Sunday, March 16, 2008

Close as death is...

Kampala, as lazy and dull as usual, meaning the morning was crisp and cold, with rain in the night, and it threatened to rain till noon. Now, past noon, inching to evening, the strength of the sun is unquestioned, the overcast is thinner, and it is warm and humid.

We have been having snarling traffic jams. ‘taxi’ fares jumped, as did those of the boda-boda motorbike taxis. The reason for the jams is fairly simple. The city council woke up and decided that a number of roads needed repair. So they are closed for repair.Apparently, all those roads seem to be around the New Mosque, so it was not a surprise for me to learn that Col. Gaddafi of Libya is expected in the country. We only repair the roads when we get a visitor. The last time it was the queen, that was less than 6 months ago, and we had a major do over. We don’t respect Gaddafi that much, so it is only around the mosque that we have done some work. Apparently, he is to visit and dedicate the Gaddafi National Mosque.

Lovers’ tiff yesterday. Went out together and I came back mad. Mad enough to sleep in the guestroom. But in the wee hours, found that the anger could no longer warm me. So I crept back to my side of the bed.

Heard the song ‘Double Bed Mazongoto’? ‘Doctor’ someone or other, one of our irascible local artists. Well, I did discover in practice that sleeping together, the reasons for anger seem to vaporize. So woke up late in the morning, wrapped up round him, very thankful for another Sunday morning in bed, with nothing on schedule. Nothing but a lazy morning, and to dream in the warmth of my lover. Perfect way to begin the day, the week.

Have been having an interesting experience of our extended family.

Have an uncle. Now, this is where the inelasticity of the English language fails me. Father’s brother, so an uncle, but very different from mother’s brother, because he is more than an ‘uncle’. He is my father, and I am a son.

Guy is terminally ill. Knew about it when he was in the village, back where my father came from long before my birth. They were born 2 boys, and a gargle of girls. Males are ‘important’, in our patriarchal society. But this uncle was the ‘black sheep’ of the family.

Anyway, the guy is sick. Terminally ill.

He was a player in his youth, one of his black marks. Fathered more than 23 children (that I know of), but many are alienated. Lives with his nth wife at the moment. Lost count when it became impossible to know who was who.

So, when he is sick and dying, his family alienated and run off, he falls back to his extended family. Which means his brother, and his brothers children, us. And the beauty of family- it does deliver.

He doesn’t look very good. Fact is he is very ill looking. But coherent, and still alert to the best deal. He is reconciled to the fact of dying. Something which the rest of the relatives are yet to deal with. One can feel the shock when another first lays eyes on him. They are literally speechless, coming face to face with one about to die, and looks it. Personally, I think, for the close companionship that death is in our lives, we are very naïve in the way we think about it, traditionally. But all communities have their own coping methods.

He is sick, and dying, and knows it. He has fallen back to his extended family, and they surround him. Reconciled to death’s appointment, he can even afford to crack morbid jokes, alarming and embarrassing the relatives who are distraught and fearful.

But he is ready, and I hope when mine comes, I am as ready! Morbid thought, on a beautiful evening.

The sun is setting just about now. Hidden behind a hill from my view. But it will be light for at least another 30 minutes . Dawn and dusk, daily times of change, beautiful when one has the luxury to sit down and appreciate them.

Have a beautiful evening, and may the week be good to you.

GayUganda

4 comments:

DeTamble said...

FIRSTIES! Do I say something about sock and boots now?

"crack morbid jokes, alarming and embarrassing the relatives who are distraught and fearful." I like him already! Pity he's about to die. Oh well.

I'm glad you had an enjoyable snugly Sunday. Next Sunday I'm going to be suffering at work and I'm going to think of you all snuggled up in your bed enjoying yourself and I'm going to send lots of lovely negative vibes Uganda's way. No fair GUG, you get snuggles on Sunday and I get to go to work! You're a lucky man and I'm jealous.

Princess said...

A joke, GUG?(double bed mazongoto)
things are looking up!:0)
Death; the smile snaps right off.
Morbid acceptance?
Good to be ready for the passing but I'd rather it be a joyful acceptance, as an end to immense suffering...

antipop said...

gug as is the case everywhere, we do tend to clean up only when a visitor is comin... hence kcc. laughing at the mazongoto. you crept back?
why?
why did u not play hard to get?
on the real tho, those tiffs are always about something unimportant. am glad some people do know how to swallow the pride and c past the mistake
and want to hold on to the good times. the love...

gayuganda said...

DeTamble,
fact is, some sundays are work for me too. But I try to make sure that the only appointment Sunday morning is bed!

Princess,

yours is the sadder thought! Why should it be a joyful passing? Joyful or not, end to immense suffering. Why I did not figure you for a supporter of Dr. Khovakian, the Dr Death!

Know you are not, and understand what you mean.

And before you ask, yes, smiles and tears are the way of life for man. Why should I only make you smile?

Antipop,
yes, I crept back. Dignified, at 5 in the morning, into the warmth of his embrace. Oh well. Pride and anger are very cold at five in the morning.

gug

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