?

My lover is down. Depressed. Yesterday it was blazing anger. A work related incident. Today it is more concentrated. Disappointment in a friend, a friendship not measuring up. Displeasure.

I held him in my arms when he was angry. Tried to warm him in his coldness. He is fuming, down now but not so much. I cannot share my personal insight that we build our lives around a set of ideals, sets of ideals. Like eternal friendships, and 'they lived happily ever after'. I am an African living in Africa. Life is too cheap, too fragile. I love him, but I am enough of a man to know that it is a rare gift, a bloom that I should celebrate each new day. Yes, I am gay, a gay man in a homophobic country. But it is not much different from a straight couple in my place. It may be a little easier. It may be harder. Depending on a lot of things.

That is why I took the chance to live my life, for myself. That is why I took my chance to live with my partner. To form a partnership. He has nursed me when I was ill. He has held me in his arms when I was stinking, fevered. He is my love, and I am his love. I will hold him now, I will hold him because I can, I will hold him because I love him.

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