Loving Hate

I am in a war.

No. It is not my choice. I have not asked for it. Just that I was born at a time and place, and of a sexual orientation that is different from the rest of the world.

I don’t understand why the enemy fights me.

True, I don’t really understand. But, my understanding goes as far as knowing that they really will stop at nothing to win their war.

They say that they love me. So, all that they do, in the name of their god, they do for love of me. I didn’t ask them for their love. No. I didn’t. What I see is that I am a fellow human being. A citizen of this earth. But, they say they are the inheritors. And, they would want to drive out all those who are like me. Of course in the name of love, and Christ. And religion.

They have lots of justifications. I do not claim to understand all their logic. All the long winded arguments. What I understand is that they are persecuting me. And, if I was to ask, why are you persecuting me, why are you hitting out at me, they answer, like in this story, ‘you are dirty.’

I  am so dirty that thieves, murderers and others have the right to beat me infront of the authorities. What is my God licensnced crime? Just read the story which I picked up here.

“Almost three decades later, I found myself in a concentration camp at the outskirts of Addis Ababa.

“One early morning, I heard someone screaming. When I followed the voice, a habitual offender jailed for the second time for aggravated robbery and another one sentenced to life for murder, was brutally clubbing a fellow inmate in front of a prison guard. When I asked the guard, why he sanctioned the beating, he answered simply “he’s dirty.” Another inmate who noticed my bewilderment told me that the hapless boy is gay.””

Yes. That is my crime, before my country mates. Fellow humans. Fellow Africans. That is my crime, the one that brings out all the hate in you.

I am gay.

I hear the cries down the centuries. The condemning voices. ‘He is a Jew’. ‘He is a Cockroach, a Tutsi.’, in Kenya it was, ‘He is Jaluo’, or, ‘he is Kikuyu’. In South Africa, it is damning, as they beat and torch ‘foreigners’, ‘He is a foreigner’.

No further explanation is needed for our unthinking hate. And, it is hate.

I cannot deny being a human being like you. You look too much like me for me to deny we are related. I don’t understand your hate. But, it still hurts.

I am in a war, not of my choosing. And, an arrow into my chest hurts as much as it would hurt, shot into yours.

I am in a war to the death. I will not hold back, because I don’t understand your hate of me.

gug