Out without being Out

I am out, without being out. I outed myself, yet, I am not out. Just the daily hypocrisy that our world is.

I have lived for years knowing that I was gay. It took me some time to accept that fact which was daily staring me in the face. Then it took me time to go on the search for others like me. I fell in love and have lived with another man, in full view of society for more than five years. I once wrote an article and had it published in the New Vision in my names, and nobody noted anything strange about that. I was outed once in a rag of a paper some years ago. It seems like wilful blindness.

I was at the press conference. I was noted as having been there. Matter of fact I was so tied to what happened that it is incredible that someone outside Uganda did out me. But those inside the country still doubt!

Maybe it is necessary for me to climb the minaret of the New Mosque on Old Kampala and out myself. To gain the satisfaction of people not doubting my homosexuality!

Joke. I would not do it. I don’t think people have a right knowing that I am gay. That is my business, which (somehow is the business of society, and my community and the government). It is my business with my lover. And I do dread having to come out.

Yet it is funny. There is a real sense of freedom in being able to live the double life in the open. I mean, so many people now suspect that I feel a relief that those who suspect dare not ask, and those who do not suspect are too blind.

Nsaba-Buturo commented that they know us. That he was miffed because the police did not arrest us. Well, we are.

I have thrown out too many signals. They will catch on. But it is a fact that society in Uganda is blind, blind, blind. Great that we can use that blindness. I am like a person with multiple personalities. All are out in the open, yet some never realise what is and what is not.

May they leave us in Peace!

GayUganda