Let me see...

Will this law pass? More than likely. Who will dare to vote against it? Who indeed? Even Elias Lukwago is brave to declare that anti-gay laws are unnecessary.

The multiple laws that I will be breaking as soon as the president signs this law. Well, our detractors had already said that we would be stiffed with a tougher law, but this goes way beyond that. If I attempt to commit the offence… (god, the number of times that I have made passes and they have been rejected!) Each of those times was worth 7 years in jail. Good heavens!!!!

Before, we could be liable to life imprisonment. gug hereby declares that, when the President of the Republic signs this law, gug will be liable to the death penalty… because I and my lover are serial offenders, breaking this law.

Now, the death penalty could still be applicable if I am gay and HIV positive, and I have sex…! That would also be automatic. Death. Oh, someone in Colombia asked me to run there when things become serious here. You know what, I will have to give up my citizenship. I cannot be gay, and Ugandan. Because if I go to Colombia and have sex with my lover, then, even if it is years afterwards, I will be liable to the punishments so legally laid out in law…!

And, and, and, you are thinking of the international laws and treaties and conventions that protect other human beings? They are not going to be protective. Not to a gay Ugandan. No. Because they are going to be neutralized by the law.

Oh, the gayuganda blog is one of the things which are illegal, as per that bill. I am furiously promoting homosexuality on this blog, complaining about a law like this. So, 5 years in prison, and my (non existent) bank balance will be set back by 100M Uganda shillings…! And the people who dare to give us condoms and lubricant for sex… Or, if you dare to have an HIV prevention programme for homosexuals in Uganda... or even try to teach safer sex. Well, the penalties are stiff. Very stiff. Jail, and jail and other things. 

Poor sympathizers. You are not left to love us. No, all lovers of gays, and gays in Uganda will suffer, and be punished by this law. Any press conferences? Not by gay Ugandans. You see, we are a pariah people that will never be like all other Ugandans. Ha ha ha ha ha!

What about me adopting children. That is a no no no. Even if I have children of my own, well, they may be taken away from me, once my sexuality is proven.

So, dear Pastor Ssempa, and the Christian born again Minister of Ethics and Integrity Nsaba-Buturo do love me? And of course Stephen Langa...

Gosh, so much love, so much love. If someone hates me, what would they do to me? I mean, if these people love me and proclaim that this law should apply to me....

And know what, to the people that I have come out as gay, when you ever learn that I have had sex... (Dont worry, I will be tweeting those facts) you have a legal obligation to report me within 24 hours. So that it can be proved that I have had sex, and that I should be arrested and imprisoned, or killed as the law sees fit.

Well, I am speechless. This morning, we made love, just to be sure that we would break the law in anticipation. Yeah, we have not had much fun, but things are about to become legally much harder! Pity Gay Ugandans!

gug

For the sake of posterity, here are the articles in the papers.  In Daily Monitor, Anti-gay law tabled. But, the New Vision puts it this way. Homosexuals face death penalty.

So, my lover quips, seems as if the heterosexuals in Uganda want to kill off the homosexuals, so that they leave the country for heteros…. So, we shall have sex to celebrate, as and when we can…! Just in case they catch us sooner rather than later.

Seriously, this law is so ridiculous and stupid that I am ashamed that it is Ugandans who have the gall and ignorance to seek to put it on the statute books. I am a gay Ugandan, and I am seriously ashamed!!!!!!!