Saturday, July 4, 2009

Reflections

I am a private person.

Except on the blog, where I come and air all my thoughts to irritate people!

Well, I am a private person, with regards to my sexuality. Comes with the territory, I am gay in a country that is homophobic. I am very used to not talking about my sexuality. It is something that (I hope), only a select few know about. And I discuss it with a measured minority.

You can imagine my discomfort at the level of exposure that Ssempa and Co has given us this last few months.

On the radios, homosexuality, sodomy is always on the fm stations. In the news, the more sensational arrests. In the talk shows, people vie with each other to tell the most sensational ‘truths’. I have just had a peep at a Saturday teenagers show on WBS television. Ssempa is the chief guest. Homosexuality is the topic. Talk about an obsession.

It is fantastic how quickly the general public kind of grows weary of a topic. For Ssempa and co, it is a crusade. An obsession. So they are going on and on and on. We kuchus have shut them out. We have to hide better, select lovers more circumspectly, but otherwise, life goes on.

Of course we hope that what happens does not come home to us. There are many who are very willing to jump on the bandwagon and abuse us. And our community is saturated with awareness of our sexuality. But they are blind. They just do not see us. A ‘homo’, the kind that Ssempa and Co talk about, has horns, a tail wrapped behind dark black, light-eating robes, wicked eyes and eye teeth, ready to bite and suck blood and ‘recruit’.

That serves us very well. We are too human to approximate to the stereotypes.

But it kind of hurts, the things which people say about us. Recently I was chatting to a mother about her kid, and she detailed how she was ‘sodomy proofing’ him. I listened, and felt sad.

I wouldn’t like her child to fall prey to a paedophile, but the fact that I am gay… It was kind of weird to hear of what should have been done so that I never become homosexual!

Sad, true.

But this is a funny country. Beautiful, wonderful in its own right.

Kind of have to look at it from the point of view that the beauty is counterbalanced by ugliness. Though I would the beauty would stand out on its own.

I have been thinking of love, and the privilege of love.

I don’t believe in abstinence. Not at all. Seems stupid to restrict one’s happiness, and enjoyment on the basis of some future blessings. Being gay in Uganda kind of emphasizes that. I mean, it is such a fragile happiness to find a man that you love and be able to share life with him. The fears and dangers are very real. And the bubble of happiness is fragile. True, I can choose to deny myself. Many do.

But why should I?

Ok, you guessed it. I am in love.

And aint it just the bomb!

2 comments:

spiralx said...

That "sodomy-proofing" approach lives on everywhere, not just in Uganda. Most parents, if asked, would say they would rather their children didn't grow up gay.

Their main reason is fear of the consequences - violence, AIDS, social and professional ostracism, and loneliness of course.

But if you look at all of those, most trace back to social and cultural causes, not biological.

In other words, if we were all as inclusive and tolerant as many of us claim (either by religion or upbringing), much of this fear would cease to be.

A goal for the future...?

SebaSpace said...

While I understand your desire for privacy, there are instances where I think that desire is more of a detriment than a benefit to the common good. Human rights are a case in point. But I intend to explore this idea on my own space … in a nod to not cluttering your space with my own thoughts.

Welcome back.

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