World AIDS Day

It rained during the night.

Woke up once, twice, and it was raining. A gentle, steady sound of the water drops on roof, leaves, ground, and the splash splash in pools of water.

Both times I drew closer to my love, and burrowed into him more. He loves that. We curl up into each other, hold tight, and float off into dreamland. Heaven.

I overslept. He is still in bed.

But I had to get out and look at the new earth. Washed, clean brisk air. The green of trees and grass. The air is still, wonderfully clear. And all I smell is washed earth. Open the doors and windows, look out into this paradise that gods gave to man. Kampala is Garden City. Fact.

It is first of the month. Much to do.

A living to earn, life to plan. And, of course time to do all those seditious things, looking for a way out of the living prison some people want to make this for me, and mine. Imagine, beautiful Uganda, a prison. It is too sad that that is the unbarnished truth.

I lived deeply in the closet for a long time. Now, the door is barely open, but I may be forced back. Back to denying my self.

Too many people are suggesting to me that I leave. That we leave the country. Seems as if that is the only option that is left… I am feeling like a foolish ostritch, head buried in the sand, with the crowd yelling ‘Danger coming!’

Foolhardy stupidity? Sigh, let me bury my head in the sand, for just a while longer…. Forgive me, but, this is Home.

But, the fight continues. And, we are drawing an impressive number of advocates.

I am humbled. This is no longer about me, or Uganda. This is about humanity. This is about being human. I don’t like the fact that it is my country drawn up in defiance on its sovereign right to kill and imprison me for my sexuality- but, it is a hugely wider battle, of a people, a minority against a majority that chooses to believe weird, lurid rumours of xenophobia and the ‘wicked other’ to persecute some of its own people. And, many gay people, all over the world are joining hands in solidarity.

Thank you, brothers, and sisters. My thanks. Our thanks, from Uganda.

Questions, tough questions are being asked of international leaders who have influence within my country. Rick Warren. And, the other evangelicals. It is not enough to have the mantle of a peace loving God. It is time to show what you really believe.

The church in Uganda, Pentecostal, Catholic, Anglican, oh yes, Seventh Day and the rest of the Protestants, they have either lined up to say gross things about us, or they have conveniently cocooned themselves in silence. A self defeating silence. I think it is a big chance for them, to show what Christ really is. Sigh, it seems my disappointment with modern day Christians will never, ever end! What happened to the ideals of Christ? Why do you call yourselves Christians, any more?

Its rich, isn’t it? A non-believer having the gall to question your credentials in faith. [Grin], well, show me that I am wrong. [Smugly]

Ssebaspace reports that Rachel Maddow has come out against the bill. Forgive me, I don’t know the particular celebrity, apart from knowing she is a celebrity. Good for you, lady!

Just to balance that, I returned to the Monitor. Yesterday, they had the front page headline, “Uganda hits back over Gay Criticism”. No, I didn’t want to see the article. But the comments. No, I don’t want to detail them. They are pus from a boil, un-lanced, still maturing.

I have to remind myself, this bill will become law. Most likely with only minor changes. And, I will have to live with the consequences.

Here is what Nsaba Buturo has to say of the advocacy of the west for us. “If I told you how many foreign diplomats keep coming to me over the homosexuality Bill you would be shocked. But I keep telling them that the integrity of our country and our values are more important than their aid. We shall not allow those people from the Western to define our identity and destiny. In their countries Christ no longer matters. It is our responsibility to define our identity and defend it.”

I wish Ugandans read the world news. But then, they would be quite happy with their position of leadership. On homosexuality of course. This is a huge chance for them to be seen as good, upright, moral people. And, that is depressing for me! Well, I do happen to be Ugandan. But, I am whining. Cant have my cake, and eat it too, is the saying, isn’t it?

Anengiyefa muses about the fact that as a gay African, he is a mythical being. He doesn’t exist! Well, I am un-African. Sometimes it is best to take all these huge lies and soldier on in our world.

Suprise, suprise. Our neighbours to the East, Kenya, they have broken through a major barrier. They are able to talk about HIV amongst gay men. Articles are published. Here!

Seems like another world. Even their faces are on the news. Sniff, I am jealousy!

Photo from Daily Nation of Kenya.

Seems as if the interview I missed yesterday is still on. Lucky me… And, I have to remember that I have a tough question to ask of my brother. Who is one of the fundamentalist Pentecostal pastors. I came out to him, sometime ago. And, he didn’t  react so well. But, he was my playmate, back in the days when we were children. I have a tough question of him, a favor to ask of him. It will test his faith in me as a person. Against his ‘abhorrence’ of my sin as a homosexual.

Life. It is always about tough questions.

Hope you do have a wonderful day

gug