Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Recruiting European Homosexuals

Whats it with European homosexuals? Why are they recruiting in Uganda?

Well, as opposed to American homosexuals!

Surprise, surprise, I personally prefer Ugandan homosexuals. Maybe that is why I love my infuriating little country.
I am mad, of course. Figures. Since I am gay, and Ugandan!

Was just thinking of Museveni’s statement, on the recruiting European homosexuals. We blame them for colonialism nowadays. Something which, of course, is no longer politically correct. Once upon a time, our tribes were colonialists and expansionist. Just get an hour and ask Museveni about the colonialist Buganda.

But, I am digressing. Why are European homosexuals recruiting in Africa? How come I don’t know anything about this? What do you do when you recruit? When recruited? Earn lots of money? Get super duper children? But, they recruit homosexuals, don’t they?

Or, they make them homosexuals? I think that is the point.

I have never really been to Europe. Are all people there homosexuals? I have heard that in Sweden, the churches even bless homosexual marriages. That country must have all people homosexual. It is a must. How can that not be? I mean, all of them must have been recruited already. That is why we are having them come to Africa, to recruit our youths. And Minister Buturo is always holding it over our heads like the proverbial sword of Damocles. [as in, where will Uganda be when homosexuals takeover?]

Well, they deny it. Of course. They are homosexuals. Liars. Who would expect them to tell the truth? Even in the face of incontrovertible evidence. And Uganda has solid proof of this neo-colonial plot. They think we are stupid, implying that we are stupid and we dont know.

And, Uganda’s head of state has to inform some youthful achievers of the danger of the European Homosexuals.

Sorry, didn’t know, but they are recruiting in Africa! Not only Uganda. That is why in South Africa, they have legal gay marriage. Note, Ssempa blamed that legal position for the high rates of HIV…. Not a new thing. Of course gay marriage leads to high HIV rates. A source of the infection, the noted Ugandan HIV activist, Pastor Martin Ssempa said.

Anyway, the President’s statement was very very crucial. You see, there is this ‘Anti-Homosexuality Bill’ in Parliament. The parliament has to pass it, and then the President assents to it before it becomes law of the land.

Of course the President can say no. And the bill will never become law, that is, until a two thirds of parliamentarians overturn his veto.

But, but, but…. Well, the president is the president. And he is Ugandan. And why would he not protect Ugandan youths from the depredation of European homosexuals? Of course he will. And, in any case, if our Brilliant Leader refuses to sign the bill, why, the Parliament will, with great fervour, for the first time in his 27? years as President, they will overturn his veto.

[Rubber stamp parliament!]

It would be funny that the first time that the parliament would have overturned the presidential veto would have been on the moral issue of homosexuality. Very, very funny.

It would be funny if my life was not somewhere hanging in balance, anyway.

A question to the recruiting European homosexuals, do you plan to re-populate Europe with African homosexuals? Will that solve the problem of Europe’s shrinking population, (which you of course caused by letting the homosexual agenda have free reign.)

I thought it would be better for you to repopulate with magnificent African breeders, er, heterosexuals,… but then, my logic is a bit off. I am a mad gay Ugandan, you see. But, let us continue that thought.

See, when the President signs that law, which aims to rid Uganda of homosexuals, and be an example to the whole world, then, the only place where a Ugandan homosexual will be is in a Ugandan prison, or on death row.

Yeah, they will not be safe, even in Europe…!?

So, we shall have to emigrate. A grand, homosexual Exodus from Uganda and Africa, to repopulate Europe. Maybe that was the island that the Mufti was thinking of. Very cool logic that, isn’t it?

But, I hear it is very cold in Europe, some parts of the year, not so? Definitely not the place to be. Not for this poor, mad, gay Ugandan. Imagine, having to leave Uganda!

Errr, I believe it was since Amin, [Conqueror of the British Empire] that we Ugandans wrote a clause into the constitution for a minimum education level for the Head of State? But, it is true that education is no foil to willful ignorance. Afterall, the Honourable Nsaba-Buturo is (like ?Thabo Mbeki, HIV denialist), a PhD in Economics…!

Hey, I have just remembered. Buturo got the PhD from Britain. That is an island in the bigger island of Europe, isn’t it? So, he must have first hand experience of these recruiting European homosexuals, (that is, if Britons are Europeans, are they?)

I think Buturo is the whisper in the Presidential ear, the one about recruiting European homosexuals…. Or, is it the President’s experience from his years of exile in Sweden? No, the president said that he has been (reliably) informed that European homosexuals have recruiting agencies established in Uganda.

Funny, the President is the chief ‘driver’ of the drive for ‘investors’ especially from Europe, etc. Are some of them, gods forbid, the recruiters? A business venture?

I assure you, all this is poor speculation. I am mad. Certifiable. A gay Ugandan.

Now, all this is treasonous material. Despite my evident madness. Seditious stuff, all. But I am mad, and that is a defence, isn’t it? Or maybe not in Uganda…!

Recruiting European Homosexuals! REH.

ha ha ha ha ha ha!


PS. I sincerely hope that I dont soon have to post about Recruiting American Homosexuals. Dear American friends, cease and desist. This is Uganda, in Africa. Thank you very much.

1 comment:

Skorrdal said...

In Iceland, where almost 1/3 of the population (around 100.000 people) joins our Gay-Pride parade each year - we still don't have more homosexuals... Not to my knowledge...

We have more tolerance, that's for sure, so fewer gays have to suffer through the pain of uncertainty and shame, that I had to suffer, when I was in my teens and twenties - and almost to my thirties. We are still around 5% of the population, or just under that - and we have been able to get married, been equal by the law. And by doing that, we have saved a lot of lives, even if some - still - choose to take their own, because of their inner pain and suffering, brought to them mostly by right-wing christians, who hide their bigotry and hate by pointing to the scriptures; the Bible.

If it were possible to "recruit" some one to become homosexual, life would be so much easier for me, but - I am sorry to say - it's not possible; believe you me - I've tried! :P Either you are or you're not (but some are bisexual, and there is nothing we can do about that...)!

You know my heart is with you over there. I am glad I haven't had to fight your battle - and I am doing what I possibly can, to lend a hand. Europe is crazy - I know; we try to respect each other. Europe of today, is trying to grow up... WE made many mistakes in the past - but I hope we can make them right. Or at least try...

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