My Problems in perspective

Can I still make magic with my fingers?

Seated, shirtless on our verandah. Trees are high, shade low, and cool. The leaves on the trees dance with a low charm. Leaves are full and green, the land quiet.

It is evening.

Was just listening to the horror of war in the DRC. Rape, rape as a weapon. Men, and women the victims. 

Kind of put my problems in perspective.

Listening to Museveni at a conference, African Union conference now on in Kampala. That there are wars that are justified? Will I ever believe that? I have lived through quite a number of them. Insurgence, wars, turmoil. I appreciate the peace, fragile as it is. And I still complain, and aspire to a peace that is better. To when this rough and ready land of mine is truly at peace, and all its children, gay and straight, black, brown and white are living in harmony.

So, I believe in a heaven on earth?

Maybe.

My problems in perspective.

I have food in the ladder. Will be able to eat what I want. Only my imagination will constrain me. Only the capacity of my brain will stop me from being like an animal and be happy, without any ideals to chase.

But am no animal. I am a man, a human being. Ours is to chase after ideals. To dream, and by our dreams to be made unhappy, or happy. To seek and to find. Ours is the burden.

So, I will leave the problems of war torn DRC and think about this, my land. In which some of my country mates want a final solution for me. For those of my sexuality.

A genocidal bill, tabled to be passed in a parliament in this year of our lord 2009.

I confess, I have never realy been a guest of the state. But, once upon a time, one of my lovers made a pass at someone who didn’t appreciate the compliment to his male beauty. He had my lover arrested, and, because my friend couldn’t tell his relatives, he called me, desperate for help. For the next three nights, we did the dance of the corrupt. We kuchus are always in a bind. A victimless crime, and the police just see a chance to extort money. He was inside, and I was outside, so I had to do the negotiations. They were hard, and long. I spent a few nights scratching my head, as the police held out for more and more money. Had to cough up. Really!

Taught me a valuable lesson. Who to trust? The answer is, nobody. Not when you are gay in Uganda.

So, the good Christians have agitated and written a bill that specifies either prison or death for me.

They have been challenged. While listening to Bahati and Ssempa Wednesday, I wondered whether it was me who had read the bill wrongly. They kept insisting that only those who have sex with children will get the death penalty. I went back to the text of the bill, to confirm the plain English. I am no lawyer, and it is the language which I understand.

No, the language is clear. If you are ever convicted, the sentence is life in prison.

If you are HIV positive and convicted, the sentence is death.

If you are already convicted and then you re-offend, the sentence is death.

Simply put, the only place that a homosexual like me will be either prison, or the grave. Thanks to some mighty strong people who do all this in the name of god. Yes, they call themselves Christians. Ssempa reminded me that some muslim leaders have joined them. Oh, yeah, I remember the Mufti wanted kuchus marooned on an island in Lake Victoria. No wonder Ssempa solicited for help from the dear leaders. But, I have to comment that it has been the Pentecostals, led by Ssempa who seem to have this bee in the bonnet. Who ever said that Hitler was dead? He still lives, in the likes of Ssempa. And Bahati… or, Ba-Hate, as the humourist called him!

This blog was termed anti-Christian by some very professional Christians.

Good for you. I will still hit out at you, Christians, if you don’t repent and reform. As long as you give me the fuel to lay on that fire. Yes, it will not be as whole hearted as once upon a time… But, well, you have to be called out. Pharisees. Hypocrites! Ssempa, Male, Bahati, Nsaba-Buturo and the ilk.

Sorry real Christians. I know they don’t represent all of you. (Hey Bolton, long time!)

But, it is funny that, with the stated view of the Catholic Church on homosexuality, Catholics don’t come out against the bill. After all, according to their dogma, we homosexuals happen to be human at least. Would be interesting if the opinion of Benedict is solicited… Am treading on delicate ground here, aren’t I?

But then, who would like to be equated to a homosexual in Uganda?

By the way, I have not yet heard a single Christian leader come out and speak against this Final Solution to kick homosexuality out of Uganda. Not a single Christian leader, not a single Moslem leader.

Me, I am the persecuted, and I dare to ask the question. Where are the real Christians in Uganda? Where are those who are willing to stand Christ-like between me and the punishing finality of the law?

I am yet to see any of them, inside the country. Are all of them afraid to stand up and be counted?

gug