Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Gay marriage

Why do gay people want to get married?

Because we are human beings. Because we do fall in love. Because it is not just about sex, though [sex is good]. It is about our humanness.
No, we dont want to upset the people who sincerely believe that we are a threat to them. We dont want to make them unhappy. Indeed, for most of us, we cannot fathom how a commitment to love one another, between two consenting adult human beings is so upsetting that we need to be arrested because we did so. Get married, that is.

I reported on the gay wedding ceremony in Uganda here. It was not the first. Indeed, less than 2 months ago, there was another one. We are human beings, and we crave recognition by our communities that we fall in love. Imagine, those guys in Uganda, they risked all and had their ceremony. And, if the Anti-Homosexuality bill becomes law, they would be risking life imprisonment.

A couple in Malawi made the news. From what I gather, they had an engagement ceremony of sorts. A dignified promise to each other that they would be partners. And, their community has arrested them. For 'Gross Indencency'

Homosexuality is punishable by 14 years in jail in Malawi
Two gay men arrested in Malawi after getting engaged are to be charged with gross public indecency, police say.
"We arrested them because they committed an offence; homosexuality in Malawi is illegal," police spokesman Davie Chingwalu told the BBC.
Tiwonge Chimbalanga and Steven Monjeza held a traditional engagement ceremony over the weekend - believed to be the first gay couple in Malawi to do so.
Homosexuality carries a maximum prison sentence of 14 years in Malawi.
The pair are being held in separate cells in Blantyre until their case is heard, Mr Chingwalu told the BBC's Network Africa programme.
They are due to appear in court on Wednesday.
The BBC's southern Africa correspondent Karen Allen says Malawi is a deeply conservative society.
But some voices in government have started to call for more openness about homosexuality as the authorities try to tackle high rates of HIV/Aids, she says.
 I am pretty certain that most likely, this couple is just two people in love. That, to me is the simplest explanation of what they did. I know, other people will be incensed. Tradition has been broken, and this indencecy has been made public. They should be punished. That will be the excited cry of many. Why punished? I will speculate.

But, I dont need too.

I have been with my partner almost nine years now. Gosh, yes, it is almost nine. [Problem with Christmas and New Years is that our anniversary is always too near those holidays! Guess what that does to the pocket!] I bravely promised that on our tenth anniversary, we would make it a proper wedding. Err, a proper celebration, since we cannot be wed in Uganda...! Constitutionally impossible, it is only the Bahati Bill (text here) which would add on life imprisonment to that prohibition.

When we had the wedding ceremony, my partner and I were flabbagasted. Couldnt imagine doing that sort of thing at this particular time of the year. Matter of fact, most leaders in the kuchu community were invited, without having an inkling that they were going to a kuchu introductory ceremony. It was as simple at that. Maybe it was better that way, because, if I had been asked my opinion, I would have counselled NO. Very vigorously.

But, we are human beings. And, I laud the couple in Malawi, as I lauded the couple in Uganda.

May you pass through the current troubles. May you have a good, a great life together.


PS; In other news, Some presumed gay men in Senegal were arrested on Christmas eve. Most likely spent the holiday in jail. Poor homosexuals in Africa.

And, the Daily Monitor in Uganda had out an editorial calling for calm amidst the homosexual debate. There are two things which strike me... One is the fact that those who are saying they are being threatened are actually the ones who are threatening. I mean, it is quite funny if a person starts debating with me on whether or not me and my partner should go to prison, or be put to death. That, like the BBC, 'Should homosexuals be put to death', that is not a debate at all. That is pure madness. And, I do understand a person who losses his cool. A gay Ugandan who loses his cool on that kind of debate.

But, another thing that makes me sceptical is the fact that, I have personally been accused of plotting to kill some of the principles. That was news to me. Which I quickly debunked. Since it is a curious false accusation, I am tempted to believe that, the people who are saying these things are actually trying to get sympathy, and paint us big bad homos as evil...! Of course it is.


Erik said...

This is a thoughtful post Gug.

To add to you knowledge of this subject read these arguments for gay marriage: http://www.bidstrup.com/marriage.htm

This may help you better understand the conservative, religious fundamentalist psyche: http://home.cc.umanitoba.ca/~altemey/

The truth is that we shouldn't have to explain and defend our relationships all the time.

If religious fanatics were less repressed in their own sexual desires, perhaps they wouldn't be so preoccupied with ours.

gayuganda said...

Thanks Eric.

Indeed, their obsession with my sexuality does baffle me!

Leonard said...

There is a clear indicator of heterosexual(?) obsessions with ¨Gay¨ sex...it´s a everyday life sort of ¨test¨ that I see around me (and always have)...why is it that heterosexuals(?) are so preoccupied as you say...and Gay people rarely think about, or comment about, what ¨heterosexuals¨ do in bed? It seems that most of the time ¨heterosexual¨ SEX is even noted by Gay people is when WE are forced to comment, in reply, to some sort joke/slur or desire of heterosexuals...I have NEVER noted that Gay people have a genuine interest in the intimate lives of heterosexuals(?) but the reverse is NOT TRUE! Look at the hysteria, clammour and LIES that Ssempa and his followers are willing to SCREAM ABOUT (while all the time almost entirely avoiding the issue of CLEANING UP THEIR OWN SEXUAL MESSES (and they are legion). No, there is a certain ¨better than you¨ hope that comes from bashing Gay people with lies, fear and hate. Besides, I assure you I´m not interested, at all, in what Henry Orombi or his ¨Family¨ sidekicks ¨do¨ in bed...they are really quite a loathsome and self-centered dangerous bunch of thugs.

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