Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Very Personal



Yesterday, I came out to another of my brothers.
So help me the deities, but, I do have enough of them. Which makes it a chore, because I have decided that it is time. And, it would not be a good thing for them to know from the TV that big bro is an out and out homosexual.

Yeah, of course I do the charming, ‘You know I am a homosexual’ routine. Except that I use the word gay.
I don’t know what they think about it. Don’t give them much time to digest it. Maybe I am wrong that way. But, it is stressful embarrassing thing. I know what they all think about being gay. So, I kind of have to go through that all the time, and want to spend as little time as possible on the actual job. Call me a coward, you wont be far wrong.

Why don’t heterosexuals come out? Hey, you know I am hetero…! It would even the score. Just a bit!

Anyway, I tell my bro. And, he goes tells my dad something about it.

Today was Daddy’s birthday. 72 years. I believe.

Yeah, Daddy came to me after he had talked to brother. And, he was agitated.

He is an elder. On the village, in the clan, in the tribe. He has taken a lifetime of work to get to this position of respect all around. And, I am doing him the disfavour of coming out to all and sundry. Saying what I am, gay, and fearless about it.

Hey, I thought he would be happy about it…

No. He was not. And, a kind request, could I at least think of getting off the village? I can do it out of sight, at least. He may know that I am there, but…!

The old man had designated me the heir apparent.
See, am the second son, but the apple of his eye. But, I thought….! He has pleaded with me to get married. Silence on my part. He even offered me a girl, and I laughed him off. No thanks, I told him. Then, he told me, at least children. He didn’t think that I am sterile just because I am gay. No response from me. Then, he pleaded, more than a year ago now, at least one child. Even if it is a girl. (We are Africans. A girl child does not grow the clan. A boy child does.)

I was deaf to his entreties.

Well, I am gay.
I knew he knew it, but, we would not discuss it before this year. Maybe I have something to thank Bahati for!

Needless t say, my whole day was spoilt yesterday. Today, I decided to try and cover up the loss that I felt. It hurts. Very badly. It hurts.

But I am afraid with the threat of life imprisonment, and Death in my own country, I cannot respect my dad’s request to remain silent.
Maybe we can come to a compromise. A bit of it.

But the bill is still in parliament. And there is work to do.

And, he remains my Dad. Wonder how Mom is taking it?

A very personal post. Have a great day. It is night here, and I have to make sure I don’t spend too much time thinking about that.
Good evening.


gug

7 comments:

Eduardo Guize said...

you are such a brave man

Karen said...

Coward??? I don't think so.

Hélder António said...

Good evening, gug, and good Wednesday.

.::.~*Dovie*Lee*~.::. said...

I SUPPORT YOU 1 MILLION PERCENT!

Anonymous said...

Well done! Because we all know that this is the right way! Don't give up, move on, keep your head up and don't be disoriented by negative elements on the road. We are all here to support you!

John said...

You're a brave man. It's not easy with parents and harder still when someone else tells them (as happened to me, also) - it feels less like sharing the truth and more like a secret revealed.

I'm writing from the US, where we have heard a lot about the bill, but not so much about the individuals such as yourself who are affected by it. You are indeed brave to share your stories. Both with your family and with all of us reading.

Take good care gug.

Tobias said...

We keep you and all kuchus in Uganda in our hearts!

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